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I'm in charge of the basics this year as usual. And as usual, I shall BRINE my turkey.

The stuffing/dressing is kind of combination of old recipes from Cooks Illustrated. It's a bacon, sausage, carmelized onion and apple stuffing. I've been doing it long enough that I think I've perfected it.

I'll also do the full-on giblet gravy since gravy is atop the food pyramid.

This year, I'm doing Honest Earth All-Natural Creamy Mash potatoes instead of making my own. They are instant potatoes from Costco. I would have considered this sacrilege before but we had them last year and they were awesome. It also gets rid of one more chore to do after the turkey is out of the oven. And no one would ever notice the difference.

Side accompaniments will include lefse, black-eyed peas, and macaroni and cheese.

Hors d'oeuvres will be a giant vat of salsa.

Dessert will be a whiskey bread pudding.

The other side dish will be wine. And too much of it.