Yuku free message boards

Why don't you awful parents just teach them that the world is flat, too?

There's a website dedicated to THAT as well.

And here's a question: if you DO perpetuate this awful lie, allowing your children to exist in a fantasy world filled with magic and goodness and light and love, do you also at least make sure they know some of the presents are from YOU? Or do you give Santa ALL the credit?

Because... fuck that shit. Parents should get the credit for MORE than 50% of the gifts.




Consider also that Santa is GAY.

On the down-low, sure. But gay, gay, gay.

He's a bear. A polar bear.

He's fat, he's clearly hairy under that suit, and he hangs with elves.

Look, I'm not the first one to bring this up.

He uses his "magic" to sneak into your house and he observes your entire family sleeping. Don't think he doesn't take a peek to see if Daddy's parts have slipped out of his boxers.

Mrs. Claus stays at home, baking, baking, baking. And he's out all night long, going around the world and his reindeer cannot speak to tell what he's actually doing.

He stops off at bathhouses for quick BJs, you know.

The dude is a lecherous, old pervert. Takes one to know one so you can trust me on this.

If this is what you want your kids to believe in, fine with me.