Since I have stopped applying to Survivor because it is a complete fraud, I'll spend my time helping you who still believe out
(and making more money on my shorts of CBS stock :-)
Let's review the applicants who have actually gotten on the show for the last few years and see if some ideas, strategies, insights can be gained:
Samoa (4 Applicants)
Shambo, 45, Renton WA - A mullet domed lesbian, ex-Marine, Harley rider with limited social skills and Gilligan-like tendencies. Shambo is a stereotype of you
lame morons that avante garde LA types like Lynne despise. Lynne likes that she's gay ex military (political correctness points). If we conducted a poll of
fans pre-season, the over-under on Shambo would have been that she'd be dead by TC 3. She fills the applicant role of "fodder" castings done for
the intention of being early kills and making Lynne's recruits last longer and shine by comparison. Lynne's professional reputation has been staked out
on the assertion that the applicant pool is full of idiots which justifies her recruits (and more importantly her recruiting of those socially connected to
Casting). Lynne was embarrassed by Tocantins. That wasn't going to happen again.
Betsy, 48, Compton NH - Applied 13 times. Now at 48, she's safe to bring on and use as fodder, the odds of her lasting to the merge are low. Lynne needed a
New England regional casting. In recovery as a former alcoholic points (and points for the PC stereotype that military and cops and prone to drugs and
alcohol.)
Mike, 62, Marina del Rey CA - Mike hates Republicans (political correctness points). He's from California and I can't imagine wasn't known to
someone inside CBS or SEG. Jeff asserts that only 1 in 10,000 applicants are qualified to be on Survivor. So that means all of you lame pieces of shit that
apply - suck more than this guy. There is no reason for him to be on the show. If they needed a Brooklyn guy they could have gone to ahhhh … Brooklyn. Keep in
mind that Mike had to be pulled off of Tocantins 24 hours before filming because he was a physical mess. How the hell did he get through medical??? And why the
hell was he brought back? Because he was there to fail physically and have a high probability of fulfilling the role of fodder or better yet the drama of a
medical evac - which makes Lynne's recruits appear so tough and strong.
Russell S, 42, Glenside PA - Jeff's pre-season take on Russell was that he won't last long. Russell is the most risky of the applicants. Although he is
over 40, he is not complete fodder. Russell works for a bunch of politically correct causes so he gets Lynne points for that.
Lessons learned from the Samoa applicants:
1) Don't apply if your under 40
2) Be politically correct
3) Don't make them think you've got what it takes to make the merge.
Tocantins (4 Applicants)
Folding to pressure from fans angered by the lack of any young applicants in Gabon and the absurdity of the recruits past off as "Super Fans" in Fans
Versus Favorites which itself came on the heals of the big Fuck You given the fan/applicants in China and Fiji, Casting considers some under 40 applicants ...
Big Mistake.
JT, 24, Samson AL - A hick that was suppose to represent the South and be an annoying jerk. Everything was going fine. He was said to be universally disliked
by the other castmember at the Ponderosa before filming. The guy was suppose to show up and be hated. Stephen, the NYC, Yale Grad, Jewish, Friend of Casting
Recruit set the stage (early episodes are edited prior to the conclusion of the show) when he marked JT as a white Southern bigot that would be a problem (and
likely early exit). Then the fucker went socially skilled, warmed up to Stephen. THIS IS NOT SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN. Lynne was probably pissing her pants. JT was a
disaster and embarrassment to Lynne. JT wins Survivor! A fucking applicant, god damn it.
Coach, 37, Bolivar MO - Jeff calls Coach "delusional" and "probably insane" but he got through casting because he is not a danger to others
... "we won't have let him on if he owned a gun" (Probst). Hehehe - perfect. We'll cast a stereotype of you the delusional hard core fans
that think, sleep and breathe Survivor strategy and he'll be dead by Episode 5. What the fuck! The guy goes and makes it F5 and while completely full of
crap has a kind of charm that appeals to the fan who have someone they can relate to. Double Fuck. Applicant Coach is the star and Applicant JT is the winner.
Lynne hates Tocantins.
Candace, 31, Dayton OH - Lynne loved this one - an applicant who happened to be Miss Ohio 2003 and an African-American applicant to boot. Lynne filled an
applicant quota and got a Lynne favorite - someone connected to beauty pageants. If Candace had been in LA she could well have been a prefect recruit. Dead #2.
Tocantins Casting Lessons:
1) Never Again will Lynne allow Applicants on that will outshine and outlast her recruits.
Gabon (3 Applicants)
Gillian, 61, Temecula CA - no way does she make it past two and probably not her first TC. Perfect fan/applicant fodder casting. She does her job and is the
2nd out.
Susie, 47, Charles City IA - another fodder casting, overweight and a 47 year old women. No way she lives to the merge. But GOD DAMN IT. She went and made it
to 2nd Place! Gabon had 3 LA under 26 year old Lynne recruits killed at the first 4 TCs - Fuck!
Randy, 49, Eagle Rock MO - Another socially inept fodder casting representing the LALA stereotype of Red State Flyover Land angry white male misogynous and
fucking asshole Republicans. But the fucker outlasts Lynne's beloved recruits Marcus and Charlie.
Lessons from Gabon
1) Susie's longevity was a fluke but at least these three didn't distract too much from Lynne's recruits other than some time on Republican hater
Randy.
Micronesia (2 Applicants confirmed, possible 3)
In a ploy beyond cynical Lynne and SEG/CBS cast a bunch of super lame
recruits and brand them Super Fans to be sacrificed to the Favorites. The idea is to prove that fans suck. A couple of applicants are allowed on so as to avoid
the completely indefensible situation of a Super Fan season with no fan/applicants.
Erik, 22, Pinckney MI - a kid without a plan in life or a clue. Working in an ice cream store. That makes him one of those rare 1 in 10,000 Jeff says are
qualified to make Survivor. Technically he's a casting call find but I include casting call people in with other applicants. The kid makes Final 5.
Kathleen "Kathy", 45, Glen Ellyn IL - A perfect fodder casting ... crazy and clueless - she's represents what Lynne think of you - the fans. You
dumbass losers.
Lessons from Micronesia
1) Crazy fan/applicants have a slot!
China (Exact Applicants not confirmed, there weren't many)
Cast is full of LA connected types listed from various hometowns.
Steve "Chicken" Morris, 48, Marion VA - Perfect fodder casting, out of shape and a stereotyped dumb hick - like you lame losers who don't live in
LA. Not much in common with anyone. limited social skills. A rare 1 in 10,000 find among you shitheads that's worthy of getting cast on Survivor.
Denis Martin , 40, MA - a butch dyke with a mullet - precursor to Shambo. Bitch outlasts Lynne's bikinis. Was suppose to be fodder!
Lessons from China
1) Be weak!!!!!
Fiji (1 Applicant - The Big Fuck You)
Following Cook Island - a concept season that required a lot of recruiting to overcome the lack of diversity that had been on previous seasons - the wholesale
recruiting continues as it gives Lynne a lot of power and may cut costs.
Gary 55, Ramsey MN and overweight applicant fan (precursor to Tocantins/Samoa's Mike) he's there to either fall over and have to be pulled in high
drama medevac or just get eliminated in an early TC. He's a fodder casting ... which is apparently what makes a large percentage of those rare 1 in 10,000
applicants qualified to be on Survivor.
Lesson from Fiji
1) Don't bother applying ... asshole.


















