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So Jordan in the HOH, talking about losing Kevin or Russell this week, and then in F4, ditching Michelle and talking Natalie to F3. She thinks they could beat Natalie or that she would take them there. Jeff squelches that saying he really needs as many people playing HOH next week that won't nom him and he thinks Russ won't. He's not sold on Nat being their new bestie at all. But he thinks if it is endurance, her or Michelle would stand a good chance of winning.

Downstairs, Russell and Michelle eating their 'crackers'. They're not all that crispy. Russ decides they should try burning the shit out of them. So he says burn, baby, burn and still the stuff back in the oven. I will verify it is crunchy, since that's all I'm hearing out of their mikes. Russ says all he tastes are sweet pickles and salsa. Russ says he going to see what he thought was the case and if it is, he is fucking up the static. I have no idea what that is about. Michelle keeps chomping on the cracker-like things.

Michelle telling Russ she hopes the POV is not used and Nat is still on the block. She wants Nat out, but needs to know what Jeff wants. Russ says, we have the vote this week. In the HOH, Jeff telling her about cards. She doesn't know anything about the cards. She goes please Jeff tell me about cards. She's being bitchy as hell. Jeff says he does not want to hear about her period, that every woman on earth has a period, it's not just her. He just wanted to teach her a fun game. Now he wants a divorce. He's going downstairs and asks if she wants anything, she say no, just for him to turn the light out. He leaves and leaves the light on. Jordan lets out an annoyed huff.

Meanwhile, in the backyard, Russ is telling Michelle there is no way Jeff will turn on Jordan. He will try to keep her here above everybody. Russ says he hopes Jordan and Jeff sticks to it. Michelle says well, they're not going to run off at the mouth right now because they think she runs to Russ and tells him everything. Russ says that's why me and you have to win POV. Says that Jeff gives him nothing. Upstairs, Jeff is finally giving Jordan silence because he is eating cereal.

Russ feels keeping his distance from Jeff is better than hanging on him. He knows that Jeff notices things like this. Michelle saying that jeff won't even talk to her. Michelle says, 'we've been cut off." Russ says, we're like lil' children, give me something, give me something. Russ says it's weird they are so hunky dory with Kevin. But Russ guesses there's a chance Kevin will win veto, so he can see why Jeff would be friendly. Russ says if he wins HOH, he's going to make them wait and being squirming in their seat. Michelle thinks Jeff wanted a bigger thank you from her during the key ceremony.

Michelle going on about how Nat is always all over Jeff and Jordan now. That Nat was being posy in the spa. Russ says I saw that too and I was like, you are fucking eighteen. C'mon, girl. (I guess she was sitting with her legs wide open?) Russ saying next HOH is critical. Russ says me or you. That was our plan. They covered their bases, and we will cover ours when the times comes. Michelle talking about final five HOH. She thinks they get to play in four and Russ says no, it's three.

Michelle saying that Chima and her had the most fights that first week. There were fights nobody else knew about because she would usually end up just walking away from Chima. Russell thinks that was the smart thing to do. He thinks his fights with Chima will go down as some of he most intense in BB history.

Michelle says bullshit stories get made up to tell the HOH, like that Michelle was saving Chima's hair and was walking around in it. Russell brings up when the three of them were sitting around the table bawling over Jesse. Michelle says she wonders if Natalie was using her crying skills then too. Russell thinks Natalie faked cried during that last comp. Michelle says she doesn't know how to fake cry. Russell says he can't fake cry on his life.

Jordan and Jeff, with the lights out and in the HOH bed. Jeff kind of laying on his belly. Jordan is running scenarios, but she is just confusing Jeff because she not saying who is there and when. Turns out Jordan was talking about the last comp, that Russ was very close to winning. Jordan is worrying about Russ getting to final four. Jeff says he is not taking his chances with them at final four. Jordan says it's either this week or next week they have to get Russ out.

Jeff says if we get Russ out this week, then it's you and Michelle, and my fate is in your hands. Unless he strikes a deal with fucking Kevin that he won't put Jeff up. Jeff say, but then YOU'RE going up. Jeff says what are you saying, we send home the weak player and keep the two strong players, Kevin and Russell. Jordan says I just want it to be you, me, Michelle in final four. Jordan is afraid she won't get HOH and then Jeff will yell at her. Jeff says then I will strike a deal to save myself and I won't be mad at you.

Russ saying Michelle is funny. Because she will lie her ass off if Russell tries to expose any of her shit. Russ says he looked over at Chima and she didn't believe him over Michelle and he was like, well, it's all downhill from here. He said I know what was happening and it sucked. Russ says it's funny, you just can't take shit like that personal.

Now talking about how Natalie has not really been on the block except for once, cause the first time, she was up for like thirty seconds with Jessie, the second time, it wasn't even a whole day before Chima got herself booted. So last week the first time she was really on the block. And yet Natalie is bitching how she is always on the block. Russ saying that it was so random in that bottle comp. Michelle says the wind would take the bottles and blow them away from the tubes. Michelle says Jeff looked furious that whole comp.

So in the HOH, Jordan is saying that Michelle has been different. Has been keeping distance from them. Jeff says if she doesn't talk to him before veto ceremony, he might put her on the block, just because she thinks she is so fucking smart. But sounded like Jordan and Jeff are leaning more towards getting Kevin out this week since he is smart and would do well in some of the later comps.

Kevin and Natalie in the backyard. Natalie is saying she is going to wash all the shoes and use the sanitizer. Jeff complaining his back hurts. Kevin has had back pain too. Natalie playing pooy with Jeff. Inside, Jordan eats. Jeff spies Jordan and goes, Jordan, Jordan, what are you doing? I gotta pee, announces Jordan and she flees inside. Jeff says that means she has to poo.

Natalie says there are bugs on the pool table. Ants. Jeff says no, they're fleas. Jeff beat Nat at pool. She's been making hints about him using the veto, "just say I'm safe" she sang softly while they played. Jeff not confirming anything. Kevin's clothes are brought to us tonight by the purple hoodie people. Jordan asking Nat when all is said and done, what do you want to do? Nat wants to just watch movies with her boyfriend. Jordan somehow thinks this means we need to hear about her two years of not dating. And losing her virginity.

Jordan called to the DR, which is a good thing because I really didn't want to drive a spike between my eyes. Nat and Jordan promise they will talk more when she gets back. Nat complains to Jeff that the DR is always interrupting her good conversations with Jordan. Jeff says it seems to him that Nat and Jordan are always talking about the same shit. Russ comes out and he's acting downright jovial. Talking about Jeff nearly being burned in a comp. Jeff trying to mess with Kevin's game by telling him he juggled the balls.

Natalie and Kevin now by the hot tub. Nat bitches again about the DR ruining her good chats with Jordan. Talking about spanish vs american versions of movies.

Kevin is saying that Russell is up Jeff's ass, telling him that Kevin and Nat are now up his ass. (I did NOT make that one up.) Kevin says they need to be on their best behavior for the next day and a half. Nat talking about putting Jeff and Jordan up, even though they want to. Nat says Kevin must say they are not after Jordan. Sounds like Nat's target is jeff and if he wins veto, he takes himself off and Jeff goes up.

Kevin goes, y'know, he would understand it too. Nat already practicing her why I stabbed you in the back, Jeff speech even though she's not even HOH yet. Kevin and Nat says if Jordan or Michelle win next week, they are going up. They still think Jeff will backdoor Russell. Kevin says we have to make Jeff think we are dumb and desperate to get him to put up Russell.

Oh great. Nat wants to play badminton with Kevin again. Kevin always ends up owning her ass. Nat says she plans on using the racket on any helpless bees that may wander by. For a moment, she sticks the racket between her legs and skippy zooms in until the end of the racket looks like a weird erection outside of her j.eans. Heh, skippy.

Jeff calls Jordan and she comes to his side, he gives her a half hug. Badminton and pool continue. It's just like being at the teen rec hall on a saturday night. Jordan goes to fridge for ice cream and notices her cookie dough has been thrown out. She is displeased. Michelle whipping up a slop snack. Says she's doing something like chocolate eclairs. Mmm. Eclairs. I think Jordan is going for a scoop of every kind of ice cream.

Outside, Nat is seeing imaginary bees. She sees Michelle in the kitchen and tells Kevin, uh-oh, Dr. Psycho Sleeper is now up. Kevin says how Michelle went mental when they woke her up earlier today. BB blaring out DR warnings. Jordan and Michelle go outside, so all hamsters hanging outside now. Jordan feeds a bite of ice cream to Jeff. She asks him if he wants to take a bubble bath later? He says me...with you? Wow. He wants to know if there will be candles. Jordan says well, after the drama. Jeff says he is over it. Jordan says she is mostly over it, she's a little sour. And she continues to feed her face.

They talk about how much the cameras would love them in a bubble bath. Jordan says they could open a bottle in the bubble bath. Jeff says doesn't want a bubble bath with her. He says he will do it if they make out though. Jordan says that would look even more weird. Jeff thinks she'd fart in there and make a jacuzzi.

Meanwhile, Nat is telling Kevin he sucks at badminton. And Russ is offering Jordan chit lings. Finally, a food Jordan won't eat. Michelle saying that they have lots of protein. Jordan wants to go on slop to lose weight. Russ says Michelle has been eating differently than at home, so that's probably why. Jordan starts to tell us how fat she is, but for once realizes this has already been a topic. Russ thinks he will get fat off of the churros.

Jordan now mentions to all that her cookie dough is gone. Nat doesn't think anyone would throw it away, somebody must have ate it. Jordan says well, it is gone, so whatever. But she is still in mourning. Kevin says he has never eaten raw cookie dough. Jordan says it is so awesome. Kevin talking about cookie dough energy bars.

There are stains that are not coming out of Jeff's clothes. Oil stains. They've been using color safe bleach on it. I hear Jordan chattering away to Michelle about how she always meant to get Lydia to give her a make-up makeover. "All funky like she does."

Russell is making a protein shake. Skippy just can't bear to turn away from it. Finally, and it's back to those stubborn oil stains in the clothes and Jordan telling Kevin about the first time she saw him, he was sooo funny. Kevin says I wasn't gonna say heeeeeeyyyyy.

Jeff has discovered Jordan's shirt is pretty clean. It's a laundry miracle. Nat recommends they throw it in one more time. Nat reminds him to use the sanitize cycle. (She is obsessed with this cycle.) Unit is on sanitize, she announces. So Russ comes out and ambles on over the couch. Kevin is talking about something being like a blur...probably the outfit he put on this morning.

Jeff talking about a friend who makes his own wine. He says the key is to find good grapes, his friend gets them from California. And about how he squeezes the grapes out. Now they're explaining the fermentation process to Jordan. Russ says that is fucking awesome, I want to make my own wine. Russ asks how it tastes? Jeff says awesome and it has a stronger alcohol content. He says two glasses and you are wrecked. This past year, Jeff bought some grapes so his friend could make a bottle or two for him. Jeff says he thinks his friend does the wine in August usually. Jeff says it's not that hard too do.

Russ wants to go shark diving. Jordan says that would be scary. Isn't that when they put you in the cage? Russ says yeah, he wants to do that. Jordan talking about how they can get into the cage. Now talking about the Fun Factory guy letting sharks bite his arm. Jeff thinks it is weird BB hasn't given them beer. Nothing is going on. Russ says he doesn't know the reason why. Jeff says they won't get wine tomorrow comes of the noms. Jeff says give us some liquor, we'd have some emotion. Now he's bitching about Russ had booze every night Jeff was on slop.

Kevin playing pool with Natalie. He asks if she has had enough? And she says no. You can hear J/J/R talking over on the couch. Nat saying they still have DRs to do tonight for the POV comp. Kevin complains he is getting no break in pool. Then Nat misses her next shot.

Jeff still talking about booze. He's got a bottle and he's thinking of cracking it. Jeff says he HATES morning people. Russ calls Jordan Hailie when Jordan gives them the finger. Russ saying that him and Jeff had been dealing with Hailie all day. Jordan apparently was flipping off the camera earlier, when Jeff and Russ was watching on the spy screen. Russ says Jordan doesn't like him, it's cool. Jordan says shut up. Russ says it again. He says he cried. Jordan made him cry. Jordan saying yeah, right. Jeff saying that her and him are over. Jordan starts saying how she gets on Jeff's nerves. BB gives her DR warning. Jeff says we are not a showmance. Jordan says we are definitely not a showmance...and I can't wait to get out and dance and shit.

Jeff says that was random. Jordan rambling about dancing to the smack that song. Saying people were laughing at us and we were acting so stupid, but we had the best time. Talking about she is always screaming with her friends. HEYYYYY!! WOOO! Russ thinks that's funny. He says they should just bust in the room and do that for her. Jeff says in the morning. Russ says the morning would be perfect. Jordan still rambling.

Over at the pool table Nat says something about how Russ is big friends with Jordan and Jeff again. Can't hear her good cause she is lowtalking. And because Jordan is like SHOUTING about some stupid thing she and friend did at a buffett.

Jeff saying fucking Sundays. Russ says he knows, he can smell it. Michelle is looking like WTF? Jeff explains football. It's happening right now.

Skippy cuts over to Kevin sitting by the hot tub, not saying anything. He's dipping his hands in. Natalie says she just wants Monday to come. That tomorrow is all about worrying and thinking. Nat suggests they play chess tomorrow to keep their minds off of it and she will make TUNA. Natalie says the chess will take a hour and so will the tuna.

Natalie tells Kevin she is fairly certain about this week, and that they will be moving on to next week. Kevin says he doesn't feel that way at all. Nat says she is sure. Then she lapses into a pout. Has that lower lip poked way out.

And eventually Nat is called to the DR. Nat wants to play some more pool with Kevin after she is done, but she says it may take an hour. Jordan now talking about her old boobs. Kevin says to Jeff, something is wrong, but whatever. Jeff just is sticking to pool. "Wanna bust?" Kevin does not. And yay for more pool?

Jordan still talking about her boobs.

Kevin and Jeff discuss Mexican food. He asks Jeff if they even have Mexican restaurants where he is from? Yeah, Jeff likes one called...sorry, blanking. Jordan tells Jeff she think she is gonna sleep in the Splash room tonight. Jeff is like hmm...okay. Now hamsters wandering kitchen looking for food. Nat is bitching because she put on five pounds. Kevin says she needs to shut up about her five pounds. She thinks her boyfriend will like her curvier because he is always talking about her putting on weight.