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Jenn has passed away..

Jenn Lyon is my best friend. I can't say I am her's because she has a long line of people who love her and want to call her their own. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen on the inside and out. We met playing a silly game called Survivor where she was misunderstood by me because of her beautiful looks and sweet passive attitude. Something her mother told me had happend to Jenn her whole life, people judging her pretty shell. Funny how looks can be a curse.

I asked Jenn what she would like to do before she...
we never said die, Jenn is too stong to even speak in those terms. This is a person who has faught cancer face to face for almost 5years, die isn't in her arsenal. Her answer wasn't fly to the moon, or meet Madonna, it was simple and clear...
"I want us all to go to the mountains with snow all around, everyone can stay in their own seperate little cabins. We can come out and have snowball fights and spend Christmas there together." That was it.

I was there when we shaved each others heads at her first chemo treatment. I was there when she she found out the cancer had come back in her bones on my birthday when she was visiting me in Texas. We had just gotten tattoo's together on our inner arms, hers to cover where her port was inserted. I was there when she was in the hospital last year and I had 'Victoria' from Twilight give her a suprise visit. She was there for me when I moved to LA and she loaned me the money to do it. She caroled me at Christmas and I always tried to make her laugh. She always accepted me for who I am and I always tried to learn from her. I was lucky to be there a lot.

Has anyone seen Avatar? It was one of the last things Jenn and I did together. The movie looks light and cheesy - eye candy for the masses. But what we didn't know was the theme of the Na'vi people. That nothing dies. We are all energy flowing into the Earth and we are all connected. That tree roots hold the memories of the people passed, that animals can feel their ridders, that people travel through a tunnel of light when passing by while being chanted on by their tribe. As I sat next to Jenn, knowing that she had just had news of only having a short time left, I wondered how she would handle it. All this death and beauty headed at her face in all its amazing technicolor 3D glory! I looked over at her worried but she had a sirine smile on her face. From then on we talked about it everytime we saw each other. How that simple movie could make her feel..safe. We always signed our texts, " I see you". That line was spoken from Neytiri as she held the little, white, human crippled form of Jake in her big blue strong arms. It was the last thing I said to Jenn as I wrote it on a note I left on her pillow. " I see you."

Her beautiful shell was still a curse in the end. I often thought when we went to the doctors that poeple didn't take her illness or pain as serious because she was still so pretty. But it was just her Avatar. I write this not only for myself in some sort of therapy but for what Jenn believes in. In writing about this I am connecting our story to the branches. I am feeling the Earth. I am rallying the tribe to chant as Jenn passes her energy into the light.

We love Jenn!!!

I see us all in the perect snow, with our own cabins, having the biggest snowball fight. Survivors, big blue Na'vi and Jenn running in the snow with her 2 dogs jumping about her. Everybody put on your 3D glasses because this is about to blow your mind.