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Evan and Randi were okay in their Jive, but for me, Evan sold it better than Randi did. There was no way his technical flaws were going to make it past Mary, but he faked it pretty good from where I was sitting. Randi's technique was apparently better, but I didn't get nearly as much charisma or jive feel from her as I did from Evan. Randi busted out another unitard during the intro solos.

I forget how many numbers Sonja has done for the show, but I don't remember enjoying any of them. I find her choreo to be off-putting -- lots of crouching, posing, and unimpressive looking lifts and throws. The other issue with Sonja numbers is the horrible 80's wardrobe -- I don't know how much input the choreographers have with the costumes, but her dancers always seem to end up with tres ugly Flashdance meets New Wave Punk mash ups with ripped clothes and day-glo colors. The judges were surley impressed with Ade and Melissa's take, but I just didn't like the choreography. Their contemporary last week was miles better.

Shane Sparks is back, but then again, I didn't miss him all that much (so no exclaimation points). I enjoy his larger group numbers to his pairs choreo, and it seems that whenever a choreographer is tapped to do two numbers, there's always one good one and one medicore one. Jason and Caitlin got the mediocre one, and this is one of those cases where they weren't given enough to do and they didn't perform it particularly well. When you get these pieces with small movements, they really have to pop to be noticed -- Neither Jason nor Caitlin really hit the sharpness required, and the dancing felt mushy. It was so under choreographed that the end of the number was just a bunch of standing around and posing. Easily, it was the weakest piece of the night on all levels.

I must say that Asuka and Vitolio's waltz was nowhere near the top of the list for most impressive waltzes on this show (smooth, viennese, or otherwise). The lifts were great, but the dancing itself was just okay for me. I was also put off a bit by Vitolio's sob story -- I won't deny the emotional impact of the story, but I thought the judges were reading a lot into the dance from the orphan backstory, and I feel like there would have been a different opinion and critique if it weren't for that. Asuka thinks her lack of connection with Vitolio is because she doesn't find him attractive -- maybe it's because that dude cries, like, all the time. Shut down the waterworks every now and then, ya big sissy.

First Shane's back, now Brian Friedman is back! The judge and choreographer from the first two seasons returned after taking a break for a couple of years, and he has since ditched his Sideshow Bob hairdo for that shaved chrome dome look (probably because he started losing his hair in the interim). I had always found Brian's choreo to be so-so -- I remember liking one contemporary piece he did, but this Jazz number for Max and Kayla did not do anything for me. It reminded me a lot of the Mandy Moore Jazz piece Chelsea and Thane had last year, the one where it looked like Chelsea was wearing a diaper. Lots of posing, ugly, ugly outfits, and uninteresting choreography. Max has all the charisma and sex appeal of a customer service rep at an auto parts store, and he looks 40-something. I don't understand the love for Kayla -- her face has alien features and while she may be technically outstanding, I don't get any charisma off of her and I don't really care that she's dancing. She didn't really wow me during last week's Salsa, and I only barely remember that she danced a jazz piece. Those eyelashes were distractingly weird looking.

To me, it really looked like Jonathan was faking it, so I was surprised at how much tongue-bathing was going on. The piece was good and Karla was up to the technical challenge, I just didn't get anything from Jonathan, and I don't think these two did the choreography justice. I really want to like Karla, but she hasn't impressed me so far. I think Jonathan is a lost cause.

There was a point, during the beginning of Phillip and Jeanine's Tango, that Phillip was more or less pulling off the chorepgraphy and getting the character, and I thought, "hey, Phillip may surprise some people tonight!" That lasted for about 30 seconds. Then you could see Phillip just following the steps without any dancing, and as game as Jeanine was, there was a point where it was a bit painful to watch, and I just wanted it to be over. It appeared that they cut some of the harder lifts from the final product, which probably saved Jeanine's life but made the routine even less interesting. The performances on the show are actually pretty short... on paper. This one seemed excruciatingly long. I hope Phillip can make it past this, as they danced my favorite number last week, and I think Phillip can develop the chops for contemporary to smooth over his inevitable failings in ballroom.

Shane Sparks is back! Okay, this time, Shane's choreo was really, really good, with a neat concept (Ashley is Kupono's shadow, moving on the floor sometimes to match his movements) and lots of great synchro moments. I agree Ashley & Kupono could have/should have danced it better (I liked it a lot, but it's neither as memorable nor anywhere near as good and Phillip and Jeanine's Nappy Tabs routine from last week), but I didn't see this as the failure the judges were making it out to be. I was enjoying the choreo too much to notice all the myriad technical and performance failings that the judges glommed on in their critiques.

I've saved Brandon and Jeanette's Disco routine for the end because it just blew everyone else out of the water. Doriana's disco routines get a bad rap because the dancers are often not up the the choreography, and when you take out the spectacular lifts that are the higlights in her numbers, you're really gutting them. Brandon and Jeanette didn't take out a thing, and the performance was a series of spectaular lifts, one more jaw dropping than the other. The dancing in between had that certain disco flavor that goes missing a lot of times on SYTYCD, and the speed of the performance was breathtaking. This disco routine is the only one that has even come close to touching Melody and Nick's disco routine from season one -- that Doriana routine has always been the gold standard for disco on SYTYCD, and this one is better on some levels and not quite as good on others, so I'd call it a push. So far, Brandon has killed the Foxtrot and demolished disco, and you have to give a ton of credit to Jeanette for that -- having him paired up with a fearless ballroom dancer allows Brandon to go beyond the normal lifts and tricks seen on the show. That said, I'm not sure how they're going to top this routine any time soon. At this point, I cannot imagine Brandon not winning this -- he's like Danny from season 3, a physical freak who is head and shoulders better than practically anyone else in the competition (although it needs to be noted that Danny somehow lost to Sabra that year). Brandon's only failing may be that an underdog may end up getting more votes since Brandon is clearly the favorite in the competition so far.

That's okay SA, it's dry analysis anyway. Here's a something shorter:

Cat's dress looks like she took a dust ruffle and fashioned it into a toga. Just hideous.

Lil C dropped a couple of Lil C-isms last year, and they were sort of charming every now and then. This season, he's trying way too hard to incorporate one with every critique, and it's turned into Mary Murphy level schtick. It's quickly become unbearable. I'd rather listen to Mia Michael's cuntiques than this shit.

Too bad Brian Freidman shaved his head -- now that Andy Dick separated at birth doesn't work as well.

Oh, and Randi looks like Tatum O'Neal all the time, and not just from certain angles. Like Jason simply looks like Tracy Morgan, not just from a certain angle. Kayla looks like an alien. I don't find her even remotely attractive.