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 NlGHTCRAWLER |
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Posts: 15775 (05/16/08 7:47 PM) Registered user |
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beatles20147 |
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Posts: 11570 (05/16/08 9:29 PM) Registered User |
Dear Alexis,
My parents caught my brother "Jim" having sex with a pie. Now whenever I see him I can't get that awkward image out of my head. What should I do? 
This question is obviously a prank. I've seen that movie. Please show some courtesy and stop sending these joke questions, which waste my time and prevent me from helping out the girls who really need it.  Dear Alexis, I haven't had my period in a while and I think I might be pregnant. I'm embarrassed to tell my parents but I know I can't hide this from them. What should I do?
This question is obviously a prank. I've seen that movie. Please show some courtesy and stop sending these joke questions, which waste my time and prevent me from helping out the girls who really need it. |
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NlGHTCRAWLER |
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Posts: 15778 (05/16/08 10:01 PM) Registered user |
Dear Alexis: My pet cat died earlier today. I am in total shock. Will I ever get over this?
This question is obviously a prank. I've seen that movie. Please show some courtesy and stop sending these joke questions, which waste my time and prevent me from helping out the girls who really need it. Also, if your cat did die, shoot it in the head lest it come back as a zombie.
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Zesty66 |
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Posts: 460 (05/16/08 10:14 PM) |
Dear Alexis: Hi, this is Jim and I am in serious trouble. There is a man in my house killing all my family. He has already shot my parents and my
sister is hiding in the bathroom but I think she may be dead too. I am in her room and this website was open and it's my only means of communication.
Please call the Police! HELP!!!
Sorry this is girls only!
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snalpoacks |
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Posts: 641 (05/16/08 10:15 PM) |
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NickF227 |
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Posts: 2653 (05/16/08 10:51 PM) |
Zesty66 wrote: Is it bad that I laughed so hard at that?
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Paris Hilton |
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Posts: 2356 (05/16/08 11:03 PM) Registered user |
That was the funniest one yet!
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NlGHTCRAWLER |
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Posts: 15780 (05/16/08 11:37 PM) Registered user |
Dear Alexis: How is your relationship with Natalie Bolton, and how do you feel about her getting more airtime than you? In
fact, Jason's fake Immunity Idol got more airtime. I'm not trying to be rude, but I hardly think that constitutes as being a "star". How do
you justify running a subscription website service and using your 4 minutes of screentime as a method to get helpless little girls to join? Do you not think
that little girls need advice from people who aren't money-grubbing mactors? Is this the message that you want to send to our future generation? That in
order for them to be popular, they have to have 4.2 minutes of screentime on a reality show, and then charge for advice that they could get from Barbie.com for
free? I just don't get it. After all of your role model jargon on the finale' episode, I would hope that you would try to be one. Please change your
ways! You could be a great role model! Don't charge little girls for advice!! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
Whatever.
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platinumtlc |
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Posts: 2981 (05/17/08 12:42 AM) Registered User |
Zesty66 wrote: WINNER! LOL!!!!!
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Riliss |
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Posts: 3743 (05/17/08 4:37 AM) Registered User |
Dear Alexis: Hey there. I've got to be honest - I totally love you. In fact, the other day, my partner and I were in line
at PigglyWiggly (we needed a few Summer's Eve products after a poorly scheduled taco/strap-on night) when she remarked that if she had to choose just one
overweight-but-doesn't-know-it young womyn (wyman?) who won't get the fuck off my television screen to take home and sodomize, it'd be you.
You're probably thinking that I chose you because you've got more available free time than most wymyn your age, but the truth is just that you
obviously need a self-esteem boost badly enough to make for a fantastic victim. This brings me to my question. I'm looking for new and creative ways to
lure young girls onto my ranch. Back when I myself was THAT GIRL on tv, I had more than enough money to buy, brand, and break my little young things. We'd
sit around and listen to me write for days on end. Enough lamenting, though, this is where you come in. See, I can tell by your cute headbands and lack of
rational thinking that you would love to spend the weekend at my ranch. In exchange, I can empower you the entire time, and as a former jailhouse catcher, I
know you want to switch it up and accept my offer. So head on down (that's what we all-timers call a hootin' joke!)
OMG SCOUT! I will TOTALLY be over there on thursday (nothing to do now  )
Reaching for omnisexuality, 
Last Edited By: Riliss
05/17/08 4:39 AM.
Edited 1 times.
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NlGHTCRAWLER |
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Posts: 15786 (05/17/08 9:22 AM) Registered user |
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PulaBear |
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Posts: 30 (05/17/08 10:52 AM) |
MyChemicalShowmance wrote: LOL! |
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MyChemicalShowmance |
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Posts: 482 (05/17/08 11:32 AM) |
Dear Alexis: I'm doing my algebra homework assignment and they want me to solve for x:
x^2 + 3x - 4 = 0 I just don't know what to do. Usually my older brother does my homework but he's stoned right now watching Arrested Development reruns in my stepdad's basement. I'd try using my calculator, but I purchased it from your website, and it is missing a 4 and a 5 button. Wikipedia doesn't help either. Can you help me?
This totally reminds me of the time I "climbed" Mount Everest. I walked a whole 3,000 feet from the starting line and reached an elevation of 27 ft. above sea level, but it was terrifying!! But I stayed strong and brave! My point is, you need to believe in yourself! Who cares if you can't do math. The important question is: how do you feel about yourself? Secondly, there are lots of problems with your question. You said your brother usually helps you, but he's at your stepdad's house, and you're doing math homework. So typical of a male-dominated society. It's been proven that men are better at math. You need to stick what you'll be good at as a girl - so instead, I urge you to stick with English and Literature. I used to watch every episode of Reading Rainbow as a young girl, and it made me strong and brave and confident. Think... if you keep at it, someday you can be like me!! Math sucks. <333333 :)))))
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NickF227 |
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Posts: 2661 (05/17/08 12:09 PM) |
x=4/3
I think. I'd type one of these up but I'm not feeling to creative right now.
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Seven Inch Gaboner |
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Posts: 43 (05/17/08 12:15 PM) |
Thanks for the update! I'll still be here when you're ready.
... |
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NickF227 |
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Posts: 2663 (05/17/08 12:19 PM) |
Dear Alexis: The other day this guy called 'Seven Inch Gaboner' came over and poked me, and then some white stuff came
out of him. Now I'm fat.
What's wrong?
  
congrats! you aren't a virgin anymore. subscribe and i'll give you wonderful tips on how to use wire hangars to end your 'fat' problem!
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TW After Life |
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Posts: 667 (05/17/08 12:22 PM) |
NickF227 wrote: lol, no. x = 1 or x = -4 yw!
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NickF227 |
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Posts: 2664 (05/17/08 12:27 PM) |
TW After Life wrote: Oh yeah it's one of those factor thingies. Oops.
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NlGHTCRAWLER |
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Posts: 15789 (05/17/08 12:31 PM) Registered user |
Ew @ wire hangers and "fat" problem!!
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Seven Inch Gaboner |
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Posts: 47 (05/17/08 12:38 PM) |
NickF227 wrote: lmao |
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