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What the hell am I the only one besides the 7,293 following her twatter that hates this bitch? Turn out the answer is NO!

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Tallulah Morehead


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Posted: August 22, 2009 04:30 AM

"I'm melting, melting. What a world. What a world. Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?"-The Wicked Witch of the West (My darling Margaret Hamilton), The Wizard of Oz.

On last week's eviction episode of Big Brother, they announced that this would be a double-eviction week, with a surprise second eviction sprung on the guests this Thursday with "a whole week of Big Brother in one hour." Well things didn't work out as planned. Two houseguests still departed, but things went gloriously awry. I ended this column last week with the fervent hope that one of them would be Chima, the Wicked Bitch of the West. (She even lives in West Hollywood. How appropriate!) Well I got my wish. Oh boy, did I! It was one of the best weeks in BB history. Let's dive in.

Sunday. The Pity Party.

Starting up during last week's eviction ceremony, we saw that Chima is, without question, The World's Poorest Sport. They should give her a trophy, preferably clubbing her over the head with it.

In the Diary Room, discussing her reaction to Gandoofus hexing her plots with the Coup D-etat, Chima said, "I wanted to "Shout out loud _______!" Louder please, Chima dear. We couldn't hear your classy obscenity.

Jessie said of his nomination and ouster, "It's a good move. It is." Chima, when Jessie is a better sport than you are, you're a mess.

During a commercial break of last week's live show, this exchange occurred: Gandoofus: "You don't control anything, Chima, just so you know."

Chima: "You usurped my power." No, America did. And you were always told this could happen, so you knew you never had any power, but you just refused to believe it.

Natalie on Jessie's eviction: "Waaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!" Grow up. "The ugly and the bad get rewarded in this game." No, Chima was fired, not rewarded. Oh! You meant...

Gollum: "[Jessie] is exactly what America thinks he is. He is this self-involved, egomaniac, megalomaniac." Gollum is the Voice of Reason? By the way, Gollum, your clashing plaids are making my eyes bleed.

Jordan to Gandoofus: "You had me so fooled. I had no clue." And what else is new, Jordan?

So Chima, Lydia, Natalie and Gollum, a.k.a. Chima's Coven, held a Pity Party to plot against Russell.

Dr. Michele won Head of Household. The two factions, The Bromance Alliance and Chima's Coven, took opposite approaches to wooing Dr. Michele. The Bromancers kissed her butt, while the Coven threatened her. Guess which she cottoned to.

Russell, wearing glasses to look smart, actually had a non-screamed conversation with The Doctor, and they declared a truce. Russell: "Part of it was my fault." Part of it?

The Coven was toasting Jessie, calling him "Mr. Pectacular," a nickname Jessie, with his characteristic modesty, invented for himself. Natalie, weeping and half-drunk (well maybe not half) said of Jessie: "He had such a good spirit, and such a good presence, soul." Natalie, two points:

1. He's not dead. And ...

2. No he doesn't.

Listening to Chima's Coven discuss Jessie like a fallen war hero, Gollum wanted to puke, but he stayed there. Why don't you leave these idiots, Goll? They're losers, and they'll take you down with them.

(lots more here)