-We choose to polytheism no one!-
-Brittany loves God!-
Brittany: I'll have you know I am an honorary member of the Celibacy Club!
And I read the bible every day =)
0 Points
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Avant Tai's The Amazing Race: The Complete Seventh Season
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 yzysg |
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Posts: 3373 (12/23/09 09:31 PM) |
Brittany: I'll have you know I am an honorary member of the Celibacy Club! And I read the bible every day =) |
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NickF227 |
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Posts: 13093 (12/23/09 09:31 PM) |
nvm
Anna loves God! |
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Destinys Champion |
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Posts: 5045 (12/23/09 09:32 PM) Registered User |
-Laura loves God!-
Laura: I love God! I'm from the South. You love Buddha more than God, so I dun' think you have the right. Jennifer: No, I don't! How ignorant! I love God too.
Last Edited By: Destinys Champion
12/23/09 09:58 PM.
Edited 1 times.
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Nimberlane |
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Posts: 6672 (12/23/09 09:32 PM) |
-Ray of Divine Light to Bethlehem Inn- (-30) 1
(53 - 30 = 23 ILS Remaining) |
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Avant Tai |
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Posts: 6996 (12/23/09 09:33 PM) Registered user |
Atheism: Who loves God? 
In this Atheism, that person will have to help fulfill God's requests by defying them. You must take 1 well known story in the Bible and alter it to include your team. This does not mean simply changing names of the story, but rewriting the story some to reflect the awesomeness and purity of your teams. Matthew, one the authors of the Bible will then collect the story, thinking it is original and fact, but instead it being completely fictional. The revised story should be at least 3 paragraphs of fun satire. After teams have handed their story to Matthew, he will hand teams their next clue. (Take a 3 paragraph Biblical story and alter it OR Write a 3 paragraph summary of a Biblical Story with your characters written and it slightly changed) 1st Elizabeth & Darcy / Unfortunate Acquaintances (TimmyTAR) 5th Darius & Marco / Best Friends (Wuming Shi) 6th Ching & Nigrella / College Friends (Thingamajig) 2nd Jennifer & Laura / Petite Models (Destinys Champion) 3rd Santana & Brittany / Cheerleaders (yzysg) 4th Nina & Anna / Competitive Sisters (NickF227) Atheism is a task only one person can believe in. A person may only do up to 6 Atheists this season. -(Name) loves God!- 7th Julien & Reggie / Art Student (Nimberlane)
Last Edited By: Avant Tai
12/23/09 09:36 PM.
Edited 1 times.
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Nimberlane |
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Posts: 6673 (12/23/09 09:34 PM) |
-We choose to Polytheism no one!
-Julien loves God!- Julien: Don't worry love. I'll finish this in a jiffy! Reggie: I trust you. <3 Julien: You don't know how happy those words make me... |
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Avant Tai |
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Posts: 6997 (12/23/09 09:35 PM) Registered user |
Shii Ann: Stupid, stupid people. Let me just say it again: STUPID PLAYERS!
Atheism: Who loves God?
In this Atheism, that person will have to help fulfill God's requests by defying them. You must take 1 well known story in the Bible and alter it to include your team. This does not mean simply changing names of the story, but rewriting the story some to reflect the awesomeness and purity of your teams. Matthew, one the authors of the Bible will then collect the story, thinking it is original and fact, but instead it being completely fictional. The revised story should be at least 3 paragraphs of fun satire. After teams have handed their story to Matthew, he will hand teams their next clue. (Take a 3 paragraph Biblical story and alter it OR Write a 3 paragraph summary of a Biblical Story with your characters written and it slightly changed) 1st Elizabeth & Darcy / Unfortunate Acquaintances (TimmyTAR) 5th Darius & Marco / Best Friends (Wuming Shi) 6th Ching & Nigrella / College Friends (Thingamajig) 2nd Jennifer & Laura / Petite Models (Destinys Champion) 3rd Santana & Brittany / Cheerleaders (yzysg) 4th Nina & Anna / Competitive Sisters (NickF227) 7th Julien & Reggie / Art Student (Nimberlane)
Last Edited By: Avant Tai
12/23/09 09:38 PM.
Edited 1 times.
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Wuming Shi |
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Posts: 6949 (12/23/09 09:37 PM) Registered User |
Adam & Eve Retold
God made a hot guy from dust and blew air into his nostrils. His name was Darius. God created a garden for lovely Darius and told him, "You can take care of it, and eat from EVERYTHING. Except that tree with the apples right there. Eat that, you will die." Darius was very capable, but he needed a helper. None of the animals would do, so God made him sleep a little and fashioned Marco from Darius's rib. The 2 would frolic and play innocently with each other, unaware of each others' physicality. There was one thing that disturbed Darius and Marco's peace in the Garden, it was a snake. The snake kept telling Marco that it was fine to eat the apple, that he would not die eating from the fruit of knowledge. He proceeds to do so with Darius, and suddenly, they realise their nakedness. Ashamed, they covered themselves with fig leaves. God punishes the serpent, and also curses Darius and Marco with hard labour and mortality. |
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NickF227 |
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Posts: 13094 (12/23/09 09:37 PM) |
Ascension (1:9)
Okay, so this is like BLASPHEMOUS. But Anna was gettin her groove on teachin people how to LIVE! But the Ninaianists did not like how she played, so they were like, WE GONNA KILL YOU. So the took a giant fucking disco stick and made her carry it up a hill. But for what? They took Nina and fucking NAILED her to the discostick. It was HORRIBLE. And like, all the teams cried! It was so sad. Then they put her in a tomb or something. But, after burying her they went back and saw it was OPEN. =O And then they looked up and Anna was fucking flying bitches! She was going with her true daddy in Heaven. God LOVES his daughter. And Nina died kthnxbai. |
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yzysg |
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Posts: 3374 (12/23/09 09:38 PM) |
Moses and the Pharoah
As legend goes, God spoke to Moses through a fiery bush. However, this is all incorrect. It was actually just Lady Gaga using her Time-Turner and hiding behind that flaming bush. In addition, Lady Gaga lit the bush using a match -.- So, Lady Gaga, wanting to pull a prank on Moses, said "You have to go confront the Pharoah! I'll be standing behind you all the way!" and so, Moses, never questioning God did. And the rest was history. Moses confronted the Pharoah with his brother Aaron, and apparently made frogs rain down and all those stuff using his staff. Uh, well, THAT'S NOT TRUE. It was actually all accidents or Lady Gaga's doing >_> Lady Gaga teleported lots of frogs from uh... Amsterdam and rained them down. It was also Lady Gaga who poured lots of water from the sky that became hail. Finally, the Pharoah let all the Israelites go after Moses used his staff and angels killed all the first-borns overnight. Well, that was just Lady Gaga who transported them all to her BIG mansion and adopted them all cause Lady Gaga loves BABIES <3 That's it. ALL YOU HAVE KNOWN WAS ALWAYS A LIE, KTHANKS. |
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Thingamajig |
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Posts: 6437 (12/23/09 09:38 PM) Registered user |
Ching: Oh, to srow, bitches!
Nigrella: Damn, this thing is getting FIERCE with a capital F, I, E, R, C and E now The Exodus of the Israelites, with Nigrella Ching: Anyway, Nigrella was tired of the Egyptians getting all up in her grill and making her do slave work, so she went up to the Pharoah and was all like "Let mah gurls go, y'all". The Phaorah would have none of this, he was such a downer. So Nigrella was all like "Let my people go now, or I'll pull some freaky voodoo shit on yo' asses". The Pharoahs would have none of this. So they locked her up and said she was going to die. Somehow she escaped. Nigrella was a good woman, so she went to God and was all like "God, can you do some freaky shit to these Egyptians because they not letting us have our freedom!" God said "They enslaved you fair and square" and Nigrella was all like "Do you WANT to see me angry?" God thought this was not a good idea, so it started raining toads, and the water turned to blood and first born sons everywhere started dying. Nigrella was adamant that this would allow them to be free. She was wrong, though. This just made the Pharoah angry. That's when Nigrella went to god again and said "God, can we just leave?". God said "Oh okay, I let you go... but you have to part the sea yourself". Nigrella glared at god, Fiercely. God said "Okay, I part the sea for you... but you have to wander the desert yourself. Nigrella agreed, and all the Isrealites crossed the river. Thankfully, Ching was on the other side, and she gave them lots of water and supplies... not a map, though. |
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Avant Tai |
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Posts: 6998 (12/23/09 09:38 PM) Registered user |
He Has Come: Teams must now make their way to the stable quickly as Mary is giving birth to Jesus! They must also bring a cool gift since gold, myrrh, and frankincense are totally lame for an awesome dude like Jesus. Lady GaGa is here already and is planning to assassinate Jesus and put a baby form of her in his place so the world may worship Lady GaGa and read the Tome of GaGa. Clearly, she needs to be put in her place, so why don't you do it? This is the seventh He Has Come. The last team to check in here will be eliminated by Him. 
-(Holy transport) to Mary & Joseph's stable- (-30) 1 -(Lame Transport) to Mary & Joseph's stable- (-10) 3 1st Santana & Brittany / Cheerleaders (yzysg)
Atheism: Who loves God?
In this Atheism, that person will have to help fulfill God's requests by defying them. You must take 1 well known story in the Bible and alter it to include your team. This does not mean simply changing names of the story, but rewriting the story some to reflect the awesomeness and purity of your teams. Matthew, one the authors of the Bible will then collect the story, thinking it is original and fact, but instead it being completely fictional. The revised story should be at least 3 paragraphs of fun satire. After teams have handed their story to Matthew, he will hand teams their next clue. (Take a 3 paragraph Biblical story and alter it OR Write a 3 paragraph summary of a Biblical Story with your characters written and it slightly changed) 1st Elizabeth & Darcy / Unfortunate Acquaintances (TimmyTAR) 5th Darius & Marco / Best Friends (Wuming Shi) {Not 3 paragraphs.} 6th Ching & Nigrella / College Friends (Thingamajig) 2nd Jennifer & Laura / Petite Models (Destinys Champion) 4th Nina & Anna / Competitive Sisters (NickF227) {Not 3 paragraphs.} 7th Julien & Reggie / Art Student (Nimberlane) |
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NickF227 |
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Posts: 13095 (12/23/09 09:39 PM) |
Uh, yes it is AT. The definition of a paragraph is a unique idea with like, 5 to 7 sentences.
-(Holy transport) to Mary & Joseph's stable- (-30) 1 23 |
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Wuming Shi |
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Posts: 6950 (12/23/09 09:39 PM) Registered User |
Adam & Eve Retold
God made a hot guy from dust and blew air into his nostrils. His name was Darius. God created a garden for lovely Darius and told him, "You can take care of it, and eat from EVERYTHING. Except that tree with the apples right there. Eat that, you will die." Darius was very capable, but he needed a helper. None of the animals would do, so God made him sleep a little and fashioned Marco from Darius's rib. The 2 would frolic and play innocently with each other, unaware of each others' physicality. There was one thing that disturbed Darius and Marco's peace in the Garden, it was a snake. The snake kept telling Marco that it was fine to eat the apple, that he would not die eating from the fruit of knowledge. He proceeds to do so with Darius, and suddenly, they realise their nakedness. Ashamed, they covered themselves with fig leaves. God punishes the serpent, and also curses Darius and Marco with hard labour and mortality. Darius and Marco were banished from the Garden, and they had to suffer hard labour throughout. They adopted 3 sons, but were anguished in knowing that their foolishness would cause the sons they loved so much to suffer. They began to ask themselves, what they had done wrong, and spent their lives trying to repent to God. They would also fight to spread Christianity to their brood, to teach them not to repeat the same mistakes they had made. |
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TimmyTAR |
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Posts: 3407 (12/23/09 09:39 PM) Registered user |
The Story of The child grew, and was weaned; and Mr. Bennet made a great feast on the day that Darcy was weaned. But Elizabeth saw the son of Caroline the Egyptian, whom she had borne to Mr. Bennet, playing with her son Darcy. So she said to Mr. Bennet, "Cast out this slave woman with her son; for the son of this slave woman shall not inherit along with my son Darcy." The matter was very distressing to Mr. Bennet on account of his son. But God said to Mr. Bennet, "Do not be distressed because of the boy and because of your slave woman; whatever Elizabeth says to you, do as she tells you, for it is through Darcy that offspring shall be named for you. As for the son of the slave woman, I will make a nation of him also, because he is your offspring." So Mr. Bennet rose early in the morning, and took bread and a skin of water, and gave it to Caroline, putting it on her shoulder, along with the child, and sent her away. And she departed, and wandered about in the wilderness of Beer-sheba. When the water in the skin was gone, she cast the child under one of the bushes. Then she went and sat down opposite him a good way off, about the distance of a bowshot; for she said, "Do not let me look on the death of the child." And as she sat opposite him, she lifted up her voice and wept. And God heard the voice of the boy; and the angel of God called to Caroline from heaven, and said to her, "What troubles you, Caroline? Do not be afraid; for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is. Come, lift up the boy and hold him fast with your hand for I will make a great nation of him." Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. She went, and filled the skin with water, and gave the boy a drink. |
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Destinys Champion |
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Posts: 5046 (12/23/09 09:40 PM) Registered User |
Noah's Ark (Laura's Ark)
Many years after creation, the people of Earth had grown greedy and evil and corrupt. G.oddess Tyra decided humanity had taken a course for the worst and needed to start over. She called upon the most upstanding citizen left named Laura to warn her of her plan. Tyra intended to destroy the Earth with an enormous flood and kill every living creature in it. Only Laura and her best friend Jennifer and their boyfriends would be allowed to survive. This is so they can reproduce with only good people. Tyra asked Laura to build a giant ark and call upon two of every living creature. Male and female. She and Jennifer went around and did this and loaded the animals into the ark. They and their boyfriends went inside while the rest of the Earth and all its evil was destroyed by the great flood. In the end, Tyra created a rainbow to tell Laura and Jennifer and all their future ancestors that she will never interfere and destroy the Earth like that again. |
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yzysg |
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Posts: 3375 (12/23/09 09:40 PM) |
-(Angels) to Mary & Joseph's stable-
Brittany: OMG Brittany, you never would have guessed what I had to do. It was TERRIBLE! Santana: What? They had you mutilate a wooden cross? Brittany: WORSE. I had to rewrite the bible! *sways to and fro* Santana: omg. BLASPHEMOUS! *shakes wildly* |
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Nimberlane |
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Posts: 6674 (12/23/09 09:40 PM) |
Moses (Julien) and How He Fucked Things Up For The Pharoah (Reggie) Big Time
So like there was this Pharoah named Reggie and she was the fiercest Pharoah of them all. She also had this lover named Julien and the two of them ruled over the Hebrew slaves with an iron fist. But then one day God like came to Julien and told him that he was a Hebrew and much lulz were had. Eventually Julien began to feel it deep inside his soul or whatever and started to act out against his beloved. At first Reggie was like "LOlz let him have his fun he knows my pootang is da best" but then eventually she got tired of his Mickey Mouse bullshit and started punishing him. Well being the royal douche he is Julien like talked to God and God was like "Lolz we'll show her there will be a bunch a plagues that'll mess her shit up real good". So then the plagues started and they all sucked major ass. People got boils on their clits and dicks. Locusts came in and raped everyone. And to top if off the first born child of everyone except for the Hebrew's caught swine flu and died. Yes, swine flu existed back then bitches. Don't fucking judge me ok?! I'M THE ONE TELLING THIS FUCKING STORY! So finally Reggie got all sad since her illegitimate child from another marriage passed away. She told Julien to take the Jews and basically GTFO. So Julien did that and they left town. But then Reggie had a major bout of PMS and decided "FUCK THEM LETS GO AFTER THEM AND KILL THEM ALL!" So she set out with her million man army of sweaty, half-naked Egyptians and they chased Julien and his loser brigade all the way to this totally fierce Sea. Julien got all mystical and shit and parted that motherfucker for him and his people to pass. When Reggie and her men tried to follow Julien decided to be a bitch and let the sea fall on them and kill them. Then he and his people wandered the dessert for like a thousand years and they were pissed at him for not having a fucking clue of where to go. Oh and sometime during that shit the ten commandments got written. THE END |
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Wuming Shi |
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Posts: 6951 (12/23/09 09:41 PM) Registered User |
Darius: *reads Marco's story* Oh God, that's depressing.
Marco: *muses* I feel better now though. I needed to let that all out. Darius: *grips Marco's hand* Marky, I promise you - we will have a happy ending. I won't let you be hurt. Marco: I know - but I don't want to damn us both with my sins. Darius: Look, man. We both had this feeling for each other. You don't owe me anything. You seriously need to stop guilt-tripping yourself. Marco: *smacks himself in the forehead* I'm so, so sorry. I've been so nerve-wracked, these last few legs... I'm such a mess. Darius: Without your smarts, we wouldn't be anywhere near this point! Besides, I think you needn't fear about God hating gays. Marco: *confusedly* Huh? Darius: *points excitedly* Look! -(Follow the angels) to Mary & Joseph's stable- (-30) 1 86 ILS remain Marco: *falls to his knees and prays* This is a miracle. Thank you, God. Thank you. Darius: *does likewise* Thank you for understanding us, and for guiding us. And most importantly, thank you for bringing Marco and I together. Marco: This is going to be thrilling! *picks himself off the floor and pulls Darius up* Come on man, I can't wait! Darius: So there you have it - God loves you! How could he not Marky, really. Marco: *cheekily* Shut up Dash, you're loved as well. Darius: Awww, dude. I knew that long ago. *their hands are held tightly together as they run for the Pit Stop*
Last Edited By: Wuming Shi
12/24/09 01:20 PM.
Edited 1 times.
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Thingamajig |
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Posts: 6438 (12/23/09 09:42 PM) Registered user |
-(Something really fast) to Mary & Joseph's stable- (75-30=45) 1 Nigrella: Oh, we gotta hoof it!!! Ching: I already tell you I don't have hooves. I not a horse! |
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