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Sorry about the delay, everyone! I'm too tired to reply to the individual comments from in between right now, but I'll probably cover some tomorrow. I was planning on doing #4-2 and then #1 the next night but I figured it was a long enough delay, so here we go with the entire top four...

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4. Joel Klug
Borneo - 11^th place

Joel Klug was the sole inspiration for this list. When I was thinking up what kind of countdown I could do that hasn't been done to death already, I went through a list of players and only had to go through six before it became clear to me that a list of underrated characters was the way to go. So you can thank/blame Joel for all this. The only time you hear Joel's name brought up these days is when people lament how "predictable" Borneo is, and how much better the season would have been if he had made the merge. And surely it would have been more competitive, because Joel was indeed the prime alliance supporter on Pagong, but it would have robbed us of his boot episode, the first truly great episode in the young show's history. Besides, there's no reason to expect that the post-merge would have gone down any differently, and had the game played out in the same way with just the tribes swapped, "Tagi'd" just doesn't sound as good as "Pagonged" to describe a tribe systematically voted out.

Joel admittedly wasn't that big a presence during his short stay in Borneo. But the cocky alpha male ("Captain America" as Colleen once called him) was definitely a fun character, earning the wrath of his female tribemates who felt he was condescending to them. In one of my all-time favorite confessionals (I know I say that a lot, but trust me, I don't have a huge list of them--although that would actually be an awesome idea for a countdown, maybe next offseason!), Joel makes a comment about what the girls think of him, adding, "But I am not a chauvinist." After a slight pause, he lets out a guilty smirk. But of course, what immediately comes to mind when you're talking about Joel is also one of the most controversial moments of the first season. Joel's best friend in the game was Gervase (who he still keeps in touch with). At some point during the filming of the sixth episode, Gervase made an off-camera remark along the lines of "Girls are the stupidest thing on the planet next to cows." It was clearly a joke made for shock value; and Gervase had no difficulty charming his way out of it. But his buddy Joel's amusement over the comment, coupled with his earlier behavior with the women, clearly rubbed them the wrong way. At Tribal Council, Gervase made another joke about how he may have made the comment, but Joel "lives and breathes it." And I have to say, this is one of the rare occasions where I found myself disappointed with Gervase. Yeah, it was a joke, but his friend was already a dead man walking, so Gervase didn't have to sell him out like that. But what's even more unfortunate is how unkind history has been to Joel Klug and his place in Survivor history. He deserves to be recognized more than the occasional "He should have made the merge" reference.

3. Helen Glover
Thailand - 4^th place

In his post-Vanuatu ranking of the seasons, Jeff Probst commented, "They're going to hate me for saying this, but this final four of Brian, Clay, Helen, and Jan was the least likable final four ever." I never really understood why Jeff chose to lump Helen into that, since I think rooting for her was the sole saving grace for most fans going into the Thailand finale. Besides, Mark Burnett didn't seem to have much of a problem with Helen, singling her out as his favorite character of the season in a CBS.com chat (interestingly enough, she was the only one he listed who didn't make the cut for All-Stars). In a season filled with characters that you mostly disliked (if you had an opinion on them at all), Helen stood out. I'll concede that there may have been a handful of moments during the season where she could be seen as mildly annoying, but like Clay, she just got the short end of the stick by ending up on a season that most viewers would rather forget.

Helen was a very emotional player--not like, batty Jan Gentry emotional, but you always knew how Helen was feeling at any given moment just based on the tone of her voice and the look on her face. I first realized that Helen was going to be awesome in the second episode, when she and Jan wasted hours on a futile search for the water hole. Anyone who spends that much time alone with Jan is bound to be driven to murder, and Helen delivered probably the most dramatic, movie-dialogue worthy quote in Survivor history: "If I had a pistol in my pocket, I would have pulled it out; shot her first, shot me second. That's why I don't carry a gun." (Insert some "one of my favorite confessionals" comment here.) Helen also enjoyed singing, and, well, it's not that she sounded totally unpleasant or anything, but considering her somewhat gravelly speaking voice, she comes closer than any female should to falsetto status. At least it was better than Jerri's "Criminal," which would've caused Fiona Apple to roll over in her grave…you know, if she were dead and all.

But fortunately for viewers, Helen saved the best for last. After being blindsided at the final four, Helen bitterly condemned Brian for lying to her about being safe that night ("so I guess of the three knives in my back, that's the one that smarts the most") and delivered a message for the three remaining players: "Break a leg. And I mean it." That was nothing compared to when she had a chance to tell Clay and especially Brian how she felt to their faces at the final Tribal Council. "We spent 37 days together," she began. "And I had my mind made up week 2 who I was going to vote for. But that got ripped right out of my mind the night I left here. …You promised me it was us three going to the threesome. But neither one of you were man enough to tell me [she was being voted out]. Clay, it doesn't surprise me from you. You lived up to exactly what I thought you were the whole time out there. But Brian? …You are the epitome of the trashy used car salesman." This was followed by the word "Hearsay!" being repeated about 400 times. It's one of the best juror speeches ever, which, knowing me, I'll probably end up getting bored enough to rank someday.

2. Sean Kenniff
Borneo - 5^th place

A lot of people are probably going to say that the way Borneo is praised, it's hard to justify ranking a contestant from that season at #2 (let alone two in the top five), and I don't really have an answer for that. It's definitely a fair argument and I even considered pushing Sean back a few slots for it, but for years I've sat back and watched as people bashed Sean Kenniff, and damn it, I have to stick up for the guy somehow. A while back, there was a topic like "Who ruined each season?" and nearly everybody selected Sean for Borneo, which just completely perplexed me. Ignoring the fact that nobody "ruined" Borneo, Sean was entertaining and likable, and if anyone is to blame for Pagong never standing a chance post-merge, it's Gretchen, but I digress.

As I wrote in my Tribal Council ranking, "When people think of Sean, there are three things they always think of: the fact that he had a nipple ring, his crazy inventions (gotta love that Super Pole 2000), and one of the most perplexing voting strategies in Survivor history--casting his votes purely based on alphabetical order." Based on all that, it's easy to put the dunce cap on Sean and call him a moron but that's what makes him so endearing. This guy is a neurologist, which just makes it all the more funny/frightening that he acts the way he does. I don't really understand why he's bashed so much; he wasn't really stupid, just naïve. It was the first season, people! As goofy as voting alphabetically may have been, at least he had a plan, which is more than can be said for most of the other players.

Anyway, since Super Pole 2000 and the alphabetical voting strategy have been written about to death, I figured I would concentrate on one of my favorite, lesser-remembered Sean moments. No, not his proud announcement that he'd finally had a bowel movement on the island, or his sweet reunion with his father on a yacht, or even his winning pick-up line to a masseuse on said yacht, "My ass as bony as it feels?" No, this one takes place in the penultimate episode of the season. After spending 35 days in complete ignorance of everything that was going on around him, Sean professes with complete sincerity, "All I'm thinking now is win. Do what I have to do. Now I'm in it to win, you know…it's gonna be a lot of work, but I'll get there." He was completely convinced that he had the game in the bag at this point; he has officially decided that he will win the first season of Survivor. About twenty minutes later, Jeff Probst snuffed his torch.

So he may not have been a Survivor mastermind, and Super Pole 2000 may not have won any fishing tournaments. And yes, as Gervase said, "For a smart guy, he has no common sense, no brains in his head, really, when it comes down to it." But when it came to providing comic relief, Dr. Sean was a genius.

1. Clarence Black
Africa - 10^th place

After I'd prepared this entire list and sorted out who would rank where, I thought I had a really groundbreaking yet appropriate choice for most underrated character. But before I started writing, I took a look at Mario Lanza's funny 115 and was pained to see that he had singled out Clarence as the most underrated male character in Survivor history. After the immediate feeling of "Oh man, that sucks," I decided that I wouldn't change my top pick just because Mario has good taste. I still wish I had a more unique selection, but I guess it's reassuring to see that Clarence is definitely entertaining and I'm not just some crazy Africa fanboy. Of course, I am a crazy Africa fanboy, but who said they had to be mutually exclusive?

Clarence deserves credit for being the one person who truly made the Africa premiere worthwhile. Ok, so by the very prospect of existing in the first place, Kelly Goldsmith made it worthwhile too. But Clarence is definitely the star of the episode--I have said in the past that Africa has the best pre-merge of any season, but Clarence and his can kleptomania was really the only highlight of the premiere, and it drives most of the Boran scenes in the second episode too. Remember what I said about Kathy and Matt having great comeback stories? Well Clarence is right there with them. Indeed, because of the cherry incident, Big Tom's first two votes were "reminders" to Clarence that he was on thin ice (which I remember thinking was totally moronic--in the days where past votes could send you home in a tiebreaker, it made no sense to pile them onto a tribemate who would likely be an early target at the merge, especially considering that, unlike the Samburu elders, it was hardly done out of loyalty to an ally or anything like that). By day 10, Tom and Clarence were getting fruit together, and Clarence got to see Tom's "big country ass climbing a tree." By day 21, Tom cast another vote in Clarence's direction, but this time, it was only after letting Clarence know that he liked him and was disappointed that he would be leaving before Brandon. (Most fans speculate that had Clarence remained in the game, by day 29, he and Tom would have had sex.) As Kelly so eloquently put it (she had a habit of doing this, God bless her), "I like Clarence. The kid has really grown on me. I mean, he sense that people were getting rubbed the wrong way by him and he changed his ways. I like him. I think he's friendly; I think he's funny."

There's no arguing that last part. Clarence delivered one of my favorite confessionals of all time (you probably didn't see that coming, did you?) in the fourth episode, after Kim J. single-handedly lost a reward challenge for Boran thanks to her crappy performance. While the rest of the tribe comforted Kim, Clarence wasn't quite as sympathetic. "We all said, 'Good job, you did the best you could,' but you know, really, [she's] like, 'I sucked,' and we're like, 'Yep, you sucked.'" His delivery here couldn't be better. I've always loved that quote. He philosophically continued, "You know, in competition, it's not about giving it your best. Sometimes, sometimes it's about actual…the winning." The immortal Clarence scene, and one that was all too forgotten before it showed up on Mario's Funny 115, was Clarence's burning desire to eat some chicken. This may actually be my favorite scene from the entire season, and you guys know how much I love Africa so that should be saying something. What says even more is the fact that Kelly Goldsmith is not involved in this scene in the slightest, so I almost feel like I need to go to confession for enjoying it so much. Anyway, Clarence declared his aspirations to be "the man's man's food critic." He wasn't interested in reviewing "those fancy French sushi places" (because France and sushi go hand in hand); Clarence was all about the pancakes and fries, and apparently, the chickens. Declaring that one would be eaten if an egg weren't laid by morning, Kim woke up and was excited to find a single egg in the chicken coop. She took so much glee in this that it was almost like payback for what Clarence had said about her two episodes earlier. Upon seeing the egg, Clarence's response was again perfectly delivered: "Aw hell no, come on!" Fortunately, they decided to eat a chicken anyway, and I kind of hope they picked the one that actually laid the egg, just so that Clarence could get the last laugh.

I love Clarence in his final episode too, and even though everything goes down incredibly predictably (at least within the context of that single episode), it's a really nice way to make an exit. He was a total gentleman; he knew his neck was on the line and yet he honored his rock-paper-scissors deal with Teresa, and calmly took the news that he was going home, yet still made a last-ditch effort to stay alive, which nobody seems to remember. Almost all accounts of this episode imply that Clarence just sort of shrugged it off and accepted his fate, but he fought for old Boran to stick together, strategizing with--you guessed it--Big Tom. Honestly, every time I watch one of the first seven episodes of Africa, I find myself liking Clarence more and more. The last I'd heard anything about him was shortly before Cook Islands premiered, when a newspaper asked his opinion on the race twist, and he was pretty disappointed that the show went in that direction. He actually hosts a radio show these days--I've heard a few excerpts, and well…let's just say that he was a lot more entertaining on Survivor. He has the occasional funny quip, but there's a ton of dead air in that he will literally sometimes go for five to ten seconds in complete silence, which doesn't exactly make for a great radio experience. But that's not what we're looking for here; this countdown is all about the contestants' Survivor stints, and from that standpoint, Clarence stands as my official pick for most underrated contestant of all time. Spread the word; let's make sure he doesn't stay this way any longer!

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So that's the list. Whether or not you agreed with it, I hope it was a worthwhile and enjoyable read. Now it's your turn--to praise, to comment, to critique, to bitch about the order and the people who didn't show up. Being that the criteria for what makes a character underrated is pretty subjective, I had to make a few judgment calls and I can say that, while a lot of people were considered and ultimately rejected, the following people in particular just missed out on making the list for one reason or another: Mike Skupin, Carl Bilancione, Teresa Cooper, Peter Harkey, Ghandia Johnson, Jan Gentry, Ryan Aiken, Deena Bennett, Lea Masters, Blake Towsley, Margaret Bobonich, and Sherea Lloyd. Yes, I realize I could have made it a top 50. But then I couldn't defend all those omissions by saying that they "just missed out." Trust me, it makes sense somehow.

I thought you said one of Jaime or Sherea would be on the list? I can't believe Jaime isn't on it, she was underrated for sure.

I did? I know I mentioned that one of them just missed the cut (Sherea obviously) and maybe implied that the other would...I could be wrong though, so if I am, I apologize. Anyway, I sort of have to agree with Kitty on Jaime; I think she's more underrated as a player (thanks to the fake idol) than as a character.

Anyway, the main reason China wasn't represented is because I think the cast as a whole is sort of overrated, and besides Sherea and maybe Dave (who I think tends to be either overrated or underrated depending on the person, which is the reason he ultimately didn't make it), there really weren't any particular individuals who stood out as not getting enough credit. Hell, even Aaron gets mentioned a lot, mostly as a way of saying how well-edited the entire cast of China was when someone with his edit would pretty much be totally forgotten in any other season.

I know I'm one of the very few Clay fans out there, and he is most likely why people hate Thailand as a season.

The Brian/Clay F2 is probably the biggest reason why it's so despised. Not that there aren't other reasons, but a more likable F2 would have at least had the season conclude on a better note for most viewers. To be honest, it definitely took me a while to become a Clay fan but honestly, if you think about it, he may be the closest thing to a member of the audience being on the show if that makes any sense--even if he was a bit curt, he reacted to everything the way the typical viewer was, with all of Jan's craziness or Ghandia going berserk. I love that about him.

Africa had so much potential for awesomeness that just turned into a horrible season the moment Kelly G left.

The episode after her boot ("I've got a date with Frank!") is good, but it definitely goes downhill after that. As much as I defend Africa, the F5 episode is easily the worst episode of the first four seasons.

Deena was so robbed.

Is it any consolation that she probably would have been like #43 or 44? (Margaret was the unlucky #41 in case you're curious)

Helen <333 I don't think she's actually underrated, just on a season that sucked.

I sort of agree that most people seem to consider her a good character when she's brought up, but because she's on such an unpopular season, she rarely gets brought up (that topic in Sucks about her YouTube videos excepted).

Also, you never considered Robb as underrated? Any reason?

I did think of him but he was out of the running pretty early only because one of the big critiques about Thailand is the most entertaining people leaving pre-merge, so in that sense he and Shii Ann are always singled out as good characters. There are probably reasons for just about everyone from Thailand besides Tanya, Stephanie, Shii Ann, Erin, and Brian to be regarded as underrated though.

Helen is probably the least underrated Thailand castaway. Courtney Marit needs attention by this list.

Panama sort of falls under the China category of an overall overrated cast--in fact, don't kill me for this, but the only person besides Bruce and Austin who was even considered was...Danielle.

I agree with a lot of these writeups but disagree at some of the people you consider underrated. But good job!

Thanks! Like I said, whether you agree or not, I hope it was a worthwhile and at least semi-thought-provoking read. What does everyone think of the idea of a best confessionals countdown?