am I a bad christian...

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (thriving sobi) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 22:55:53 GMT

"Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves...

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (JesusHollaChrist) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:24:17 GMT

Even I couldn't raise that bit from the dead.

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (ThatSatanGuy) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:21:08 GMT

Hey, kids! Yeah, Jesus there...heh...it makes sense, you know? I mean, you don't want a bunch of assholes around who ask all sorts of, like, real questions, you know? "Hey, there, Jesus...so, like, why are we here, huh? What's the big plan? The big scheme? What's with the fucking platypus?" No, no...then you'd have to like...answer that shit. Much better to be like..."Hey...don't fall asleep there, okay guys?" and then be all "Hey, I told you all...

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (Eurytol) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:16:41 GMT

Oops, I forgot you're funny.

OK, all the other ghostnics suck.

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (JesusHollaChrist) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:15:49 GMT

Actually I turned the water into wine so people would quit saying "yeah right, if you're god then walk on this!"

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (Eurytol) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:10:14 GMT

Seriously, sloan. And now we have someone trying to have an honest to God (oops, pun) theological discussion.

wtf

This thread is about retarded disciples, and the ONLY acceptable threadjack happens to be that of retarded Jews (because that is always an acceptable threadjack, really). Next thing you know there will be someone coming in here saying that Jesus sucks for not letting gays marry and creating the Republican party.

Anyway, the disciples are still...

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (thriving sobi) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:03:26 GMT

Are not Christians just bad Jews who in-turn are just bad Sumerians? Afterall, it's all lifted from Akkadian and Babylonian mythology.

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (Sloansalad) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 20:45:24 GMT

God Damn character nics have gotten on my last fucking nerve.

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (Shemeji Yabara) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:42:02 GMT

I only work for myself

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (PunkinHeadToo) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:37:00 GMT

so.....are you applying for Ed McMann's straight man job?

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (Shemeji Yabara) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:34:35 GMT

All religions agree Jesus was a very cool cat

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (PunkinHeadToo) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:26:48 GMT

can I offer you some m&m's?? :p

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (StarRider) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:24:28 GMT

Yea, i need to tell another joke like i need another hole in my hand

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (Shemeji Yabara) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:12:04 GMT

Don't worry about the apostles, worry about the evangalists, Mamalujo. The apostles are dead, the evangelists breath when we read them, goosebump when we throw them. Miracles. It wasn't 5 loaves and 2 fish feeding 4000 people; it was "some rolls and two sardines." You can feed 40 people like that--if they haven't eaten in a week.

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (PunkinHeadToo) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:07:54 GMT

YOU'RE an original!!

oh wait..... :)

nope....I guess no one knows the author...the place I found it says this:

Since the 1980s, a story has circulated in church circles of what would have happened if Jesus had taken the advice of management consultants, it even made the business pages of the Daily Inquirer in...

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (StarRider) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:04:30 GMT

Hey my joke was an original!

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (PunkinHeadToo) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:48:51 GMT

Oh no Eury! I wish I was that smart, lol. That's a really old article that I always remembered. I'll have to check and see if anyone knows who actually wrote it...it was one of those urban legend emails before there was email :)
Your post just seemed perfect for it so I went googling. Glad you had a laugh!

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (For Petes Sake) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:00:52 GMT

Eurytol wrote:
for thinking that the Disciples were all retarded?

"Jesus, I don't think you should do that!"
"I'm scared. We're all totally going to die!!"
"Jesus, you want to do WHAT? Damn, that's gonna require some kinda miracle or some... oh, yeah"

Perhaps the disciples were working for this person...

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (Eurytol) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 13:35:42 GMT

I'd need a last supper with my husband first.

Seriously though, I really laughed my ass off at that. Did you write that? Because it's the funniest thing I've read on the boards since AMAI's erotic coming of "ahhh!" story.

Re: am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (PunkinHeadToo) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 13:33:43 GMT

LOL

dinner?

am I a bad christian...

feeds@yuku.com (Eurytol) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 18:59:36 GMT

for thinking that the Disciples were all retarded?

"Jesus, I don't think you should do that!"
"I'm scared. We're all totally going to die!!"
"Jesus, you want to do WHAT? Damn, that's gonna require some kinda miracle or some... oh, yeah"