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3. Peih-Gee Law (Survivor: China - 5th Place)

Man, Peih-Gee was awesome in China and I'm proud to have been the first person to see this and create the corresponding love thread (a shrine, if you will) to her greatness. Granted, that shrine took about five episodes to come into being, but that was because no one was really paying attention to Peih-Gee early on, what with all the shenanigans going down on Fei Long. But early on, she tried to step up as a leader of her tribe, and when she wasn't needed, she stepped back and let Dave put a target on his back by being an asshole. And I liked her pre-show too because she seemed to put an honest effort into preparing for Survivor by going to the gym and quitting smoking. But episode five was her moment to shine when the swap happened, and rather than making the stupid choice to try and win the challenge, she instead threw it with help from Jaime and booted boring Aaron from the game. Things may not have worked out due to James getting both idols and Fei Long being unable to throw a challenge, but she made it to the merge and became the ultimate underdog. She whined and pissed everyone off, yet she managed to scrape through each round, first by being less of a threat than Jaime, then Jean-Robert made himself a target, then she won immunity, then James became a target, then immunity again. If only Courtney had been better at the ball-bouncing challenge, Peih-Gee would've won her third immunity challenge and made the final 4 with a good chance at winning the game. Sadly, Denise sucked and she was playing with idiots who were aligned with the only other good player of the season, so she was booted just before the finale. But she did a great job while she was out there.


2. Crystal Cox (Survivor: Gabon - 6th Place)

I don't think that if Crystal had lived up to expectations, she would've ranked this highly. I mean, I went into the game fully expecting her to be a challenge monster, to win a lot and to be taken out at the final five or final six when she finally lost immunity. Thankfully, that didn't happen. Instead, Crystal, a gold medal-winning athlete, pretended to be a pre-school teacher so that she wouldn't have a target on her back, and apparently she didn't even need to pretend, because she sucked at pretty much EVERY challenge in the game and wound up with what I believe is the worst challenge record of the season and one of the worst challenge records of all time. Crystal started off on Fang where she was pretty much useless as far as challenges went, save for the first one her tribe won in which her massiveness helped in pulling Ace off of his pole. And then her massive size helped again in the only immunity challenge her tribe won, when she was able to wade out into six foot deep water to get her tribe's first bag of puzzle pieces.

Crystal was sassy, that's for sure, and she was always willing to speak her mind. She got pissed off at several of her tribemates over the course of the game, and her feuds were random. Her telling G.C. to eat his rice was funny just because of how weird it was for a grown ass man (Copyright Rory Freeman) to have a grown ass woman telling him to eat his food. And her yelling at Randy when she was voting him out was absolutely priceless. Her relationship with Ken was so adorable because just looking at them, you wouldn't think they would be friends, but they wound up being probably the closest alliance in the game. Also, even better than her failingg to win anything was just how spectacularly she failed at the challenges. She came in LAST in a running challenge. She missed many many times at shooting free-throws and then went for a dunk, only to miss. On a fucking dunk. Even in her last challenge, she managed to fuck things up because she actually got lost while blindfolded and wound up wandering out of the playing field. I wish she had made it to the end, because her jury speech would've been epic and I would've won a shit-ton of money, having bet on her to win in my mom's office pool.


1. Sandra Diaz-Twine (Survivor: Pearl Islands - 1st Place)

At long last, we've reached the end of the list. And Sandra is head and shoulders above everyone else (except perhaps Massive Crystal, because she'd need a ladder of some kind), as the best winner of all time and the best character the show has ever had. Like Bob, Sandra was my personal favorite from the very first episode, even moreso than Rupert. Because while Rupert stealing the shoes was impressive, the most impressive moment of the village scene was Sandra using her Spanish speaking skills to trade a gold chain for an entire barbeque. Who cares if she was a failure at challenges? For that one, brief moment, she was the biggest asset the Drake tribe had going for it. And on top of that, Sandra was probably one of the mouthiest players we've ever seen on the show (at least as far as women go) as she would swear and yell and cuss anyone out who pissed her off, with a particular spot in her heart for bashing Jon. She called him like a girl, promised to screw him ANNNNNNND Burton, and defied his promise that she wouldn't win the game.

Plus, Sandra was part of an amazing alliance involving herself, Christa and Rupert, which dominated most of the first half of the game, right up until Rupert was blindsided. But Sandra, then in the minority, fought back. She snuck around with Darrah and Tijuana and actually caught Jon and Burton having a powwow that turned the game around, right up until Jon did some damage control and switched the target from Burton to Tijuana. After Christa was booted next, Sandra managed to take advantage of Burton's blunder and rallied the women together to boot their biggest threat in terms of immunity, all the while being completely unable to win challenges, to the point where people were pissed when they got stuck with her on their team. She wasn't the best player, but she made moves that kept her in the game one more day. One more day was her strategy, and it paid off as she got to the end after playing the sympathy card on Lill. She would've had the first ever perfect game had Tijuana not been so bitter about Sandra/Christa betraying her, and she was an extremely satisfying winner to cap off an amazing season. I don't believe that ANYONE will ever be able to top Sandra as my favorite Survivor of all time.