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Nick Cannon sucks and the judges are a joke.

Nick Cannon makes me think of a Chris Rock stand-up act. You know the part where Chris Rock does an over-exaggerated voice of a black man mockingly being overly polite to white men? That's exactly what Nick Cannon sounds like for the vast majority of the show. It's annoying and he's a horrible host.

My friend and I can't get over there being two English judges for AMERICA's Got Talent. That aside, Hasslehoff is the worst of the lot. I can tell you what his critique is going to be ahead of time: "You deserve to be here." My friend gets annoyed by Mary Murphey on SYTYCD when she confirms what she just said (That was an amazing dance, yes it was!). So now we make fun of Hasslehoff when he talks: "You deserve to be here, yes you do!"

As for the acts... not as strong as the judges tried to make them out to be.

The Footwork Kings were out of sync at some of their slower parts. Also, they tried to "launch" one of their members at the end of the dance, but I could jump higher unassisted. He then fell to the floor, got up, and ran over to his finishing position, yet the judges said they were "one of the best dance groups ever on the show".

The guy with the replacement back-up singers hurt my ears with his singing. They needed to replace him in that act, not the back-up singers.

Pixie Mystere were good. I hate kid acts getting special treatment just cause they're kids, but they were actually good, even if you take age out of the equation.

When it came to Jay the magician, the judges finally got something right. He did a bunch of old cliche magician tricks. He does have good presentation of them, though.

When it came to Bri, it was the horrible arrangement of Poker Face. You slow it down like that and you make it extremely repetitive and annoying. "Can't. Read. My. Can't. Read. My. Can't. Read. My. Poker. Face." took 30 seconds to get out before repeating the same line. I tried to Fast Forward through the performance, but for some odd reason, I was watching it live :p

I loved U4ria. I feel they were completely underrated by the judges. I don't think they're one of the best ever, but they're definitely better than a lot of acts that the judges have been fawning over.

Dave Johnson was amusing, but shouldn't have gotten to that point to begin with. Obvious fodder.

Hairo Torres was good.

Jeffrey Ou I thought was more fodder. I do have an appreciation for classical music, so I enjoyed Pachelbel's Canon, but the Elton John section was horrid. I was actually thankful for the technical malfunction. Even then, I thought it was pretty crappy that production said "we feel bad, but won't do anything to make up for it." Happy he made it in over Bri. I'm hoping for a better performance from him. I want to like him.

Was I the only one actually bored by Mario & Jenny? They were great in the auditions, but I felt like I've seen this act many times before.

Now on to the judge's pimped choice of the week: Lawrence Beaman. I hated his audition performance. However, I do have to admit that I could appreciate his performance this week. I was thinking of Barry White, too. While it wasn't a performance I could get into, I could recognize and appreciate it for what it was. He deserved to go on to the next round, even though I hate the pimpage behind him.

/rant