Yuku free message boards

- 17 -

THE KING OF INSANITY

SHANE POWERS

Shane Powers is perhaps the closest thing to insane that Survivor has cast. He was an integral part of the Casaya Six, and played the love interest/mortal enemy of alternabitch Courtney. He was using Survivor as an opportunity to detox from smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day, and it showed. Shane was also the OTTN character to Bruce's OTTP character, and I think we all know which one is more memorable today. Just another reason why villains > heroes all day long. Shane's favourite hobby was to go off on insane tangents and then call other people lunatics. He really had no concept of how to play Survivor, and I think if he went up in front of a jury, he would not get a vote from anyone except for maybe Courtney. But that depended on the day.

Anyways, Shane's arc was all about how much he missed his son, who he named Boston. I shit you not. It was also about how Shane was one of the worst people ever to live with, and I think that some of them were legitimately concerned for their safety. Shane was a drama queen to the nth degree, and he really should have been on some sort of All Stars. I won't get into bitching about threepeaters, but for real. Anyways, this is the Story of Shane.


Shane's Story

We get our first taste of Shane in Episode One in a confessional, and it really sets him up for the rest of the game:


"I just want to call all of these guys out for being moronic. I'm on a tribe with older men, and I don't really fit in with them. I want to smoke a cigarette.
At home, I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day. For 20 years. And I haven't had a cigarette for 31 hours. I need a cigarette. I'm fried."

So Shane flips out on his tribe about being capable of doing things without being told, which is shockingly not received well. Good job! Anyways back to his confessional where he continues. "I just need to get through this detox. I can't lash out at anybody. I can't. I can't. I can't. It is unbelievably hard and I've been here a day."

And we all immediately knew Shane would be an utter trainwreck. Thankfully, he fulfilled our wildest hopes and dreams.

In Episode Two, the entire men's tribe story is basically about Shane having a meltdown. He walks down the beach and is basically crying about missing his son and it was FOUR DAYS IN. Legit. He had been on business trips longer than that. He screams at the sky, "No more torrential downpours, SIR GOD. NO MORE OF THOSE!" And Bruce looks rather alarmed and frightened.

Anyways, then there's a tribal switch and Shane is revitalized because there are younger women for him to ogle. He immediately forms an alliance with Aras, Courtney and Danielle, creating the beginnings of the Casaya Clusterfuck. He swears on his son's life that he will be loyal.


Good thing he is a great judge of character.

Anyways, later that episode, after Casaya loses, Shane has breakdown #2, and asks everyone to vote him off. Courtney, Danielle and Aras get pissed off at this and basically box his ears and tell him to smarten the hell up, and Shane has to march back to his tribe and then go, "omg nvm sorry y'all." And this is all by Day 6. When Bruce joins the tribe and is annoying as all get out, Shane says in confessional that "Bruce is neurotic and of course I want to tell him to shut up, but y'know, I gotta let him do his thing."

And so the one-sided Bruce vs. Shane rivalry begins.

In Episode Three, Shane begins to truly lose it. He chooses a stump as his thinking seat, and asks the tribe loudly for no one else to sit on his thinking seat. When Courtney asks, "Why's it gotta be yours?" Shane flips. "BECAUSE I PICKED IT! IF YOU WANT THIS ONE, I'LL GO GET ANOTHER ONE!!!" He is legitimately so loud. He then just drops his head. I'm seriously unsure about his mental status.



Everyone's reactions:





Lul. Shane and Courtney then start talking about the fire, and Shane loudly announces, "You are out of your mind, man. You are crazy." This is after his outburst on his thinking seat. The women all look alarmed and confused, and for good reason. In Episode Four, Shane continues on a campaign against his alliancemates. This time, he targets Danielle, who is standing by the fire.


"Danielle, why do you have such an aversion to working?"

And when Danielle gets offended and in his face, Shane tries to act as the mature, calm one when he says, "Danielle, I don't want to have this conversation with you."


Cirie likes.

Casaya loses immunity in Episode Five, and they randomly switch from booting Bob to voting Bruce, so Shane decides to approach Bob for some reason and inform him he was being saved tonight. Such strategic chops! Anyways, he then swears to BobDawg he won't write his name down that night.


Oops!

The Casaya Clusterfuck then switches it back to Bruce, and Shane flips out and casts a hilarious vote for Aras at that Tribal Council, again showing what a true mastermind he is. At this rate, he could be compared to the one and only Heidi!

Anyways, Bob goes and that night Shane keeps talking about how Bruce should have been booted, and when Danielle notes that Bruce is in the shelter, Shane responds, "Don't you think I know that?!" And then Shane asks to be released from the alliance, lul.


Awkward.

Anyways, the girls happily give him his son's name back and then they randomly have to re-align because of the merge so thankfully the trainwreck continues!


Danielle: OUT! OUT!

Shane basically bullies La Mina and teases them for the rest of their stay there, which doesn't bother me much. He constantly told Terry, "If you don't win, you're gone." It was hilarious to watch, especially if you weren't a huge Terry fan.

Anyways, in Episode 10, Shane calls Cirie to the back of the tent for her to look at something medically, and greets her with this:



Cirie was less than enthused, and informed Shane that what he had was chafing. Shane apparently did not know what chafing was. What I don't understand is how someone can not know what chafing is? Tell me I'm wrong, fo'real. Anyways, he then crafts a skirt.




At that Immunity Challenge, the Survivors are given the option to either eat hamburgers or participate in the challenge. I think everyone on the planet can guess what Shane chose:



The coconut challenge comes next, and Cirie wins the reward, pissing off Shane in the process. He lips off to her, and goes and sits on the bench. When it comes time for her to choose, Shane's begging and then sulking was painful:








STONE COLD.

Anyways, he then makes a hilarious F2 with his sworn nemesis Courtney, because they realize they can't beat anyone else. This is the literal conversation:

SHANE: If you backstab me, I'll hunt you down in your little shitty apartment in Hollywood and kill you.
COURTNEY: What makes you think my apartment is shitty?
SHANE: IT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH YOU LUNATIC!!

For real, I'm not sure which one was crazier, but these two were a comedic duo who cannot be replaced.


Tweedle dumb and tweedle dumber.

That night, Bruce has a medical (bowel) emergency, and is removed, and Shane helps carry him out to the boat while naked. He checks if it's okay first, though!


The doctor looks a mite uncomfortable.

Anyways, Cirie realizes that Courtney is everyone's F2 goat and gets rid of her behind Shane's back.


Less than impressed.

He makes a quick recovery, though, when that night he remarks that it "couldn't have happened to a loopier broad." Anyways, Shane gets booted because Aras is a bit of an idiot. He was a perfect Final Two goat, and even Terry understood that. And in a shocker, Shane voted for Danielle in the finale, which I thought was hilarious on many levels, as he spent 95% of his time onscreen bitching about her. But hey, that's Shane - totally unpredictable, and totally illogical.


The Low Down on Shane

For a survivor villain to last, they need to bring something to the table to allow them to survive and to entertain us. Here's Shane's questionnaire.

CAN THE VILLAIN STAY ALIVE? If the tribes had not been switched at the beginning, Shane would have been gone. If the tribes had not merged when they did, Shane would be gone. He is a completely irrational and insane player, but he makes smart decisions sometimes (creating the Casaya Four, then six, and realizing Courtney was easy to beat).
CAN THE VILLAIN SURVIVE? He's decent in challenges, and seems to work pretty hard. He is less than impressed with the work ethic of others.
IS THE VILLAIN QUOTABLE? The things he said were outlandish and ridiculous. He loved to call people lunatics when he was clearly crazier than the rest combined.
IS THEIR EDGIC ADMIRABLE? OTTN3 - CPN5 - OTTN3 - OTT3 - CP3 - OTTN4 - CPN4 - UTR2 - OTTP3 - CPN5 - OTT3 - OTTNP4

Just a little piece of opinion. Terry being constantly OTTP in Panama is simply not reflective of the actual editing. Terry is clearly quite N in the early and middle episodes, and Edgic missed that totally. Surprise! But seriously, Shane was what made Exile Island so good (along with a few others), and he was a great character to work with. And that's why he's 17th on our Villains to Love.