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Here's the first episode, I know I posted it somewhere else already, but I didn't know I was supposed to post it on the same site

Episode one "It Sucks To Be Picked Last"

"Welcome to another exciting season of Survivor!" Jeff Probst announced to the eighteen returning players. "You've all played this game before" He continued, "So I'm sure you all know the rules."

Dolly Neely bit down hard on her lip. Being only the second boot on her season, she knew she wouldn't have much of a chance. All the other players seemed to know the game far better then her. Even people like Ashley Massaro and Lesley Nease, who were also early boots, had advantages being hard core survivor fans. She sighed heavily and tried to think about something else. Next to her stood an Asian woman, with a mysterious air about her. Dolly only slightly recognized her as Stacy Kimball. Stacy was the kind of person who always kept her distance. No one really knew much about her, and she seemed to like it that way.

"So here's the deal" Jeff said, interrupting Dolly's thoughts "You are going to spend the first part of the day one living together at one camp. That way you will get to know each other before we do tribal pick ums tomorrow. "I'll see you guys than" He said than took off.

"Alright tribal pick ums" Courtney Yates said in a confessional, she gave the camera a thumbs up. "Usually I would hate that idea because I'd know for a fact that I'd get picked last, but in China I really bonded with Frosti, so I know almost for certain that he's going to chose me to be on his tribe." She giggled a little. "He really likes me, I just know it"

Frosti on the other hand was not too enthusiastic about seeing that Courtney had returned. "It's not that I don't like her" He said in a confessional, "But there's only so much of Courtney I can take. She was really fun at first, but after a while, I almost get to the point where I can't stand her."

"Hey!" Courtney said enthusiastically. Frosti nervously wrung his hands. "Hey um…..Courtney" He stammered. "This is just like old times" Courtney said. She gave him a tight squeeze hug, and refused to let go. "I can't breathe" Frosti complained. "Oh" Courtney said releasing her grip a little bit.

"See what I mean?" Frosti asked the cameras "She's suffocating me, literally." He sighed, "But at the same time I'm totally attracted to her."

Frosti and Courtney went over to join the rest of the group

"Well since we're all here" Wanda Shirrik said "why don't we all do some ice breakers?" "Sounds just like something Wanda would want to do" Courtney said in a confessional, "She's so obnoxiously corny, no wonder, no one picked her on Palau, I bet you anything she's going to be picked last." Wanda looked around. "I only see 17 of you" She announced, "I thought for sure there were 18 people this season." "There were." Dolly said smiling, "I'll go get her." Wanda beamed. "Well hurry up" She said, "We can't start this until we have everyone."

Stacy was sitting by herself on the beach. She tried to remember what exactly it was that made her decide to return to the game of survivor. Her mind drew a blank. Her experience in Fiji hadn't been a positive one. Though she had played under the radar, somehow she still managed to make herself hated by everyone.

"It's always been the same story" She said in a confessional. "I make friends, they find out I'm a total bitch, and then it's over. Story of my life." She smiled bitterly, "So I suppose I just have a whole new group of people to be hated by why I returned, I really wish I had an answer."

"Hey Stacy" Dolly said sitting next to her. "Hi" Stacy said curtly, "What?" She glared at her sharply with her deep brown eyes. Dolly flinched. "Um" She said, "We're doing some icebreaker things over at camp, and I don't know I think it sounds kind of I don't know, fun" Stacy smirked, "Yeah you would" she said and turned the other way to continue staring at the ocean.

"You should join us" Dolly suggested lamely.

"I don't know if you noticed" Stacy said, "But I'm not exactly the kind of person who like's icebreakers, I find them retarded."

"Come on Stacy!" Dolly pleaded. "Okay fine!" She sulked, "But I'm not going to say anything to anyone, and I'm not going to like it."

"Um fair enough I guess" Dolly said. Stacy reluctantly followed Dolly to where the rest of the group was. "I hate you!" She said under her breath.

"There's our 18^th member!" Wanda beamed. "I'm so glad you decided to join us, were going to have so much fun" Stacy scowled hard. "Okay!" Wanda started, "I'd like everyone to get into pairs of two. Osten Tyler's hand shot up in the air. "Yes Osten" Wanda asked, "Aren't pairs kind of always in two?" He asked. "Yes they are Osten!" Wanda said enthusiastically, "Good job!" Osten silently congratulated himself on his "cleaver" remark. "I'd like you to pair up with someone you don't know" Wanda suggested, "Then I will tell you to switch partners, hopefully at the end of this activity, everyone will get a chance to get to know each other and, where are you going Stacy?" Stacy was heading back towards the ocean, "You get you're butt over here." Stacy turned around and walked toward the group swearing under her breath.

"I thought this activity was going really well," Wanda said in a confessional "but then I got a lot of complaints from pretty much everyone, that Stacy was not participating; she wasn't even trying to get to know anyone"

"Stacy!" Wanda said approaching her, "I'd like to have a word with you." Stacy scowled hard. "Do you understand this activity at all?" Wanda asked. "Oh I understand." Stacy said. Wanda shook her head, "No Stacy, I don't think you do understand." She said, "Everyone's been telling you about themselves, which I think was very nice of them, and I think they expected to learn more about you."

"Well you know something?" Stacy snarled, "I didn't give a rat's ass about anyone and their magical story book fairy tale lives. See ya" She said taking off again. "Wait a minute Stacy!" Wanda said, "Everyone, Stacy is really sorry that she wasn't participating and to make up for it, she's going to tell all of you all about Stacy Kimball." "LIE!" Stacy shouted. "Come on Stacy" Wanda said, "Everyone's waiting." Stacy gave everyone a fake smile. "Okay" She started, "So you all want to know about me" She continued smiling at everyone. "Well too bad" She said, "Because that is none of your business"

"I actually kind of like that girl Stacy" James Clemmet said in a confessional, "She like has this kind of mystery vibe to her," He shivered. "I think it's kind of cool how she won't tell about herself, maybe she's like a mutant alien from another dimension or something, I think the less I know about her, the more I like her."

"Stacy!" Wanda said sounding annoyed. "Come on just tell us one thing about yourself and then will let you off the hook." Stacy felt her eyes water and her face become hot. She was trapped. "One thing about myself?" she asked, "Okay well, I, Stacy Kimball, believe that we just might have tree mail. With that she took off in search for tree mail. Sure enough Jeff had left tree mail. "Tree mail, you guys!" She said nonchalantly as she returned to the group."

"Wow!" Osten said sounding amazed, "Are you like Psycho or something?"

"Why would you ask that? You know very well it's none of your business" Stacy said defensively. "Besides why would you assume that about me?" "Duh!" Osten said hitting his head with his fist, "Because you can predict the future." "I think what our very mentally challenged friend meant to say is Psychic" Greg Buis said. "I'm not mentally challenged" Osten lied. "What does the tree mail say?" Asked Dolly. Stacy began reading, "It says we have our first challenge, for this challenge you will run across the Aztec ruins. At the end of the ruins, there is an Aztec pyramid that you are to run up, the two people who reach the top of the pyramid first will be the tribe captain's one man and one woman; you will then split into tribes.

"That sounds easy" Stacy said rolling her eyes. "Does not!" Osten protested, "Too much walking, er I mean running, too much running."

"I was being sarcastic OSTEN!" Stacy said irritably.

"Welcome to your first challenge" Jeff announced "You all got the tree mail, you all know what you're supposed to do, I have set up a maze through the ruins, you are to run through them. Once you've completed the maze you will reach an Aztec Pyramid, there you will run up the steps, as I have mentioned in my tree mail, the man and woman who reach the top first will get to be the team captains. "Too much walking er running" Osten complained. Jeff groaned. "Osten!" He said coldly, "My all time favorite quitter, please tell me why you came back."

"I was bored" Osten explained nonchalantly, "I had nothing better to do." Jeff rolled his eyes. "Well" He said, "I hope this challenge helps you become less bored." He turned to the others. "On your marks get set GO!" He shouted.

Everyone was completely out of breath by the time they arrived at the top of the pyramid. "Alright" Jeff said, "I know all of you are exhausted from this challenge, but we still have work to do. It looks like Jaime Dugan and James Clemet were the first people to make it to the top, so they will be your team captains." He looked right at them. "To determine who get's to pick first you will participate in a game of rock, paper, scissors."

"I hate that game" Osten said making a face, "Every time I play it I lose."

"Well Osten!" Jeff said, "It's a good thing than that you don't have to play it. On your marks get set go." (Jaime wins) "Okay" Jeff said, "Jaime beats James's paper with her scissors, which means she get's to pick first, Jaime you get to chose a guy."

"Erick!" Jaime said without any hesitation. Jeff rolled his eyes. "Some how I figured" He said, "Since you guys are you know dating." Erick walked over to Jaime, who instantly through her arms around him. "I guess that means I'm stuck with her" Erick says in a confessional, I love her to death and everything, but lately she's been getting real bossy and clingy. But honestly how can you say no to someone like Jaime?"

"James" Jeff said, "You get to pick a woman" James take a good look at all the women. "It's really hard to choose" He complained. "I guess I'll go with.........Stacy get on over here!" He said. Stacy reluctantly walked over to James. "Now its Ericks turn to pick a woman" Jeff announced.

"Pieh Gee" Erick answered. "Alright" Jeff said, "Jaime's tribe with three members, Stacy it's now your turn to pick another man." Stacy scowled hard. "I don't really like any of these choices" Stacy told the camera, "But I guess I have to pick someone." She sighed heavily. "Stacy we're waiting" Jeff said, "I guess I'll go with," Stacy continued looking around. "Todd!" She finally decided, "He is a winner after all" Stacy said in a confessional, "So there has to be something good about him." "Interesting choice" Jeff said, "Being a winner, Todd will either be a more valuable tribemate, or an early threat, we will see." He turned his attention to Pieh Gee. "Pieh Gee" He said, "You may go ahead and pick another man." "I'll go with Frosti" She decided. "It looks like the Survivor China cast has reunited." Courtney beamed. "By that logic" She said to the cameras "Frosti's definitely going to chose me, I just know it. I mean it's like Duh! Why wouldn't he choose me?" "Todd!" Jeff said "Choose a woman" "On the other hand" Courtney said to the cameras "Todd and I bonded really well in China so he might choose me as well, but I'd rather Frosti chose me, we had a better bond I think." Todd thought about it for a while. "Lesley" He said, "Nice to see ya again." "And it's nice to see you again too." Lesley said. "Even though Todd and I don't exactly share the same religious beliefs," Lesley said in a confessional "I really learned to like the kid" "Frosti" Jeff said, "You're next." Courtney winked at him. "Um I choose...................................................." Frosti's mind completely drew a blank. Courtney was standing there batting her eyes innocently. Frosti tried to look away but he couldn't resist. "I choose..........................................................................." He bit down hard on his lip. "We're waiting Frosti, if you don't decide; I'm going to go straight over to Lesley."

"I choose Wanda!" Frosti blurted out. Courtney's mouth fell open. She was completely speechless. Wanda marched right up to Frosti. "Thank you so much for choosing me to be on your tribe, we're going to have so much fun." She turned to the remaining survivors, "Isn't he the sweetest? I mean there are just all these hot girls to chose from and he chose little old me, it shows that he doesn't have a shallow bone in his body, and I like that" She hugged Frosti next to her. "Yeah" Courtney said under her breath." the sweetest." %*@%@ weld up in her eyes. This was not happening to her. "Alright Lesley" Jeff said "Who did you chose" "Brady seems like a fine sensible young man" She said, "Come join the group." "I won't let them down" Brady said in a confessional, "I'm one of the strongest, and I will work hard to help this team out" "Wanda" Jeff said, "Your turn"

"I would love it if Yauman, were on this tribe" She said. "Brady" Jeff continued, "Another woman." "I'll pick Dolly" He said. "We were in Vanuatu together," He said in a confessional "though neither of us lasted very long, we really bonded at loser lodge, I'm not sure if she's a strong player, because I never was on the same tribe with her, but I do like her. She's like the little sister I never had." Dolly ran up to Brady and the others. "I was almost certain I would be picked either last or second to last" She said in a confessional, "I was only a second boot the first time around, so I thought for sure people would see me as an unworthy player." %*@%@ of joy streamed down her face. "I thought for sure Brady would choose one of the stronger and or smarter or more confident women." Dolly said in a confessional. "But he chose me" She giggled.

"Yauman!" Jeff said, "Now it's time for you to pick a woman." "I like Christa" He said. Jeff turned to Dolly, "Another man please" He said, "Greg!" Dolly said. "Christa another man" Jeff said, Christa looked around, the only men left were Osten Taylor of her own season and Dave Cruser the psychopath from Survivor China. "Tough decision" She said in a confessional, "If I have to choose between the Psychotic workaholic and well Osten, I'd probably go with the Psychotic workaholic" "Greg, your turn" "Ashley!' He said sounding as if almost in a trance." "YEAH!" Ashley said enthusiastically. "This is going to be like the funnest tribe ever!" She said in a confessional, "I mean it's like a whole freak show, I'm excited." "Alright" Jeff said, "We are now down to two member's Courtney and Osten" "Dave take your pick" Dave sighed heavily. "Courtney!" He said unenthusiastically. Courtney moped over to the group. "Osten!" Jeff said, "You are automatically on the other tribe. Jaime, Erick, Pieh Gee, Frosti, Wanda, Yauman, Christa, Dave, Courtney, you get the dark blue buffs, you are now the Perez tribe, I have drawn you a map of where you will be living, you will canoe over there. "The rest of you" Jeff said, "Will be living on this beach" He handed each of them a dark red buff, "You are now the Sanchez tribe. I'll see you all at the next challenge." He told everyone "Perez, you may start canoeing over to your camp."

"This is so exciting!" Osten said in a confessional, "I'm actually on a tribe!" His excitement was completely ridiculous since there was an even number of castaway's so everyone was going to get picked. "I'm going to make an attempt to try harder to be likable." He said in a confessional, "I'm not the lazy person they saw in Pearl Islands, that person is long gone."

"Hello new tribe mates!" Osten said enthusiastically. Everyone gave him weird looks. "So?" He said, "I see you're all helping around camp, I love helping around camp. Can I help you help around camp? Anything you want me to do I'll do it."

"None of us knew what to say to that." Todd said in a confessional, "We've all seen Pearl Islands, we all know that Osten does NOT love helping around camp."

"Yeah okay" Dolly said, "Um you can help with the latrine if you want." Osten made a face. "That's okay!" He said, "Is there anything else I can do?" "Yes" Todd injected, "I wouldn't mind if you did all our chores. This camp needs a lot of fixing up, let's see, we don't have a shelter yet, why don't you work on that, oh and when you're done, why don't you get us some food, and after that why don't you filter us some water, and fire wood we might need that for cooking, oh and we could always use some fish." Osten looked practically disgusted. "Oh" Ashley said, "And can I have a backrub? My muscles are really stiff!" "Um" Osten said "You said you'd do anything we asked you to" Todd said, "And that's what we're asking you to do" Osten looked like he was about to cry.

"Osten don't listen to him" Brady said, "What is your problem TODD?" He yelled. "Relax man!" Todd said, "It was only a joke." "Well no offense to Osten or anything" Brady said, "But he's kind of an idiot, and I don't think he understood that it was supposed to be a joke."

"I'm not an idiot!" Osten said, "JK, I am an idiot."

Courtney on the other hand was not at all enthusiastic about being chosen last in fact she was very pissed off. "Let me tell you something" Courtney said in a confessional, "It totally sucks to be chosen last," %*@%@ streamed down her cheeks, "But what sucks even more" She continued, "Is that Frosti didn't choose me, he chose that annoying Wanda freak, who wasn't even officially a survivor since she wasn't even chose to be on a tribe the first time around." Courtney cried in her hands. "I feel really bad now" Frosti said in a confessional, "I would have chosen her, but I completely panicked. I know she was getting suffocating and everything but what I did was inexcusable." Frosti smiled nervously at Courtney. Courtney returned it with an icy glare. "Now I know I'm in for it." Frosti said in a confessional. "As soon as she's done icing me, she's going to start screaming at me." Courtney sat in the canoe with her arms crossed; she felt a tap on her back. She turned around. "I said are you going to help us or not?" Pieh Gee said sounding annoyed. "This is pathetic" She said in a confessional, "We haven't even got to camp, and already Courtney's not pulling her weight." %*@%@ continued streaming down Courtney's face, "I'm sorry!" She said bitterly, "I'm just upset." Pieh Gee through her head back in exasperation. "About what?" She cried, "About being picked last? You need to get over yourself; it's not the end of the world. Someone had to be chosen last." Courtney just turned away saying nothing. "I'm upset!" Courtney said in a confessional, "And I'm going to rub it in as much as possible." She crossed her arms across her chest and stayed in that position until the tribe reached camp. Frosti lightly touched Courtney on the shoulder. "Courtney look, I'm sorry I meant to choose you!" Courtney spun around. "Yeah!" She snapped, "Than why didn't you? You had every opportunity to choose me and you chose that freak Wanda." "Now don't take it out on me!" Wanda scolded. "I understand that you're upset, who wouldn't be? But your behavior right now is extremely inappropriate. Maybe you should help me set up the shelter. That might take your mind off of things. "NO!" Courtney shrieked. "Okay you could always work on the latrine." %*@%@ streamed down Courtney's cheeks, "Why do you hate me so much?" She sulked, "What ever are you talking about?" Wanda asked, "You!" Courtney snapped, "You're making me work on the latrine, GROSS!"

Even though Todd was a former winner, he did not seem at all worried about his place in the game. "According to Jeff" Todd said in a confessional, "My being a former winner can go one of two ways; I may be an early threat or a valuable player." A smile crept across his face. "Looking around at all my tribe mates, I realize that I am definitely the most valuable. Almost everyone here appears to be an early boot, and then we have Osten who quit in his season." Todd rolled his eyes. "I don't want to make it sound like I'm better than everyone else" he said, "But well, it's kind of true."

"Since we've gotten to camp" Dolly said in a confessional "Todd hasn't been doing anything remotely productive, you'd think being a former winner would kind of put him in a vulnerable position, but he hasn't once done anything to try to save himself, he hasn't once done anything except sit on his lazy ass and act like he's better than everyone"

Meanwhile Ashley's eyes were fixed on Stacy who continued to sit on the beach. "That girl" Ashley said in a confessional, "Is beautiful" She sighed lightly. "No one know's the first thing about her, and I'm dying to be the first to find out who she is. I know what I want out here and that is to form an alliance with Stacy, and I will stop at nothing." She walked over to where Stacy was and sat down next to her. "Hey" She said, invading all of Stacy's personal space. Stacy gave her a frightened look. She pointed to her lip. "So are you wondering what happened to my lip ring?" She asked. "That's exactly what I'm thinking about right now" Stacy said, "In fact I've never been more curious about anything in my entire life."

"Well" Ashley said dramatically, "last year my lip got infected, and than that very same year, I got lock jaw. And it was all because of the stupid ring, so I got it removed." She paused dramatically for effect. "Good for you" Stacy said and moved away. "I know she's playing the sympathy card right now, she almost literally came up to me and asked, 'do you want to talk about the time I had tetanus?'" Stacy said in a confessional, "She seriously needs to give it up; she's not going to win any sympathy from me. If she really did have lock jaw, I really wish she still had it that would be awesome."

"Um Ashley listen" Stacy said, "Not that I don't want to talk about the time you had lock jaw, I mean it sounds like it would be fascinating and everything, but I have to um," She turned her head. "I have to um go over there for a while" She said turning her eyes to another spot on the beach."

"Damn!" Ashley said in a confessional, "I have no idea why I thought this would be easy, but I'm going to keep trying."

"That's really cool Stacy!" Ashley said, "Can I join you?"

"No!" Stacy said curtly.

Ashley stuck out her lip. "You should be nicer to me" She scolded, "I've been sick!" "Here she goes again" Stacy said in a confessional, "I am so voting for her tonight or whenever we lose the next challenge" She looked around at her tribe mates and smirked, "With this tribe" She said, "How could we not lose? Besides Todd, this tribe has the word LOSER written all over it in bright red ink."

At the Perez camp, Frosti had finally got his nerve up to speak to Courtney. "She's probably just going to continue icing me" He said in a confessional, "But I really need to talk to her" he had planned out his conversation a couple of times and felt he was ready. "Courtney" He said approaching her. "I really like you and everything, but well you see."

Courtney cut him off "YOU DO NOT!" She screeched, "You're just like everyone else, everyone else hates me, I somehow thought you were different, but you know something, you're even worse than everyone else, you know why? Because you pretended to like me, at least everyone else is honest about disliking me."

"But I do like you Courtney" Frosti said lamely, "Remember how much fun we had in China?"

"Stop playing all innocent" Courtney snapped, "You can't stand me now and you probably couldn't stand me than, it was an act the entire time."

"I was completely dreading this" Frosti said in a confessional, "Courtney has finally stopped icing me and now she's being an uber bitch. I seriously need to get away from her."

Meanwhile Erick was busy using the shelter to hide from Jaime. "I'm not good at saying no to people" He said in a confessional, "especially not people like Jaime, so I decided to come into the shelter and practice. Pathetic? I know. But you never know it might work."

He cleared his throat. "No Jaime!" He said, playing around with the words, "Jaime No. NO Jaime, Jaime NO, No JAIME, JAIME No, NO JAIME, JAIME NO, NO, NO, NO JAIME! N, O Jaime, you know what that spells, NO!!!!" He suddenly realized someone else was entering the shelter and turned around.

"Whoa Sorry man!" Frosti said, "Didn't know you were in here, do you usually talk to yourself?" He couldn't help smirking a bit. Erick blushed furiously. "I was just um…………….I was practicing saying no to Jaime okay?" He spat out. "She said she wanted to take it to the next level with me, which I think means having sex, I said I'd take that up with her but, I'm not ready to give up my virginity."

"Wow!" Frosti said, "That's pretty serious man, here's what we'll do, I'll pretend I'm Jaime." Erick nodded, "Okay here goes" Frosti said, "Hey Erick" He said with a mock southern accent, "Do you want to have SEX?" Erick bit down on his lip. "Um, Sure!" He said lamely. Frosti slapped his head with his hand. "Don't feel bad" Frosti said, "Women can be impossible sometimes, you know why I came in here? Because I seriously needed to get away from Courtney."

"I don't blame you" Erick said.

"Mind if I join you two?" Dave asked coming into the shelter. "Wow that Pieh Gee is soooooooooooooooooooo, annoying, let me tell you guys something she hasn't changed one bit since China" He sat down next to Erick and Frosti, "I just wanted to get away from her."

"Yeah?" Erick said, "I wanted to get away from Jaime, she um" He blushed furiously. "She wants his virginity." Frosti said nonchalantly. "Well tell her she can't have it" Dave said. Erick bit his lip, "I kind of already agreed to it." "Well that's a problem" Dave said, he turned to Frosti, "Let me guess" He said, "You're hiding from Courtney right?" "Guilty!" Frosti said quietly. Dave clapped his hands in slow motion, "Will you take a look at us?" He said, "Hiding from the girls, we should be ashamed of our selves."

The conversation was interrupted by loud foot steps followed by Jaime's voice approaching the shelter. Erick tried hiding even further. "Anyone in here?" Jaime asked.

Dave pat Erick on the back. "Let me handle this!" He said. He marched right up to Jaime, "Jaime!" He said "You need to leave Erick alone, his virginity is very important to him, and you have no right to take it." Erick blushed furiously, "You got that?" Dave asked firmly gripping her by the shoulder. Jaime gasped, and jerked away. "What the fuck is your problem you creep?" Jaime shouted, "The only reason I came in here was to tell you we have tree mail."

"Ooooooh" Dave said, "Tree mail of course" He turned to Erick, "See that went well don't you think?" Erick was too embarrassed to say anything.

"Dave is such a creep!" Jaime said to Erick, "You don't like him do you?"

"Yeah" Erick said. "Oh you do?" She asked in disbelief. "Yeah he's cool" Erick said, Jaime shook her head, "No." She said huffily, "I beg to differ." "We got everyone" Jaime called out to the rest of the group. Frosti smiled lamely at Courtney who returned it with an icy glare.

"We have our first immunity challenge" Jaime read, "It says we are to complete an Aztec puzzle,"

"Puzzles SUCK!" Courtney sulked. "Just because you were chosen last" Pieh Gee said, "doesn't mean puzzle's suck, you're going to have to get over it sometime you know"

"Welcome to your first immunity challenge, Jeff said as the tribes met, for the first challenge you are to put together a puzzle, this challenge also requires a lot of exercise." A lot of people groaned. "Once again you are to run up and down the Aztec pyramid where you will collect puzzle pieces. Two people from your tribe will be waiting at the bottom, those people will put the puzzle pieces together, the tribe that completes the puzzle first wins immunity, the tribe that loses, tribal council, for Perez we have Yauman and Wanda working on the puzzle, and for Sanchez we have Todd and Dolly working on the puzzle, the rest of you, on your marks get set, GO!!" (Perez wins) "Congratulations Perez" Jeff said as he handed them their first immunity," Sanchez," He said, "I've got nothing for you guys, head on back to camp and I'll see you tonight at Tribal council."

"I'm not at all disappointed that we lost" Stacy said in a confessional, "In fact it was like a complete given that we were going to lose." She smiled at the camera, "Ashley, is going to be the first to go." She said. Stacy was not at all happy about what she saw next, Ashley was animatedly talking to the rest of the group about her lock jaw. "Oh my god" Stacy said in a confessional "Pathetic. Just look at everyone, they're eating up every word of it. "

"Wow! Ashley" She heard Osten say, "Did you die?" "Yes Osten" Ashley said, "That's why I'm here isn't it." "Huh?" Osten asked. "I don't get it. "Hey Osten" Ashley asked, "Do you know sarcasm?" "Not personally" Osten said stupidly. "Yeah Obviously not" Ashley said rolling her eyes.

Stacy came over to join the group, "You guys do realize that she's making the whole thing up don't you?" she asked.

"I don't know" Dolly said, "It sounded pretty convincing, and besides why would she want to make something like that up?"

"Duh! What are you people stupid or something?" Stacy asked, slapping her head with her hand.

"Hey!" Osten said, "That really hurt my feelings ya know, I can't not help it if I'm stupid."

"I for one am NOT stupid" Todd said in a confessional, "I didn't believe one word of her story, but the girl's got strategy, and you have to give her credit for that. On the other hand I wouldn't mind seeing her go home tonight" He gave an angry sigh, "But there are a lot of other people on this tribe, who I would REALLY like to see go home tonight" He counted on his fingers. "Stacy," He said, "What the fuck is she hiding up her ass? Wow! Bitch, Bitch, BITCH!!!!" And Osten, he has absolutely nothing going on for him, no strategy, no brains, no skill, hell, he didn't even have a good reason for returning in the first place. Let's see" He continued, "Who else? Brady, seems to think he's better then everyone else, for no reason, at least I have a reason to think I'm better than everyone else, at least I made a million dollars, Brady you were the 5^th boot in your previous season so STFU!!!" Todd smiled wickedly at the camera, "Let's see who else would be a good choice to go? Oh yes Dolly, she might be a good person and everything but she is such a DITZ, and might I add a ditz who was only 2^nd boot. James" He continued, "I couldn't stand him in China, and I can absolutely not stand him now!" Todd continued smiling wickedly at the camera. "I can't decide who I want to send home tonight, all of them seem like such good choices."

What Todd didn't know was that not far away he was about to be made a target.

"Todd is getting so cocky" Dolly said in a confessional, "That he wouldn't even try to help me with the puzzle; in fact he didn't help at all, unless you call criticizing me for not being able to do something so 'easy' and calling me an idiot whenever I got something wrong helping." %*@%@ of humiliation trickled down her cheeks.

"Dolly?" She felt someone tapping her on the shoulder. "You okay?" Brady asked.

"I saw how Todd was treating her in the challenge," Brady said in a confessional "and it was not acceptable, I don't want to get all corny and sentimental or anything here, but Dolly's like a little sister to me, and if anyone does anything to make her upset, they're going to pay."

Dolly wiped her eyes with her hands. "Yeah" She said, "I'm just kind of emotional."

"If it's about Todd," Brady said, "I'll get back at him for you."

"Don't do that" Dolly said laughing through her %*@%@. "But I do think he deserves to go home tonight." She said, "He has some of the best strategy out here, and might sneak himself into the final two."

"I don't know what Todd was talking about when he kept calling Dolly stupid. The only reason why she kept messing up was because Todd was making her feel inadequate, it's happens a lot on survivor, when people are expected to mess up, they mess up, you'd think Todd, being a number one Survivor fan, who knows everything there is to know about the game would know that. It should be like I don't know a give away for him. And you'd think it would have occurred to him that two people were supposed to work on the puzzle."

"He's getting my vote" Brady said to Dolly, "We just need more people on our side" and Todd is going home, Home, HOME!!!"

Soon enough Brady and Dolly had gathered up all the other member's of Sanchez, except for Todd. "So" Brady was saying, "Dolly and I decided, that Todd should go home tonight."

"Otherwise," Dolly said, "He might sneak his way into the final two."

"You know something?" Lesley said, "I used to really admire the kid, but so far he's been nothing but a huge disappointment, I wouldn't mind voting him out either."

"Anyone else?" Dolly asked shyly. "I thought it was really mean of him to humiliate you like that at the challenge." Ashley said, "Stacy agrees with me, don't you Stacy" She hugged Stacy close. Stacy moved away and swore under her breath.

"It appears that Brady and Dolly advised this big meeting thing" Todd said in a confessional, "And did they include me? Oh no they most certainly did not" He grinded his teeth.

"It's seriously pissing me off, that they're all having a meeting and I'm not included, I'm not stupid, I know their planning on voting me out and I'm going to put a stop to it."

"Hold it right there!" Todd snapped. The group turned around immediately. "I know all of you are about to vote me out, but I'll tell you what, Jeff said being a winner I'd either be an early boot or a valuable player, and if I'm a valuable player, then voting me out tonight is going to be the biggest mistake anyone's ever made in this game."

Lesley smirked loudly. "Todd," She said, "Do you really seriously think you're a valuable player?"

"Well look around!" Todd snapped, "Look at all of you pre merge boots, sorry Lesley, you could have had great potential." Lesley rolled her eyes. "Worthless players like Osten." He said continuing to dis the other players, "Am I not more valuable than any of you guys? Don't answer that that's a rhetorical question." "You are such a piece of work Todd Herzog" Lesley snapped, "I thought I was able to put aside the fact that we have different beliefs, because you were such a cool person, but now I come to realize that you are not even that cool of a person, I don't like anything about you." Todd's eyes filled with %*@%@. "I was the one who chose you!" He spat out, "But that was only because no one else would want a freak like you on their tribe."

Lesley burst into %*@%@. "Go to hell" She snapped. Todd stomped off.

"I've finally decided who I'm voting for." Todd said in a confessional, "And that person is Lesley, "I invited her to be on this tribe, and now I'm uninviting her."

Welcome to Tribal Council. Jeff said as the tribe entered the council area. Todd didn't appear the least bit concerned about going home; in fact he hadn't wiped the cocky look off his face. Right then and there he had planned to turn everyone against Lesley.

"So" Jeff said, "How have things been going at camp?" Todd burst into fake %*@%@. Greg rolled his eyes, "Fake crying?" He said, "Oh Puh lease that was my thing he totally stole that from me." Todd continued and pointed at Lesley, "She, she was really mean to me." He said, "She told me to go to hell. And after I was nice enough to chose her. She's a poison to our camp." Jeff just sat there looking amused. Todd stopped his act at once and blushed furiously, realizing he hadn't planned out anything.

"I am not the villain here." Lesley snapped, "Nice try Todd, kudos at your attempt to turn everyone against me, but you're the real poison." Bitter %*@%@ rolled down her cheeks. "I respected this kid, I totally admired him" She said, "And now, I have no reason why, I am guilty, I did tell him to go to hell, but believe me Jeff, I had every single reason to do so. Hell is where he belongs." For the first time in his life Todd was at a complete loss for words.

"Uh" He managed to get out, "Don't listen to her Jeff" He said. Jeff completely ignored Todd, "It's time to get to voting" He said, Ashley you're up.

As soon as each castaway wrote down their votes Jeff read them out loud. "Alright first vote………………………………."

Todd

Ashley one vote Ashley one vote Todd

Lesley one vote Lesley one vote Ashley, one vote Todd

Todd

Todd

Todd

Todd - 5 votes Todd, that's enough to hand in your torch.

"Wait, wait" Todd said "What?" Are you sure?" "I'm sure" Jeff said, "It's time for you to hand in the torch, this should be an all new experience for you."

Todd didn't budge. He just sat there with his arms crossed, "They can't vote me out Jeff, I'm a valuable player, you said so you're self." Jeff looked puzzled. "You did" Todd protested, "You said; either I'd be an early threat or a valuable player." Jeff looked like he finally understood. "Ooooooh" He said, "I think you misunderstood me, when I said that I mean EITHER you'd be an early threat OR you'd be a valuable player, very rarely is a former winner a valuable player, especially not if he behaves anything like you." Todd's eyes filled with %*@%@.

"Todd" Jeff said, "I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but the tribe has spoken it's time for you to hand in your torch."

Todd sulkily walked forward carrying his torch. "Wow" Jeff said as Todd left the council area, "That took a bit longer than it had to, you are now down to 8 members, and you will soon find out, is it a mistake to vote out a former winner? You may all head back to camp and I'll see you next time."

Votes

Brady - Todd

Stacy - Ashley

Todd - Lesley

Lesley - Todd

Dolly - Todd

Ashley - Todd

Osten - Tod

Greg - Todd

James - Todd

Ouch! That was really mean! If you don't like it don't read it.

Episode two - "Life isn't always fair"

Previously on Survivor: Eighteen returning players began an exciting new adventure in Mexico. The players were given a short time to get to know one another. Wanda, the contestant from Palau who was not chosen, decided to take charge, and get every one acquainted with one another. Everyone seemed to be actively participating in the activity except for Stacy. Wanda became upset with her and forced her to introduce herself to everyone, fortunately Stacy's chance was interrupted by tree mail, about the first challenge and tribe pick ums. At the challenge, James, and Jaime won and became the captains of the tribes, Sanchez and Perez. The Perez tribe was sent to canoe over to their camp, while the Sanchez tribe stayed at their original site. At Sanchez, Osten decided it was an honor to be on a tribe, (Even though he wasn't chosen, and he would have ended up on a tribe anyway) and decided this time around he'd make an effort to help around the camp. Todd, the snotty winner of Survivor China gave him an overwhelming amount of tasks to help around the camp, and Osten lost all his enthusiasm. As the Perez tribe was paddling to their campsite, Courtney was in a horrible mood, not only was she chosen last on her tribe, but Frosti, who she had a great relationship with in China, picked Wanda over her. Courtney was so upset that she refused to help the tribe paddle to camp, and when they got to camp she refused to help out. At Sanchez Todd was surprisingly unconcerned about his place in the game, being told that he would either be an early threat or a valuable player, he somehow got this weird delusion that he was a valuable player. Meanwhile, Ashley took an interest in Stacy and said she would stop at nothing to form an alliance with her ["No one know's the first thing about her, and I'm dying to be the first to find out who she is. I know what I want out here and that is to form an alliance with Stacy, and I will stop at nothing."-Ashley (Confessional)] At Perez, Courtney was finally speaking to Frosti, but she was furious with him. Frosti couldn't take it and tried to escape from her.

For the first immunity challenge, the tribes were to put together an Aztec puzzle; Sanchez lost miserably and were told they had their first date to tribal council. Dolly and Brady advised a plan to get rid of Todd, because he was being obnoxious at the challenge, and because he was a former winner. Todd expected he could turn the game around by turning everyone against Lesley, but his plan failed and he became the first person voted out of Survivor Mexico. Seventeen are left who will be voted out tonight?

Theme song order: Sanchez: Brady, Todd, Stacy, Lesley, Dolly, Osten, Ashley, James, Greg, Perez Jaime, Pieh Gee, Erick, Courtney, Frosti, Dave, Wanda, Yauman, Christa

As Sanchez headed back to camp none of them were in a much better mood. Especially not Ashley "I couldn't believe someone wrote my name down" Ashley said in a confessional, "What the hell did I do? It just came as such a surprise; I mean everyone seemed to like me." Ashley thought for a moment. "Stacy" She said bitterly. "She wanted me gone the whole time I just know it."

"Stacy why did you vote for me?" Ashley just about shouted. "Omigod" Stacy said, "It's none of your business" She turned around and continued walking. "No seriously" Ashley said "Why? That really hurt my feelings, it really did." Stacy sighed heavily, and said nothing.

"I really do not feel like talking to her" Stacy said in a confessional, "She's such a nosy bitch, I know I've said this before, but I really wish she still had that lock jaw that made her such a god damn fucking inspiration." Stacy clenched her teeth in anger. "Now I'm going to keep having to listen to, 'want to talk about the time I got lock jaw?' and 'want to talk about my lock jaw with me?' I never want to hear about her lock jaw ever again."

Ashley gave her a syrupy smile, "You just voted me out because I was sick, and you didn't think it would be fair for me to have to stick around." "Yes" Stacy said, "That's exactly why, how ever did you guess?" She threw her arms around Stacy. "You are so sweet" She gushed. "Okay!" Stacy said in a confessional, "Now I REALLY wish she was still mad at me. And still had HER lock jaw" "