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I have the solution - find an older man. An attractive but financially and emotionally settled older man. And by older, I mean 35 to 42, not geriatric older. You'll enter into a relationship, grow closer, feel the things you want to feel and then gain the confidence you need in the future.

That was just an example of a wrong older man. That doesn't mean you close the door on them. Clearly establish the boundaries early on. A good way to do that is to pay for some of the dates when you guys go out. Let him know you aren't willing to be just a sugar-baby from the get-go. If he's normal, he'll understand. If not, there will be another older guy who will.

You seem sensitive and perhaps a little more serious than gay guys your age, and I assume going to bars and being in an ultra-campy environment (gay clubs), hooking up with guys and then moving on the day or week after, etc., isn't your cup of tea. That's totally normal. However, since you've cut out about 80% of your age range, that's why I suggest the older guy. Some people are nesters.

You come across as having a healthy ego, so I wouldn't beat myself up about that.

He doesn't need to cut his dreads if he likes them and they are part of who he is and how he identifies himself. At your age (talking to you now, Yeaster), contrary to what old bitter queens may have said in this thread, you do not settle. You are in your prime. Even if you are having a bad spell now, it doesn't mean this will continue. Like I said, you may need to change your focus a little bit. Now, once you are in a relationship with a fabulous guy of your liking, then you will need sometimes to negotiate/barter/sacrifice, etc. Those things, however, are not settling.

If some guy doesn't like you for your dreads, then he needs someone else.

Mister Yuck wrote:

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Didn't xabana date an older man? Oh and bartering/sacrificing/negotiating IS most def. settling.

It most certainly is not. You have an unhealthy relationship, don't you?

Given Yeaster's age, I'd say that's pretty geriatrically old. Sugar Daddy relationships are bound for failure.

That's why he removes the sugar aspect.