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Honestly, who gives a shit if he was recruited? Applicants can suck too.

3. Randy Bailey (Survivor: Gabon - 8th Place)

And now we have not only the first Gabon castaway to make my top fifty, but Ruthless Randy even managed to crack my top five. Now, I know most of Sucks HATES Kota because of how boring they were and how arrogant they've been in confessionals, but honestly, I think they have every right to be. Aside from that second swap, I think they were in perfect position to win the entire game, hands down. But let's not argue about that, even though I know we will. This is Randy's write-up, and now that he's in my top three, I think he deserves to be done justice.

When I first read Randy's bio on the website, I thought I was going to hate him because he was just going to be an asshole and a bully. But then the first episode came around and it took hardly any time at all for Randy to grow in my heart. Whether Sucks wants to admit it or not, Fang was a complete fuck-up tribe during the early and middle part of the game. They couldn't do anything right at all, and Randy was the only person on his tribe who would say this to us and tell us what we were all thinking. He called out GC for being a shitty leader, which he was, and he called out the rest of his tribe for being fucking retarded, which they were. The whole time though, he played nice to peoples' faces and stayed under the radar as best he could, although he did make a point of telling his tribe that they needed to stop being such fucking pigs about the rice. In episode four, he even got a four-person alliance together that could've held the power in the game.

Then the swap happened and Randy, having been ranked third most important on his tribe, behind the two strongest guys, wound up in the minority on Kota. There, he got into the good graces of the ruling Onions and even managed to overtake Bob for the fourth spot in their alliance. So despite a swap putting him in a bad position, Randy worked on it and got himself back into a good one. Of course, then Kota got screwed by a second tribe swap that took out Randy's ally, Marcus, and left him in a numerical minority. As a result, he was pretty much screwed because the people he hated and who hated him made up the majority.

I liked Randy for a variety of reasons. For one, he almost always had one moment in each episode where he just gave a laugh-out-loud quote or something of the sort. For two, on the first day he injured his head and needed stitches, yet he fought on and never gave up. He was a strategic player and a smart one at that, and he made a lot of the best moves he could possibly make, given the situations he found himself in. Randy also proved to be quite the challenge threat, scoring a hat trick in water lacrosse, football catching fruit, and the one of the best moments of the season, where he completely fucked with Ace's head and got hi to cost his tribe the win. Randy was bombastic and obnoxious, but in a funny, Judd-like way. And despite being an asshole, like Judd could be, Randy was a strategic player and a smart one at that. Plus, Randy was a real fan of the show and applied many times just because he wanted to play. That's a good attitude to have in the game of Survivor. Towards the end of his run, it became apparent that Randy couldn't win, so at least he went out with a bang in one of the best and funniest episodes of the season.

Even though Randy is an asshole, I can really understand where he's coming from. I mean, I'm really anti-social myself, and I can't stand talking to certain people, so I can definitely understand him developing a strong dislike towards the other players out there. Plus, he's the way he is because he's a loner and an outcast, and I know that that sort of persona can make you feel bitter and hateful towards others. But on the inside, Randy is really a sweet person, and it's sad to know that he lost his dog, because that's tough to deal with, even if you're not a big animal lover. Also, I love the fact that Randy has the second funniest hair of the season (behind Bob). And last but not least, I love the fact that, in his interviews, Randy was able to make fun of Sugar's poor quality of marriage. He's definitely destined to be a Suckster.

So with that, Randy becomes the highest ranking male on my list, and he deserves it, definitely.