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ScruffyGuy wrote:

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Here's what I learned from this week's episode:

1) You cannot lose weight without Ziplock storage bags. Also, you will need Biggest Loser protein powder, it's only 40 calories per scoop.

2) If you can afford to a hire a "world-famous" chef that no one has ever heard of to come to your home and teach you specific minutia about nutrition, do that.

3) A "world-famous" chef I've never heard of is FAR better than Rocco again.

4) A "portion size" for a family of four = one small shish kabob for me. I'll have three of those, thanks.

5) FRUIT for dessert is an insult to humanity. If you give me some grilled pineapple and plain yogurt to dip it in, I'm going to crack you in the face.

6) Fatties always look funnier when you dress them up in life-vests and helmets.

7) Lack of pork fat and whipped cream makes a person cry, cry, cry, cry, cry.

8) A "calorie" is a unit of energy. Thanks, Jillian! I never knew that.

9) In this world, there are good moobs and there are bad moobs. These are ALL bad moobs.

10) Super-fat people generally have big hair. It's true. Once in a while there's a baldy but for the most part, big hair. Guess what, Lardies? That big hair isn't fooling anyone. We still can see that you're as big as a mountain range.



I skip "phone calls home." ALWAYS.

But I WILL watch a moment of "family reunion" when we get to that because I simply HAVE to see what kind of woman would let Sean mount her. Or mount him, as would probably be necessary due to gravity and physics and such.

Mommy heroin addict. Entire family killed. Raped by father. Raped by dog. Underwear rides up. Frequent hangnails. Baby once drank Clorox and now has brain damage. Pork rinds not sold in large enough bag. Pet hamster burned to death in tragic electrical fire.

Yeah, they all have problems, don't they?

So many good reasons to be FAT.

I don't feel sorry for them anymore.

"Every pound is a wound."

Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Plumpo.

Life IS tragedy. You think you're the only one with sorrow?

You know, other people just GET DRUNK or fuck strangers they pick up in a bar, or go on a multi-state killing spree -- a much healthier alternative.