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Maybe Heidi thought you could get knocked up from anal/oral..

What I love is Hills years are like Dog years.. when they constantly throw out "I have known you a long time.. we have known each other for like forever" and what that apparently means is that they met three hours sooner than the previous person they met.

Case in point.. Heidi and Audrina.. that was an "arranged" meet the girls never knew each other before but Heidi acts as if she and Audrina were friends months/years/decades before and hence her "relationship" has more significance than hers with Lauren.. and even Heidi's "friendship" with Lauren wasn't until they met apparently at design school in San Francisco where Lauren tanked after three months.. so how good a friends were they? I understand Lauren and Lo's that is from High School and for 20 somethings that is OLD... but these people know each other for the requisite 15 minutes and have now been FRIENDS FOR YEARSSSSSS......

Lauren can't even find a date outside of the incest circle.. they all have to date each other... this is fucking LA people not Backwater Kansas...

I watched an episode where Lauren did the fashion show and caught Jason making out with his old g/f and Heidi was a model in the show.. she introduced Heidi there as someone she met at Fashion School in San Francisco and came to "live with" her parents.. but Heidi was not as I understand a Laguna person.. she became that at Lauren's request or forced herself on the family in some way... as I watched a marathon of this shit this weekend which explained the "relationships"

Wow another exciting episode to only further remind me of how pathetic and empty my life is..

Let's see...

She of the paper bag personality met the Prom King and giggled and asked him for a date to the prom there was much giggling and requests to ditch class but she of the paperbag personality loves to go to school and class is fun so the Prom King will not be getting a nooner today.. hand job alone anyone?

Meanwhile at another 'workplace' She of the Dead Eyes shared with a dark haired devil her loathing of the she bitch and war was declared between the blondies and the brunettes.

Meanwhile the Sister of he who shall not be named was having a birthday and some fantabulous club and asked she of the paper bag personalty to come and bring her roommate the she bitch as he who shall not be named she who is as plastic as a big wheel and been ridden just as much would not be there.

At the place of employment the she who is some co-worker of she of the paper bag personality gossiped and pretended to be friends for the camera but in reality is managing to make the fake job into a real one or that she of the nasty bitch persona was paid off significantly by mtv to give the co-worker more responsibility despite the fact that the co-worker has no education or demonstrative skills commensurate with a real job

Meanwhile back at the fantastic bash of the sister of he who shall not be named is off to fantastic start as the she bitch and she of the dead eyes attempt to communicate with marginal words and blank stares.. a communication style being studied and analyzed by linguists as a newer and advanced form of alien communication

Of course the brother or he who shall not be named and his girlfriend the plastic big wheel arrive.

The future potential past boyfriend the prom king has already established his court of jesters and they are also there.. ironically, convienently or coincidentally the court is the son of the Olympic Decathalete who is now a plastic surgery don't and his other posse dude who is underemployed as well.. the jesters leave citing drama leaving the prom king to remain to protect his princess she of the paper bag personality who decides to also leave.

Much hoopla continues with apologizes and threats all around and citing that no one likes anyone in the Hills.... it seems DRAMA is the watchword for the Hills and by drama we mean created, scripted words given to those not smart enough to actually devise words and language and put them together in cohesive sentences to express original thoughts.