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Fifty-six seconds in and I feel like killing myself.

(Paraphrasing) Paranthetical quotes are my thoughts...
Part 1:
I'm a douchebag. I pimped my wife. I paid some homeless dude off the street to pretend to be my brother-in-law and pimp my dead wife. I need to get people to come near me so I can smell them before I decide if I want to eat them or not. I'm still delusional and think I can sing. I'm an alien who moonlights as a human for reality TV. I still talk way too much for my own good. I'm the worst speaker ever.

Part 2:
I'm so awesome that I couldn't stop people from loving me. I was growing on the show- that's what happens when you eat all the food in a mansion meant for 13 people! My pop music knowledge is absolutely awful (also known as: I've never listened to Michael Jackson, Motown, Country, or anything on the Billboard Hot 100). "THERE WASN'T REALLY NO STRATEGY BEHIND IT" [That one is a real quote] (HOLY SHIT THIS GUY DIDNT KNOW WHAT THE GRAND OLE OPRY WAS.) (Okay this guy is completely lost in radio Top 40 music and plans to be a relevant recording artist?). I thought murdering Stand By Me was fun and I'm gonna pimp my dead wife in Idolatry too.

Part 3:
I have anger management issues, at least the harpist was there to take the blame for me. At some point, I figured out that the goal is to sing ON key! Silly me, I thought we were just supposed to yell. I tried to kill children with my scream, but sadly their parent's love saved them. DAMN YOU LILY POTTER. I fail at singing pretty hard. Screwing over Kris in rock week was all sorts of awesome- too bad it didn't work and I lost my molestation-fodder that week instead. Oh and I'm going to casually omit the fact that I screwed up the lyrics in my duet and blame it all on Kris' awful song choice- because he had a history of bad song choices in the competition.

Part 4:
I just meditated on it. Aren't I so cool now that I was on American Idol? People just WISH they could have the moments I acheived. I somehow managed to live in a cave for the last four weeks. And did you know that gay guys are people too? I had no idea until Adam convinced me he wasn't a vampire.

Part 5:
Pimping my wife is really cool, could you tell I love doing it? I'm soo full of velveeta it oozes from my ears. In fact, I wish I could marry cheese. Benson? Does he have a wife? I'm not sure how to kill a man... I'll have to think about that. Let me have a moment, I've never done anything like this in my life. At least my legions of fantards will think my music is good and buy it. Sophia's Heart everyone! Pay to fight my hunger pains... err, I mean cancer? Wait... did she die from cancer? Oh you know. I'm gonna make an album that sucks but at least it's going to have great No Boundaries-esque lyrics and messages!

Edited my first post with a summary for those who don't want to have to listen to Gokey talk. He is an AWFUL interviewee. All biases aside, he really needs to learn how to speak to the media because he does not come off well at all. He doesn't seem very self aware. Also, he really does need to go out there and just see what people are saying to help put everything into perspective.