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Doppelganger reporting (Willy2fun is out in the snowstorm doing 'live reports' with the dead)

So, it all starts with THEEEEEEE ANNIVERSARY of Jive Talkin' Hellstrom and Gappy-Toothed Victoria...yes, they are one dull, happy couple. They are talking about how great it is that Noah did not turn into an ice-cube tray.

But, Colleen is getting frantic. She has BLilly over and they are trying to keep her calm. She appreciates them helping out but she can't let this go. It's SO NOT MY DADDY. HE WOULDN'T STAND HIS PRECIOUS GIRLS UP!! HECK GOLLY NO!

*theme music to Y&R...always so lovely and inviting*

Over to Eden getting ripped into by Michael...Jana is there and she's 'the voice of reason' while Mikey yells at Eden. YOU JUST GET INTO MORE AND MORE TROUBLE..FIRST JIM MORRISON'S GRAVE , NOW ICE-SKATING IN THE RED RIDING HOOD WOODS! YOU LISTEN TO LAUREN AND ME!! NOAH COULD HAVE DIED, YOU COULD HAVE DIED...SORRY IF YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND THIS!..oh (he's pissed)

Over to the hospital. Noah is under observation. Red is with Nick....but, Noah's vitals are good. Had his body temperature dropped a couple of degrees..well, SIGN OFF NOAH (Jack thanks God!). Soooooooo, Nick wants to drive up to the cabin...but Red tells him 'the weather!!' and finally says she'll go..or 'even Jack!' Nick tells her that's 'so dumb!' as Sharon hates her and Jack/Sharon are getting a divorce.... and HE IS THE FATHER/SHARON IS THE MOTHER.... RED: "why are you doing this..it's a HORRIBLE IDEA!!"
To the cabin of Sharon 'in heat'... she is going outside to get more wood.... oh COMMERCIAL BREAK for PANTENE SHAMPOO...and Charmin Toilet Paper!!

Colleen won't stand around and do nothing, she's calling the police... as Michael suggest locking Eden in her room as she cannot be trusted and thinks she knows what's best!
Jana will be 'the LISTENER' ini all of this and help Eden understand that 'Michael' is good and Eden is 'good' and they love one another.... (JANA..MY HERO!)
Lauren talks about parenting a teenager and YOU CANNOT PUNISH IN ANGER... it must be reasonable and enforced! She's Mikey's voice of reason.

at the hospital....Jack tells Noah that Eden wanted to see him. He's happy about that! He's thrilled Eden was worried about him. Jack asks more about the accident but all Noah remembers is 'falling in' and being in the hospital. Noah is worried about Sharon being alone...cut to Sharon and the generator acting up again.
Red: "you're not risking your life to do this!"
Nick: "I HAVE TO DO THIS! WHAT HAPPENED TO CASEY, I OWE THIS TO SHARON...YOU EITHER FIGHT ME ON THIS OR SUPPORT ME (bitch)"

Commercial: Jessica Simpson strikes back on E.T. tonight! Come to 'Whistler' for the 2010 OLYMPICS- that's Willy's home! So, come one, come all! and finally....Mother's against Drunk Drivers..( why just mothers..I'm madd too!)
Back to the show:
J.T. gave Victoria chicken mcNuggets for her Anniversary and has a really ugly cake for her and 'paper flowers-first year!'. He's so CLASSY! Victoria gives J.T. 'Jethro Telln'touch' crap too..and they have sex etc...
Colleen cannot get help from the cops as Brad has only been missing a short time. Billy says , 'he'll be fine!' Colleen is going out to look for him and wants them to stay at Brad's in case he calls..AND OFF SHE GOES!
Eden/Jana: Eden spills to Jana about Michael and how angry he is all the time. Jana says 'it's love/fear and that Michael loves her more than she'll ever know"..EDEN , "oh no, I'm just a loser! Every time I do something with Noah, something bad happens!"
Jana tells her, "you're safe, he's safe!" (Lauren gives soothing tea to Michael who tells her it's not working. She tells Michael that Eden just lost her father and the only home she knew! We're all finding our way here and it takes time..she'll shut down if you come down too hard! Michael says he's crappy at parenting a teen.... she snuggles him)

HOWLING WINDS....GRAMAPHONE ON....getting spooked at the cabin with Sharon! Love the jazz music.
Red: "okay, you're right..I'm sorry, I'm sorry..I agree, I agree..but, you stay with NOAH and I'll go! I want to do this for you...or better yet, Jack should do it...it's his cabin"
Back to Nick telling her both shouldn't do it.."SHE NEEDS TO HEAR THIS FROM ME!" Red: "NICK, be careful...I LOVE YOU!"

Commercial promo for 'The Office! ..oh, we love that show! Newscast of starving horses on Global National Coke, Bounce, Pepto Bismo and 'how mean Gangs are' - they are mean!!- back to the show (oh, and I had a ripe pear too)

J.T. / Victoria sucking face and Collen shows up. She's such a 'wannabe'... she's all desperate about Brad and tells them about her plight. She shares her story...and how he hasn't called/responded to anything. Victoria gets it due to 'her father's leaving'... but, Colleen is adament she is going to look for him and nudges J.T. to go with her!

Jana tells Eden you didn't force him to go onto the ice...you're very young and you're bound to make mistakes...I've made BLOODY DOOZIES!'
Eden: "I really like Noah...I want to tell you a secret (on Jana's honor)..Noah is the FIRST BOY I EVER KISSED..he helped me when my father was in jail and left..that's why it's so hard..now we're forbidden to hang out together. I'm afraid they're going to do anything to keep us apart!" Sad Eden, sad Noah..HELPFUL JANA! ;)
Lauren tells Michael he's an AMAZING HUSBAND (even though he's so Gay) and he's compassionate, kind, loving..and she has gay faith in him!

Red to Jack: "Nick's gone up to the cabin to inform Sharon..right this minute... (Jack, "she is his mother") Red: "Oh, thanks , you're a big help. I offered to go, I offered to send you...but NO HE HAD TO GO..IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!"
Red asks Jack to stay with Noah because 'she is going to find her husband!'

Commercial Break!!! YEAH... ATHLETES DISCUSSING WONDER BREAD! LIKE, the worst bread in the world? Now it's about itchy exzema ....'try to rehydrate or ask your pharmacist!' ..okay, it's not funny, it's itchy stuff. Next: overcrowded classes! Febreeze...how to get the stentch out of your pillows!

Billy asks Lily to go to 'their cabin' for VALENTINE'S ...but she's being all virginal again. She wants to know about his naughty side...but he said that would take up a year of the YOUNG & RESTLESS SCRIPT! Oh Billy, you do tickle my funny bones!

Jack tells Red 'the roads are treacherous and she's being PARANOID...they share a SON, YOU CANNOT FIGHT THAT...." Red says, "THE HELL I CAN'T" (oh she's bitchy now!)

Tim Horton Commercials and 'Savings Protection' and ...well, dirty commercial I'd rather not discuss..it's so personal!

Jana/Michael have a talk about Eden: Jana tells Michael 'that he HAS A HEART and EDEN IS A GOOD KID..and YOU ARE A GOOD MAN and I HAVE ALL SORTS OF HOPE FOR YOU!" (she's lovely!!) and they hug..JANA LOVE!
Eden/Lauren rehash the worry M/L had and how hard it was on Michael..he's frustrated because he wants to protect her. Eden says, "what am I supposed to do now?"

Phyllis cannot get through the road to the cabin: "SORRY, IT'S CLOSED!" Yeah..more issues!
Nick arrives at the cabin..Sharon KNOWS something has happened even though Nick plays it down. He tells her Noah was in an accident. Nick starts to explain about the ice/falling in...and Sharon goes , "NO, NOT AGAIN! IT'S A MIRACLE HE DIDN'T FREEZE TO DEATH..I HAVE TO GO TO HIM..I HAVE TO GO NOW!!"
She leaves the candles/fire on..and sensible Nick reminds her 'she should put them out!' He promises Sharon that Noah is 'fine' and hugs her. Awwwww

Commercials: Variety Club Telethon, more Tim Hortons..more toilet paper and shampoo...let's stop the madness!

Michael walks into Eden's room...they stare at each other..."I don't like what you did (after he hugged her first)..but I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU..." Eden snaps and sobs in Michael's arms..."I'M SO SORRRRRRRRY!!" it was a very 'touching scene' although I still cannot stand this Eden!

Red is begging to get through on the road...NO LUCK DARLING!
Ranger comes to cabin and tells Nick/Sharon they cannot go to Genoa...as the roads are impossible to pass...may be able to by morning! YEAH..SEX!
Sharon is scared that something could happen to Noah 'through the night' but Nick PROMISES they will (sex) get through it together (sex)...uh ha!'

..............and , this just in................Willy2Fun is missing but his car was found beside Brads??? hmmm...???