OMG, as they say. Survivor: Samoa kicked off last night, and I think I'm not being too hyperbolic in saying that it was one of the best, if not THE best, season openers of all time. Sadly, this is probably thanks to Russell H. (not to be confused with gentle, likable Russel S., who may or may not be a lost member of the Dave Matthews Band). Yes, Russell H. has lived up to the hype and proven to be a totally AWFUL villain right off the bat; however, while I instantly hated him, I love that he's there because truthfully, we would not have had as tense, cutthroat, and totally enjoyable episode to kick off the season. But don't get me wrong: Russell's pretty terrible. He burned people's socks; he emptied water canteens; he told lies about Hurricane Katrina; and he railroaded one of the more likable and bright characters right off the show. Awful.

But the success of this first episode does not squarely fall on Russell's stocky shoulders alone. The cast as a whole seems to be pretty awesome. Lots of strong, interesting personalities right out of the gate. We have some supremely likable characters - SHAMBO, Russell S., Betsy (the "old" cop, who is also my total favorite), Jaison (pronounced jay-saaahn, I believe), and Marisa. We have some assholes - Ben (the self-proclaimed hillbilly), rocket scientist John, possibly Erik (but he could wind up being cool), and obviously Russell H.. And we have some sass potential in Yasmin (who looks to be getting into a fight next week) and Ashley (who refuses to be called weak, even though she probably is). Oh, and I liked the urban planner Elizabeth who's loathe to take on Asian stereotypes... unless they're flattering.

Point is, Samoa is off to a terrific start. Some casts just have "it," and this one seems to be one of them. Crossing my fingers that the season just keeps getting better. And in the meantime, photos after the jump...

Um, Jeff. There's a tsunami behind you. Might wanna step inland.

"Hello. I'm Dr. Mick Trimming. And of course I'm going to be the team leader. After all, I'm Dr. Mick Trimming."

"I'm so honored that you've chosen me as the leader. Now, who wants to jam out for twenty minutes? Shambo, you can be on sax."

"Excuse me, Jeff, but are there any households or schools nearby? I'm kind of obligated to let them know I'm here."

"Damn. Didn't get picked for the competition. But that's okay. It's probably because they didn't ask 'Who's the biggest ASSHOLE in the tribe.'"

"I object to being labeled as smart just because I'm Asian. However, it should be noted that I am very smart. And Asian."

"DID SOMEBODY SAY CHITLINS? I'M A-COMIN'!!!!"

Erik: "If no one minds, I'm gonna spend the rest of the game like this."

"The way Erik fought out there... I was like 'He's got his ball, he's got his chain, tied to me tight, tie me up again.'"

"WELL, I think this is a testament to my Asian smartness, if I do say so myself."

"Oh my gosh. I'm like dead, man."
"John, it's been forty-five minutes."
"Oh."

Ashley: "Ew, it smells like feces over here."
Russell H: "Oh that's me. I don't wipe. Makes you weak."

"Trust Russell? Yeah. Like I'm gonna put my game in the hands of a man who smells like rancid baked beans."

"What no one realizes is that I've hidden twelve Handi-snacks in my mullet. I'll be good for a looooong time!"

"Look, building a shelter is not rocket science. Literally. That's why I have no idea what I'm talking about."

"I totally lied about my dog dying in Katrina. Hahaha. So good. But seriously, all those people in New Orleans are pussies."

"Everyone, just let me do the puzzle. I'M SMART AND ASIAN!"

John: "Hey guys, anyone wanna check out my erection? Oh, you're still doing the challenge. My bad."

Marisa: "Russell, I'm concerned. You seem to be talking to everyone."
Russell H: "Ain't nothin' wrong with that. Just plottin' yer murder."

"Um, Jeff, could we get another stool here or something?"

"Jeff, I don't know what I did to get a mark on my back, but chances are it's because I talked back to dickwad #1 and dickwad #2 over here."
Ben: "You're the dickwad."
Russell: "I'm a gonna slit yer neck, woman."

"Um, I can't read this."
Russell H: "Oh, that's probably me. I just rubbed it in my crotch and let whatever pattern develop. Kinda like one of them fancy Rorschach tests."

"Whatchu talkin' about, Willis?"

"I may be smart and Asian, but I did NOT see this coming."

"I'm a douche."

"And I'm a dick!"

"Well, I certainly got screwed."