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My 51st least favorite Buffy episode of all time:

Season 5, episode 10

Written by Marty Noxon

Buffy finds out that Riley pays money to let vampires suck on his blood. She gets upset because he doesn't wanna suck on her blood, or something. Meanwhile, some military guys showed up on my screen so I fell asleep.

Before I go any further: yes, that is a chicken's foot Anya is holding up in the picture above. That's just how awesome the show we're dealing with here actually is.

So now to the less important stuff.

On the surface, I should've hated this episode. It focuses solely on Riley and his relationship with Buffy - arguably the two worst storylines in the show's history. And if that's not enough, it takes itself way too seriously and doesn't go often enough to the genre-mixing the show usually excels at.

But oddly, I ended up really liking this episode, despite its obvious flaws.

I think it was one thing that separated it for me from the many tear-jerking sagas that came before it and after it: Usually a relationship is going so smoothly, that the writers are starting to fear that the audience would get bored with it, and so they throw in some lame excuse to split the couple up or make life harder for them. It's not hard to think of an example: Buffy and Angel's relationship was stuff fairytales are made of, but Angel needs to head off for a show of his own, and so suddenly all the hardships that were manageable suddenly become unbearable deal-breakers.

Oz and Willow were perfect for each other but Seth Green wants to pursue a movie career (we all saw how this one turned out), and so the hairy part of him suddenly becomes too hard to handle.

But this relationship was doomed in the first place. Riley was never good enough for Buffy, and Buffy never found much interest in Riley after all this Initiative phase has worn off. So instead of a good relationship having to end because of contrived reasons, we're dealing here with an excuse of a relationship that is put to rest for all the right reasons that should've prevented this relationship from happening in the first place. "Into the Woods" worked for me because while Buffy should've never hooked up with Riley, she certainly should've broken up with him, and for exactly the reasons presented here: Buffy does take Riley for granted, shutting him out and letting him in alternately, whatever's convenient for her at the moment; and Riley is inferior to Buffy and he knows it. And so it happens when neither is happy in this duo, and a separation would do good to both.

The last scene, in which Buffy chases the helicopter, I'm ambivalent about.

On the one hand, I liked that it ended in the complete opposite way than expected: on any other show Buffy would've made it just in time and the screen would've faded to black on their long-awaited kiss.

On the other hand, it was cheesy and, more importantly, irrelevant. Even if Buffy had caught up with Riley, they might have reconciled for the time being, but in the long haul, it would've never worked, for the same reasons they had split up in the first place. They just weren't meant to be, and not because Riley couldn't hear Buffy's voice over the helicopter's noise.

Like everybody else on this planet, I hated Riley and his storyline in season 4, but in season 5, I actually liked what they did with him: the storyline of Riley feeling he's not good enough was perfect because he is not good enough. So yeah, I should've hated this episode because it was all about Riley, but in actuality, I liked it because it was all about how Riley was a mistake in the first place. It was very satisfying in that aspect.

One other thing - watching Joyce coming out of the surgery seemingly back to normal, when we know what's to come, was heartbreaking.

Best parts: Xander's pep-talk, followed by Xander's long-awaited acknowledgment that he dates the greatest gal in history's history.

I liked Buffy's hug breaking the doctor's bones as well.

Worst parts: Did we really need a "big bad" this episode, especially when this so-called big bad is a vampire who runs a whore house and a couple of his friends?

Quality Quotes:

SPIKE: (quietly) Sometimes I envy you so much it chokes me. And sometimes I think I got the better deal. (sighs) To be that close to her and not have her. To be all alone even when you're holding her. Feeling her, feeling her beneath you. Surrounding you. The scent ... (louder) No, you got the better deal.

DAWN: When I was younger, I used to put my chopsticks in my mouth like this, (She puts chopsticks into her mouth so they stick out like very long fangs) and then Buffy would chase me around the house yelling, (makes claw hands) 'I'm the slayer, I'm going to get you!' (Laughs)
ANYA: That's disturbing. You're emotionally scarred and will end up badly.

ANYA [about a movie mentioned in the newspaper]: We have to see the chimp playing hockey! That's hilarious! The ice is so slippery, and, and monkeys are all irrational. We have to see this.

DAWN: 'Alone time' always translates into 'get Dawn out of the house so we can have loud obnoxious sex.'
ANYA: (softly to Xander) Oh, does that mean we can't?

Room for Debate: Do you think, had Buffy stopped Riley before he took off, that something would've changed in their dynamic, or that Riley would've still been spineless and Buffy would've still been a stuck-up distant bitch?

I actually hated Xander in this episode. His pep talk came out of nowhere, and he had no right to question Buffy letting Riley leave. It was one of those times where Xander took himself too seriously and got all self righteous, and it was just so out of character. I just thought it was unnecessary and it was annoying to watch Buffy chase after the helicopter when he was never good enough for her in the first place.

I hated Riley and his storyline, but in a way it was necessary. After the whole Angel debacle, I think the audience wanted to see Buffy with a "normal guy", and the show had to confirm that a normal guy was just not good enough for Buffy.But I think the relationship was dragged out too long, to the point where he was irrelevant in all of season 5. I would have rather seen Riley get killed in the penultimate episode of season 4, so that Buffy could mourn and get over it.

oh ehm gee wrote:

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Oh, and Bargaining Pt. 2 is awesomeness. Favorite premiere (and in fact, third favorite S6 ep behind the obvious two)

Which are the obvious 2? For me, it is Once More With Feeling and Normal Again; but I know not many people are hardcore fans of the latter. Grave?

Though I certainly wasn't in favour of Buffy staying with Riley, their relationship never really bugged me as much as it bugged most others. I agree with Riley's storyline improving in the 5th season. When he shed the initiative cheesiness and became "Buffy's normal boyfriend", he actually started coming into his own and contributing both to the plot as well as Buffy's character development (she can never make a normal relationship work). I was actually sad for Riley and rooting for him (!) earlier in the season (The Replacement?) when he so casually smiled and told Xander that Buffy meant everything to him but he knows she doesn't love him. Even more surprising... I continued rooting for him till his character left in this episode. In retreospect, yeah, the chase montage was a little cliche; but I was more endeared to it than 90% of the Buffy/Angel stuff in the first 3 seasons. Precisely because Buffy/Riley were so "real" and not an over the top romantic fairy tale couple.

Into The Woods isn't really in my top 20 or so episodes, but it deserves to be in the top half of the series IMO. Buffy not arriving in time after that long montage saved it a lot. The show showed that it was aware of certain romance conventions and worked to give itself an edge. Also, it really got the audience invested in their relationship and helped to establish the season arc. In fact, this is the 2nd of many increasingly harsh blows that Buffy takes in her personal life (the first being her mother's illness), eventually leading up to her being completely overwhelmed by the final few episodes.

Oaf wrote:

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Room for Debate: Do you think, had Buffy stopped Riley before he took off, that something would've changed in their dynamic, or that Riley would've still been spineless and Buffy would've still been a stuck-up distant bitch?

Honestly, I have a lot of trouble imagining film characters as real people. They are always defined through the writer's intention and the specific course of events they are put through. As such, I believe it is possible to have an absolutely complete understanding of their personalities, unlike people in real life. This is only true because of the limited experiences it is possible to show a character undergoing in a film. Imagining "what ifs" always work against the understanding of characters for me. I guess if something had changed and Buffy and arrived in time, they would have definitely have made up on the spot. As for long term, I don't know. Xander identified a key flaw in their relationship and Buffy showed that she was willing to work to change it by going after Riley. I would say no, it wouldn't have worked out. Riley's feelings of inferiority would always have been an issue and Buffy's role as the slayer always has a way of hindering of all of her relationships, especially the romantic ones.

As characters in a film though, I don't see how it would have been possible for it to have ended any other way from a literary viewpoint. Riley's personal arc had been on the back burner for just the right amount of time and Buffy's season storyline needed for Riley to leave so she could move on to focusing on her lone war against Glory.

My 51st favorite Buffy episode of all time:

Season 3, episode 14

Written by Douglas Petrie

Faith shows Buffy how to have fun, but when she suggests that they're above the law, Buffy protests strongly. Boy, she should've met herself four years later.

In my write-up about "Consequences", I said that it was the turning point of season 3. If that is so, then "Bad Girls" is the ground on which the turning takes place. It's in here that Buffy gets what it's like to live with the pleasures of slayage but without the responsibility, and it's here that Faith makes it clear that she has no intention of ever looking at it as anything but as a power she can use to get what she wants. This is without a doubt great material to explore, but my question is: why explore it over the course of a single episode, and stop there?

Don't get me wrong, this episode is made of win. The introduction of Wesley, one of the most unintentionally hilarious characters in the show's history (and that's without mentioning his stint on 'Angel'); Buffy's short period as a careless impulsive slut; the Mayor's interaction with the boy scouts and him putting a check mark next to "Become Invincible"; Willow adorably feeling left out of the slayer clique; the different responses of Giles and Wesley to being trapped by Balthezar ("thank god you're here, I was planning to panic", "But I'd like to have my kneecaps!"); these were all priceless moments.

I'm not denying this episode of its greatness. But it shouldn't have been one episode in the first place: it was a tactic mistake to squeeze the heart of season 3 into such a tiny part of the season. I'm aware that they've sort of explored the "what if a slayer went on a power trip" scenario with Faith, but it's not the same as exploring it with the lead character, and no, dancing at the Bronze and stealing a weapon is not enough of an exploration. If I were in charge of that season, I would've made it a multi-episode arc before Buffy and Faith part ways.

If you need proof that this kind of plot could kick major ass, just watch 'Angel' season 2. You know what, even if you don't need proof, just watch 'Angel' season 2. Trust me on this one.

And on top of the decision to shove it all into one hour of television, they throw in Balthezar as well. Like I said in the last write-up, not every episode needs a big bad, especially an episode in which the Mayor becomes invincible and Faith gets introduced as the real big bad of season 3. But even if they do decide to throw in a baddie, why does it need to be a huge veiny chunk of fat sitting in a Jacuzzi? It was a complete waste of time, and they didn't have a lot of time to waste to begin with. The only explanation I could think of is that they wanted to add insight from someone who knew the Mayor back in the day, but it could've been done much more smoothly and to the point.

With all that being said, I did like "Bad Girls" a lot, as evidenced by how many good episodes it bypassed. My problem with it doesn't have to do with what was shown in the episode; it has everything to do with what could've been, given the potential it presented.

Best part: Faith's "screw that" upon meeting her new watcher

Worst parts:everything having to do with Balthazar and his minions from the middle ages.

Quality Quotes:

WESLEY: I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself. Under controlled circumstances, of course.
GILES: Well, no danger of finding those here.
WESLEY: Vampires?
GILES: Controlled circumstances.

WESLEY: It's very nice to meet you.
BUFFY (to Giles): Is he evil?
WESLEY: Evil?
BUFFY: The last one was evil.
WESLEY: Oh, yes. Gwendolyn Post. We all heard. No. Mr. Giles has checked my credentials rather thoroughly and phoned the Council, but I'm glad to see you're on the ball as well. A good Slayer is a cautious Slayer.
BUFFY (to Giles): Is he evil?

BUFFY(to Wesley): Don't say anything terribly interesting while I'm gone.

WESLEY: Remember the three key words for any Slayer: preparation... preparation... preparation.
BUFFY: That's one word three times.

Room for Debate: considering all the life a slayer saves, does she really need to give herself in to the authorities once a mistake happens, which would prevent her from saving countless other lives?