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Hello gang!

Todd and I are really still friends, always were. Leslie's like my mom, seriously, we talk alot and Frosti - when he's not busy being a ninja in Austraila - and I are good friends too. Most others too but we're all so spread out it's kinda hard to really keep in touch that much. Mostly it's me and the ex flight attendant.

I did get asked if I was interested in doing all stars (I'm with Todd in beleiving it was originally suposed to be a full all stars, not a "half ass" but I don't really know anything) but it was so quick after China that I ended up saying no. There were several reasons that lead to my decision, a few examples? - I was pretty all set with being outside. The phrase "SURVIVORS READY!" still chills me to the bones. I felt totally rushed and unprepared to face vets, you can only play the "I have no idea what I'm doing so no one take me seriously" card once. Since they'd asked me to come back the other players would have known something was up with the snarky blonde bitch. And I was still pretty messed up physically and STILL hadn't watched any Survivor except a few episodes of PI - which for the record is how I knew JFP. The haters are right I wasn't a secret fan, boo me. So I declined the invite, but it was really nice to be asked. I was really surprised and happy.

That being said, I'm excited for Half Ass and I like the Ice Cream Scooper kid. Awesome. He better be good!

I never seriously wanted to vote off Todd. I think he's being nice saying I'd have won because who knows. Amanda might have been more confident in from of the jury without him there (he really bugged her for some reason) Next to me and Denise - she'd have been the only "strategic" player left, with the betrayal of Todd added to her two consecutive immunities. She'd prob have won and I might have gotten nothing between the strategic player and the sympathy vote. By going against Todd and Amanda I figured I had a shot of votes getting split between the two players who'd played the exact same game, one viewed as the "good" one, the other the "evil" one, and I'd be the opt out vote for the bitter Todd/Amanda roadkill on the bench. You only needed 3 to win. I thought this was my best option. And a level playing field was a good thing too I figured. Take the whole sympathy/deserving thing right out of the equation, three young single people playing a game, all in the same clique, all in the majority alliance. It was fair. I had no idea that Amanda would have been hated on so much by the jury going in so I thought taking her main competition (Todd) out of the the running would be handing her the game. God this was a while ago... Sorry if I'm unclear. But anyway I also liked Todd and Amanda best, and I thought it was the fairest fight for all three of us, we all worked together from the begining, esp me and Todd, and I really thought he deserved his chance to fight in front of the jury. He helped me in the begining of the game and I wanted to pay him back.

Also - being completly lame for a minute - thank you all here at Sucks for getting my humor through out the season. I "lurked" here through the season - we all pretty much do whether people admit it or not - and fully enjoyed all of it. I love uncharitable thoughts and people.