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A Dying Clown |
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I wrote 8/10 of the next batch but the laptop with the write-ups died and hasn't started all day
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survivorisdabest |
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O_O Where did the quick reply function go?
awww i was eager for moar updates |
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A Dying Clown |
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moar updatesokay Fun Fact: I rearranged the order a little, which invalidated one of my spoilers since there's now only one episode repeated here that was in the last batch - sorry. #82 - Pat/Brenda Visit The Wrong Foucault's Pendulum (TAR1, Ep 3)
It's hard to place too much blame on Pat/Brenda for not knowing how to race, since they'd only completed one full leg at this point (by skipping Leg 2 with the Fast Forward). And how were they to know there were two Foucault's Pendulums? Well, I can't blame them for going to wrong the location - but I can blame them for wasting lots of time wandering around it despite the fact that no other teams there were there even though everyone had to be bunched at the entrance (not to mention the face there was an alternative Detour option that would have been much smarter to switch to once they realised they were in the wrong place). I probably would have given them the benefit of the doubt and left them off the list but they also fucked up at the train-station - despite having arrived early enough to take the 1:15 train, they got tickets for a 3pm. And instead of getting on the early train and trying to deal with the consequences, they waited the hour and forty-five minutes, which was enough to get them eliminated. #81 - Only Ken/Gerard Book Taxis (TAR3, Ep 11)
A pretty forgotten moment, but a potentially fatal one. Leaving the Singapore pitstop, Ken/Gerard smartly book a cab under their name to meet them as soon as they left. Derek/Drew, who left ahead of them, attempted to steal it but failed because they're "not good at lying to people" - but Ken/Gerard actually booked two cabs, but both under Ken's name in order to make sure the Wonder Twins wouldn't be able to get ahead of them (which is some of the best moves I've seen in the show, but that'd be a different list...). This resulted in them running off on their own and having to run into a group of Singaporean girls who called a cab on their mobile (and I'm pretty sure the second cab that was meant for Derek/Drew ended up going to Teri/Ian since they found one right outside the hotel). Ken/Gerard's lead gave them a chance to get onto a flight to Kuala Lumpur that evening - luckily for the other teams, there was enough for an airport bunching for everyone to catch up. But the potential damage is enough for it to get a pretty high placement on the 'almost disastrous but inconsequential' part of the list. #80 - Chos & Bama Pussy Out (TAR10, Ep 5)
This Detour was a typical form of what the TWoP recaps called the Tortoise vs. Hare (back in the early seasons when they were good, instead of essays on why Millie should be burnt at the stake and why Boston Rob needs a knighthood). These tasks offer a choice between a scary quick jolt or a harmless but time-consuming task - but since most teams always went for the exhilirating tasks, they've thankfully declined in number, only to make a random reappearance in TAR10. Due to the kind of interesting airport shennanigans totally absent from the last two seasons, the Chos and Bama ended up in India in a respectable 3rd and 4th place, and about the make the choice between Wild Things and Wild Rice.Karlyn's said "I don't wanna wrestle an alligator" and since she was a big coward, they attempted to fill a large kolam pattern with coloured rice. What makes this worse than some of the other Detour switches is that a) The Chos decided to accept Karlyn's fears and go with them to clearly the slower Detour b) They wasted a huge amount of time starting it until they realised it would take forever (I get the irony that I'm complaining about a team attempting a Detour instead of turning back immediately, considering the Kynt/Vyxin entry was about the exact opposite scenario, but that's only because the Detours were clearly weighted differently and this one was obviously going to take a long time). This is about the same place in the ranking you could arguably include 'Flo Wants To Do The Slopes' Detour, though I decided not to include it since at least that Detour did require the teams to face a genuine fear. Not being willing to get within the radius of an animal in a heavily security controlled environment on a national TV show is just dumb. The Wild Rice Detour is also home to another dumb move that just missed out of showing up on the list: David/Mary, despite being in last place, try to somehow catch up with Tyler/James instead of risking the faster alligator task, which I only removed since I couldn't find out how far away from each other the Detours were (though tbh a smart racer should have chosen Wild Things anyway). #79 - Mojo Only Get One Crayfish (TAR9, Ep 9)
The entry on the list I have the least to say about (since I didn't even remember it when I looked over my notes). The least famous of the two "getting only one thing when supposed to get two" incidents, this was a mistake in the Perth Detour that's pretty much explained by the title. This caused them to bleed time that could have led to their elimination, but thankfully the awful Fran/Barry got screwed over by a heroic taxi-driver and Mojo survived long enough to fuel the Hippie drama that culminated the best Final 4 elimination episode ever* (*that wasn't part of TAR1 orTAR3) #78 - Rob Throws Tomatoes (TAR10, Ep 12)
For some reason, every post-Family Edition seemed to have a female racer whose meltdown got compared to Flo. "zomg Monica carrying the swordfish = Flo 2.0.!", "zomg Danielle carrying newspapers = Flo 2.0.!" etc but the most entertaining freakouts came from Kimberly. For most of the time, she was a tough, feisty, loveable driven woman - but her in the proximity of horses and she would freak out. For a while, it was easy to assume that horses were the only thing that could break her down, until we eventually saw her unfavourable reaction to being pelted by tomatoes. While TAR9 is lambasted for its random-luck tasks, they were at least a lot fairer than the TAR10 ones which ranged either from the ridiculously impossible (the salt-shaker one that almost? everyone quit) to the ridiculously easy (the tomatoes). The simplicity of the task guaranteed that the two teams who chose it ended up in first and second - and basically doomed the BQs (whose wise decision to avoid the luck task in Mauritius backfired here) However, it could have easily gone horrible wrong since, due to frustration at having fruit thrown at him, Rob kept throwing tomatoes back in the crowd. Tomatoes which could have very easily contained the winning clues. Once again, Kimberly had the right reaction, which is why she was my favourite person in the Final 8: ROB: "I'm getting hit by tomatoes" KIM: "Well, who cares?" #77 - Kim/Leslie Haggle (TAR1, Ep 2)
I've bitched a lot about how taxis can affect the outcome of the race - this is one of the only taxi incidents that led to an elimination that was entirely avoidable. Despite being right next to the pitstop, instead of settling the bill, Kelly/Christie 1.0. decided it was more important to try to save a couple of francs than to actually finish the leg, so demanded exact change from their driver then kept hasselling him by asking for his name. This led to Nancy/Emily and Lenny/Karyn finishing ahead of them (if editing is to be believed - I To quote them "You know what I'm about to say...we're the dumbest people in America" (which is a funnier statement considering they were in France). And their "That's the stupid tunnel...for stupid people" would have made for a great episode title. In recent seasons, most teams check-in first, then go back to pay their cabbies, which I'd like to think was Kim/Leslie's contribution to racing history. #76 - David/Jeff's Entire Korea Leg (TAR4, Ep 10)
It always makes me sad when a team fucks up so horribly then gets spared by an NEL while stronger teams get eliminated because of taxi-luck (see also Mark/Michael and Christie/Jodi/Mel/Mike) - and this is one of the biggest examples of terrible racing that made absolutely no difference because of the predictable NEL placement of the first 4 seasons. Most people forget how badly the Goats raced here because it's one of the most tedious episodes ever, which is notable only for shots of the Korean border and men in their underwear, neither of which interest me. Anyways, the teams had to travel to a random hole in the ice (and why would anyone hate TAR4 with destinations like that?) somewhere in South Korea. While Kelly/Jon and Reichen/Chimp took their own taxis, Jon/Al and David/Jeff decided to share one - while this saved money, it also bunched them together. This turned out to be fatal, as the upcoming Roadblock was of the 'first come, first served' variety - David/Jeff coming in 3rd and the Clowns last. Despite having obtained a minor lead, do the Goats take the taxi and drive off, giving us a chance to watch the Clowns cry in the middle of a random snowcap? No! So instead of guaranteeing they wouldn't be last, they bleed 15 minutes so they can all get in the same taxi and tie for last in a horrible ChoBroic move. THEN, deciding to split taxis, the Goats decide to be the one to move - which let the Clowns drive ahead while David/Jeff were stuck unloading, loading and telling the driver where to go, costing them even more time This would be enough to put them high on the stupidity list as it is but then they got to the subway and jumped on the wrong train. Then instead of getting on the right train, they ran outside and wasted time getting another cab. THEN they travelled to the extreme eating Detour but pussied out immediately, bleeding even more time. Like a few other entries, if this happened in any later season, it'd be much higher up, but since this was such an undeniably difficult leg where basically everyone messed up (3 teams assumed the subway would be quicker than the busy streets but Kelly/Jon ended up first at the cluebox), that's enough to stop it being much higher. #75 - Tammy/Victor Don't U-Turn Margie/Luke (TAR14, Ep 11)
The U-Turn and Yield often makes smart teams ignore the most obvious strategic decision in order to attack the team they like the least (hi dere, everyone vs. Weavers) - other than TAR7 and arguably TAR11, they've been grossly misused, even by the eventual winners. Having made the Final 4 with the 2 teams they'd bonded with in the flight to Switzerland (plus, the only remaining team who took the alternative route), nice-but-boring Tanny/Victor's language advantage in the Beijing leg made them the only team to intentionally try the 'Recite Mandarin Food Orders' Detour, which turned out to be faster and nearest to the U-Turn. While all three other teams wandered aimlessly (or wanted to quit challenging tasks like applying make-up a) U-Turn the only team never in danger of elimination, consisting of the only other strong young guy left (who is also an allegedly huge race fan who has been studying for the final leg since Day 1) b) U-Turn the trailing bottom-feeders whose spirit they'd seen be broken in the last Detour Here's their excuse of why they did it: Tammy: It's a nerdy answer, but I thought that even though Margie and Luke were stronger overall, I didn't think they had a competitive edge over us in any way. Jen and Kisha, I mean, look at them. They are Division I athletes. They are incredibly athletic. They outran us twice in the legs coming up to the U-Turn. Of the U-Turn/Yield "mistakes" made by the winners, this one's the least egregious since their assumptions about Luke choking under pressure turned out to be right. But if Luke wasn't a simpleton, the lead Margie/Luke accumulated in the pig-haul could have easily cost them a million dollars. Fun Fact: This would have been much higher if Margie/Luke reached the U-Turn first (since apparently teams can use a Blind U-Turn and a regular U-Turn #74 - BJ/Tyler Don't Yield the Frats (TAR9, Ep 10)
Appropriately, this topic came up in the Popularity Poll thread - I personally don't think it was a hugely stupid move, but it was certainly a risky one. Here's their official explanaton: BJ & Tyler: Our rivalry with Mojo began when we saw them walk over to our car and pretend to leave us money in Oman. It was so pointless. If you're not going to leave money, fine, but why go over to our car and pretend to? Then, after their complicity in "cabgate," we decided we would yield them, if it was strategically advantageous.If you know you have a team against you, Yielding them makes sense. And yielding a team in second makes more sense on an NEL with the original penalty - if you know it's an NEL, play for first, if it's not, just try to not be eliminated. It's not like they actually fucked up the rest of the leg, they just got caught up in a badly balanced Detour #73 - Tyler/James & Romberly Don't Yield The Blondes (TAR10, Ep 11)
Speaking of obvious NELs and missed opportunity Yields, this is a much worse case - the "lose your possessions" penalty never made much difference, except costing the teams a little sleep and a little pride. But the powerful 30 minute penalty, which had already claimed David/Mary as a victim earlier in the season, was a different story meant this was by far the worst of the "Yields that never were" (well, second-worst, but the other entry's much higher up) Since Tyler/James had no personality, almost all of their airtime that wasn't taken up by them saying "dude" was spent talking about the Blondies. In fact, they started the episode saying that their ideal Final 3 would be them, Romberly and Bama (which was unsurprisingly, not the audience's choice). So why did they decide to not use the last Yield on the race - despite having no alliance with the BQs, or for there to be any way they could get their revenge? Fuck knows. And none of the post-show interviews that I skimmed through to make this entry mentioned it either. If the BQs didn't get lost, it would have been particularly fatal for Romberly after their car broke down, which would have left them without an olive-pressing station at the Detour, forcing them to wait for another team to finish, almost guaranteeing them last place. Spoilers for some of the next 10 (I will switch to more regular quick updates of 5 soon, probably once it gets down to the Top 40-50) |
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oh ehm gee |
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It's not like they actually fucked up the rest of the leg, they just got caught up in a badly balanced Detour. Not wearing shoes before driving to what they knew would be a footrace to the mat? Is a mistake. (especially adopting the "race for first in an NEL" strategy). Also, I thought Tortoise vs. Hare was: task that takes a steady amount of time vs. task that could be done really fast or really slow depending on how you handled the task (granted it still is only with the added twist of the scary ass task being the Tortoise). |
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Destinys Champion |
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Kisha/Jen getting U-Turned which helped get them eliminated </3 Bama getting yielded by the BQs but beating them to the pit stop anyway <3 |
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solesurvivor01 |
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I don't really agree with #75. We have no idea how Kisha/Jen would have done in the final leg. For all we know, they could have gotten an even bigger
lead than Margie/Luke did at the pig carrying challenge...which is what would have happened IMO. The fact is, both were strong teams, but Kisha/Jen were
faster, which would have been and advantage in the final leg, while Luke is deaf, and Margie still could have done the other detour...which was on the current
leg. Tammy/Victor were thinking ahead, and I don't blame them (although as a viewer, it would be hilarious seeing Luke try to do the other detour
Also, another thing I'd comment on was, in #74, I don't think you mentioned that MoJo lost their "Courtesy of..." sticker, so they weren't even allowed to use the yield, so I guess they wouldn't have been able to retaliate by yielding the hippies back, but I still agree completely that the hippies should have yielded the frat boys. |
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sesefied |
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A Dying Clown wrote:Both Detours and the U-Turn were in the same complex. What helped Tammy & Victor was that they could ask the guard outside in Mandarin where the place where the U-Turn was, so that helped them get there first. The other three teams couldn't ask the guard outside in Mandarin where the U-Turn place was, so they wandered aimlessly out on the streets asking the locals for some inambiguous place that they probably didn't know. |
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oh ehm gee |
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Also, I'm liking the idea of just putting up people's entire legs (though why this wasn't done for Kynt/Vyxsin in Italy, I dunno).
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pinoyako |
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KARLYN <33333 I have to agree with the Kisha/Jen U-Turn. Even tho Jacara were hopelessly lost, Margie and Luke would've been eliminated because the other detour would have been too hard for them. Just imagine Luke having a "zomg i'm deaf this is so unfiar"_" breakdown while doing the task. <3 |
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A Dying Clown |
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I don't really agree with #75. We have no idea how Kisha/Jen would have done in the final leg. We dunno how Mojo or the BQs would have done in the final leg either, so it has to be speculative but I don't think there can be much argument that Luke > Kisha/Jen (ew at having to type that) when it comes to upper-body strength. Mike/Mel made up time with them at the barrel-hauling and that was about the only strength-task they did. Of the three teams, Mojo would have been the biggest threat on the final leg (since the only way to be a threat in the TAR10 finale was to have an EZPass (though why this wasn't done for Kynt/Vyxsin in Italy, I dunno). It kinda was, but they did pretty well on the Roadblock, so they at least had about 5 minutes of decent racing, There's another recent season abysmal full-leg coming up soon on the list tho. |
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oh ehm gee |
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There's another recent season abysmal full-leg coming up soon on the list tho. |
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Thingamajig |
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*Bump*
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Katsuya |
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Since the TAR10 F4 NEL seems to be referenced a lot here, and it hasn't been mentioned (as far as I can see) in any of the write-ups, I'm going to
assume "The BQ's drive past the Roadblock, therefore dooming them to finish last" is somewhere in this list at one point.
And I'm also going to guess that Derek & Drew going to the Pit Stop in the TAR3 F4 elimination, instead of continuing to search for the bikes is going to be pretty high up. |
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oh ehm gee |
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I'm going to assume "The BQ's drive past the Roadblock, therefore dooming them to finish last" is somewhere in this list at one point. Not ADC, but... And re-watching TAR 13, I hope "Ken/Tina waste an hour trying to find the cluebox to the pit stop in Moscow 2" is up here, because it made no sense that they would leave an hour behind Dandrew when they both checked in at the same time. |
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Will |
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In recent seasons, most teams check-in first, then go back to pay their cabbies, which I'd like to think was Kim/Leslie's contribution to racing history.I don't think that's possible anymore since Uchenna/Joyce and Dandrew were stuck trying to pay their cabbies. (since apparently teams can use a Blind U-Turn and a regular U-TurnWhat.The.FUCK!? |
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A Dying Clown |
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I don't think that's possible anymore since Uchenna/Joyce and Dandrew were stuck trying to pay their cabbies.It's still done, since Luke said that when Margie fainted, they had to go back and sort out their cab-fare afterwards (and it was Luke who confirmed that using a blind U-Turn "doesn't count" as using a regular U-Turn List update coming tomorrow, this weekend has been muy busy. |
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oh ehm gee |
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OMG so rewatching TAR 505, that episode needs like, a lot of entries on it.
- Marshall/Lance, Chip/Kim, Brandon/Nikki and Kami/Karli hanging out at the airport for 12 hours waiting for a flight (since of course Lufthansa is such a nice, non-profit driven airline that they're willing to tell you that their competitors have a faster flight to Egypt) (Colin/Christie and Charla/Mirna both got better flights, and the Bowling Moms were stuck playing catch up) - To add to the parenthetical point, the Bowling Moms wasting enough time finding a train/in the Hermitage to get behind Kami/Karli - Hell, every team except Colin/Christie just going to Lufthansa on the same inefficient flight. - Kami/Karli randomly run somewhere despite given the instruction to look for yellow rocks. - the Bowling Moms randomly following Kami/Karli despite A) given the instruction to follow yellow rocks and B) the twins' previous record in navigation C) being slower than the twins and D) fighting for last place - Kami/Karli don't know what a satchel is (they may get a pass on this, but one would assume that in a dark, cramped hole the item that you're supposed to get would be fairly obvious. Not to mention, the clue mentioned that it would be in the water) - Kami/Karli discard the puzzle pieces after finishing the Roadblock AND decide that a random spot on the map is where their clue is located (leading to one of the best quotes ever "We're clueless") - Chip/Kim help Brandon/Nikki during the Detour - Chip/Kim help Kami/Karli find the Detour clue Also, I know Egypt's traffic is horrendous, but how does it take everyone two hours to go from the airport to the plateau, assuming that the given distance of 14 miles is accurate? (includes Colin/Christie) |
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A Dying Clown |
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- Kami/Karli don't know what a satchel is (they may get a pass on this, but one would assume that in a dark, cramped hole the item that you're supposed to get would be fairly obvious. Not to mention, the clue mentioned that it would be in the water) TAR5 is famous for the entire cast having dreadful vocabularies (no-one knew what a scarab was? Brandon/Nicole and the Bowling Moms didn't know what vertigo meant?) - I almost included Colin thinking the Prodigal Son was Jesus, just because it's one of my favourite underrated funny moments. None of the airport stuff is on the list (since I credit it more to Charla/Mirna and Colin/Christie two of the best airport-racers evah, with one exception) - almost everything else was in my first draft, but mostly got bumped by other things that were more obviously stupid or personally annoyed me more. |
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oh ehm gee |
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And on the heels of that (since I've finished rewatching TAR 5/6 again), one of the most overlooked and yet biggest fuck-ups: Aaron takes the
window-washing RB in Shanghai, forcing Hayden to do both of the final two RBs. As shown, Hayden doesn't do well under pressure (hence the lock drama), not
to mention, it was almost obviously an NEL (and even if it weren't, Adam/Rebecca would be behind by the Yield and Kris/Jon would have to still contend with
the shitty taxi drivers they encountered).
Corollaries to that are Boston Rob taking the busblock in London and Ray taking both the bungee jumping and sky diving RBs in TAR 9. |
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A Dying Clown |
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Corollaries to that are Boston Rob taking the busblock in London I thought the reason behind was that Rob was a really strong driver (which is why Amber did most of the navigation). And I don't think Ray or Yolanda were that different, skillwise, so I wouldn't call it a colossal failure unless there was a tradition of strength-Roadblocks at the end. There is an epic Roadblock choice failure in the update I'm finishing up now. |
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