Yuku free message boards

LOL. Anyway here is finally #6.






























06 TOM WESTMAN
Survivor: Palau, Winner

I know Tom has gotten a lot of attention lately since he's returning for Heroes vs. Villains and whatever but this has nothing to do with that, Tom would have been this high anyway. Tom is essentially like the perfect guy and he played the best game ever on Survivor and even though I love Parvati & Aras, it's Tom who is easily the best winner ever. He dominated physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, in challenges, around camp, in the elements, everything. But he never thought he was better than everyone for it, for someone as well-rounded and dominant as he was, you would only hear that from other people and never Tom himself, although he did use it to his advantage after the merge when he was being targeted and truthfully stated that worthless whores like Katie & Ian (lol) would have been long gone had it not been for Tom's dominance and for them not to use that against him, and I totally agree. He worked his ass off so that Koror could single-handedly whoop Ulong in every way possible, every day on every planet in every galaxy. Tom is not neccesarily the most exciting Survivor character, but he was never afraid to give his opinion even if it meant clashes with others (Caryn, Ian, Jenn) because he always did what he felt was right.

Some of Tom's most memorable moments include beating Bobby Jon's ass at every challenge, picking Janu to be on Koror and then regretting it later lol, catching a shark (really, not like however Amanda did it), getting drunk off 2 sips of champagne, and bitchslapping Ian off the pole during the final IC. And Tom really is the definition of a silver fox, there are honestly very, very few male Survivors that I find more attractive than Tom. One of them is Jeff Wilson and maybe a couple others, but Tom is a really good looking guy, especially for his age (remember, 40+ for Survivor is essentially a senior citizen with dementia, no hearing and shouldn't have been on the show in the first place). Also lol at fellow classmate of Jesus, Gillian from Gabon, calling him "Tom Westerman" in some pre-show interview. Sure, Tom is an alpha male and he's not the most entertaining, dramatic or unpredictable castaway, but he's a great, respectable guy that is hot as hell and played the game with everything he had and deserved his win 100000%. Plus he voted for Ian at the F4 TC with Jenn. <333333 RIP Jenn.

TOP 5!

Sorry for the long wait again, here are #5 and #4 to fill the void, and they both have one thing in common too!

































05 TRACY HUGHES WOLF
Survivor: Micronesia, 12th Place

Tracy was someone that pre-show I had no real opinion of. I didn't think she was a real fan and her cast photo was so unlike what she turned out to be that she was just meh to me. But then I saw her list of Favorites, and I suddenly liked her a lot more. Tracy had the most bizarre, unique, strange, random as fuck Favorites list out of all the other Survivors combined. It's like she took every obscure, stupid, unheard of thing and said she liked it and 5 of its counterparts. I remember just her entries for sports and cereal were fucking hilarious. If anyone has the full list somewhere, please post it here so we can all bask in its glory again. Anyway, T-Wolf came onto the scene with an impressive MOR3 edit in the first episode and was probably the best edited fan, along with Jason. She told us she was actually a fan, she gagged about Fairplay, and her hard nipples and fake breasts were put on display for soon-to-be-friend Krazy Kathy and the rest of the world (okay, 10 million Americans and 54 trillion Canadians). In the second episode is when her MILFiness came into full force when she was able to provide shelter for her tribe of losers and forgettable mactresses (Mary, Alexis, and of course up until this point and the first 6/7 of the season, Catalie) and still look hot while doing so. If there was anyone with an underdog story on the Fans, it was certainly Tracy. She had the full package. She was a true fan, she could survive in the wild, she was smart, she was funny, she was honest, and as we would see after her sad INV dip in Episode 3, she was very strategic. In a season full of blindsides, blindsides, and even more blindsides, Tracy was a part of one of the best ones.

She basically mooed like a cow at Joel to get him to join them in getting rid of Mikey B, and it was an awesome blindside. This is when Tracy truly became a fan favorite and earned her spot for sure and showed that she was far and ahead the best Fan in all ways possible. She helped Cirie get rid of Joel and she tried teaming up with Ami to get rid of Ozzy, but it wasn't able to be done, and even though I like Ozzy (although much more in the Cooks than Micro), he forced her to go to Exile with Jason where they both were not even shown. At this point I knew Tracy's story arc was coming to a very quick end and surely enough she was gone before the merge. Regardless, Tracy is arguably the best pre-merge player ever, and a great character. She's tough, she's feisty, she goes after what she wants, she takes in poor misfits, she blindsides people, she's a MILF and she has rock hard nipples. How anyone can not love Tracy is beyond me. Like I said, Survivor's best pre-merge player EVER.

And now the last of my favorite Survivor archetype, the MILF's.


04 LAURA MORETT
Survivor: Samoa, 10th Place

Laura, Luara, or Lulu, was my pre-show favorite immediately once I saw her glorious cast picture. The flower in the hair, the green eyes, the hoop earrings, the Jesus necklace or whatever, I knew she was going to be the most unique character of the season. In a season full of stereotypes (Ben, Yasmin, Natalie, etc.), Laura stood out from the start. She was Hawaiian but lived in Oregon as a lobbyist, she was religious but rode a motorcyle, she was a grandmother but she was only 39 years old and a superb athlete. And for the record, Laura was my favorite in Samoa from the day the cast was released, up until the reunion and now. She was my favorite for 100% of Samoa's existence, and people can rarely say that about anyone. For instance, my pre-show favorites for Gabon were Corinne and Ace and neither of those losers are anywhere near this list. Anyway, Laura's edit on Survivor was a combo of two awesome edits -- the INV townsperson, and the CPN queen. Up until the second half of the game, the only times Laura was shown on screen were either when she was dominating challenges (duh), teaching yoga to all the other West Coast townspeople of Galu, cuddling with Monica, running the show behind the scenes (so behind the scenes in fact that the editors never showed us), and making mildly snippy but totally true and funny remarks about incompetent Shambo that would later be totally blown out of proportion by the editors. Anyway, Laura's edit really showed up when she was given another one of my favorite edit techniques -- being shown because you absolutely have to be. Examples: Jaime in China (being kidnapped), Sierra in Tocantins (being voted out), Sugar in Exile Island (being sent to EI every episode ever, even in Samoa she was on EI), and of course Kim Mullen in Palau (for being a boot option for 3 straight episodes). She was sent to Foa Foa by a vicious and cunty Shambo and that's where she told everyone (aka Natalie and not Liz because Liz didn't care lol) about riding Harleys, going to church, and other such Christian MILF things.

Liz was then kicked out of the book club, and no this entry isn't about Liz but to be honest I probably should have included her in this top 30. Sorry Liz, I guess you're too MOR even for an entry on an Astro list. That's pretty MOR. The merge hit with 12,000 people and Laura dominated the first two immunity challenges, especially considering she was up against strong #@@#@ like Erik, Russell, Mick, Jaison, John, and also Natalie was surprisingly good at most challenges. But Laura was the queen of all those losers. Of course we know this is when some amazing Laura moments happened, such as "He just stirred up a lot of hell, is what he did"; "Where's our sun?"; "They're better off"; and of course the awkward photos in the helicopter. Seriously, if it wasn't for the top 3 being so amazing, Laura would have to be #1. What a glorious character she was. She was Survivor's best HBIC since Ami, because she had Galu (minus Shambo) eating out of her holy hands. She was a physical threat, even as a fucking grandmother. She was smart, she was determined, she was funny. Laura delivered everything I hoped for her to be pre-show and so much more. If there were 20 Laura's on every season, we'd have a lot of great seasons. Thanks Lulu!

And now our top 3...