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When I was a kid and used to work in the furniture store, we would sometimes have "super sensitive" people calling up to complain about the mattress smell. I'd give them the standard speech on the phone, tell them to wait a few days, fucking relax, I'm eating my lunch and don't have time for your whining, etc.

Most would never call back, especially after hearing me talk with food in my mouth.

But a few would persist. Crybabies. "Oh, I can't sleep because the chemical leaching is causing nosebleeds, blah, blah, blah."

Toughen up. You stuff some tissue up your nostrils and you get on with your life.

In some cases we'd have to go back and get the mattress and issue a refund. In ONE case the chemical smell WAS awful and everyone else noticed it, too. I am not sure why one mattress would stink more than the others. All the other times -- it was "normal" new mattress stink and the people were just those annoying, hyper types that cannot handle change within their lives or who have no patience.

We will see what happens with Paul, I guess.

went out to Olive Garden for the bottemless pit pasta.

Huh. I did this about 10 years ago when they first introduced it. I figured: "hey, it half-sucks but at least I can eat as much as I want of it."

And you know what they do, those cocksuckers?

They bring me this little-bitty bowl of pasta that would feed a child. (Picture my very, very sad and confused face, looking down into this pasta bowl with almost nothing in it, %#@*! starting to well up in my eyes.)

So I realize that's the gimmick. You have to keep on asking and asking and asking for more and more pasta but you won't because you will ultimately be too embarrassed. Your server will give you dirty looks and he or she will take a LONG, LONG time to come back with your next bowl of pasta. Meanwhile, you are scrounging other tables for fragments of garlic bread sticks and digging around on the floor for croutons and such because you're fucking starving.

Oh, no.

Never again.