Yuku free message boards

The jury is the most key part of Survivor.  Spurned lovers, betrayed allies, bitter enemies, and deluded crazies get to take their one final potshot at the two who are most successful. They are without a doubt the most dramatic part of the entire game, and I often find myself liking the jury far more than I like the Final Two (or Three ugh).  The concept of seven people getting voted out of a game and those seven coming back to cast judgment upon the final two remaining has always been one that has fascinated me and has without doubt changed the face of reality TV.  This will be a comprehensive ranking of every Survivor's jury performance.  All 137 of them!  The following things will be used in consideration of ranking due to my sometimes OCD behaviour:

- thematic congruence
- arc completion
- hilarity (intentional or unintentional)
- role in jury (foreman, leader of the opposition, townspeople)
- facial reactions
- corresponding vote to speech/question

JasonSiskaLulz will be providing gifs to important speeches, because let's get srs no one cares what Rodger Bingham's face looked like as he asked Tina and Colby about their proudest moment in the game amirite?  But the tears of injustice leaking out the sides of Ozzy's eyes as he questioned Parvati as to the reason their friendship was thrown away?  That will be in the highest-quality gif you have seen on the interwebs.

I am somewhat shocked no one has ever ranked the jury performances before but it's true! And I anticipate starting a rush to rank them because of severe disagreeance with my style but hey I'm a trendsetter.  So let's get the party started I suppose.

JURORS REMAINING:

BORNEO: Jenna, Sue, Rudy
AUSTRALIA: Jerri, Elisabeth
AFRICA: Kelly, Brandon, Kim P.
MARQUESAS: John, Zoe, Kathy
THAILAND: Penny, Ted, Helen
AMAZON: Dave, Deena, Christy, Heidi
PEARL ISLANDS: Rupert, Tijuana, Christa, Jon
ALL STARS: Shii Ann, Rupert
VANUATU: Leann, Ami, Scout
PALAU: Coby, Janu, Stephenie, Gregg, Caryn, Jenn
GUATEMALA: Jamie, Judd, Lydia, Rafe
EXILE ISLAND: Courtney, Shane, Cirie
COOK ISLANDS: Candice, Jonathan, Adam
FIJI: Rocky, Lisi, Yau-Man
CHINA: Jean-Robert, Frosti, James, Peih-Gee, Denise
MICRONESIA: Ozzy, Jason, James, Alexis, Erik, Natalie, Cirie
GABON: Charlie, Randy, Corinne, Crystal, Kenny
TOCANTINS: Tyson, Debbie, Erinn
SAMOA: Erik, Kelly, Laura, Dave, Shambo
HEROES VS. VILLAINS: Coach, Courtney, JT, Amanda, Candice, Danielle, Rupert, Colby, Jerri

- 149 -



ALEX "ANGRYRITA" ANGARITA

We kick off this list with one of the most insufferable people to ever play Survivor, mainly because of this very speech (if you can call it that).  Basically, Alex was butthurt from being dominated in the game by those he viewed as his intellectual inferiors.  Omarosa, anyone?  Seriously, he was completely and totally unbearable on the jury.  Plus he was kind of stupid.  His arguments made no sense.  His prosecutorial style was downright embarrassing.  "What kind of an attorney is this?" you may ponder.  Your answer is an Ivey educated one.  Frightening. Here's his...

ACTUAL TRANSCRIPT:

Alex: Okay.  Cassandra.  Please describe a moment that you grappled the most with maintaining your integrity.
Cassandra: I think the moment that I struggled most with maintaining my integrity was once at the beginning of the game I walked in on a conversation that I walked in on that you had with Boo where it involved me and I had to really decide if I was gonna stay there and listen or -
Alex: Can you describe the conversation?
Cassandra: It was regarding eliminating me or Dreamz.
Alex: One of two things is going on Cassandra.  One, you're lying to me right now and that's not in fact the moment you struggled with most.  Or two, you cared very little in taking Stacy, pretending to like her, comforting her and nurturing her in order to gain her vote just to discard her two votes later when she was of no more use to you. So which is it?
Cassandra: Well, I think you have the situation wrong and I think Stacy can clarify -
Alex: STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! NO, STOP! I GET TO TALK!
Cassandra: You didn't let me finish!
Alex: Doesn't matter, Cassandra.  I have enough information.
Cassandra: No, I think that -
Alex: NO YOU ARE MISTAKEN CASSANDRA! STOP TALKING!
Cassandra: Well, Stacy came to me -
Alex: IS THAT NOT CLEAR, CASSANDRA? SHOULD I GET EDGARDO TO TRANSLATE IN SPANISH? No, I think we're good. STOP TALKING.  On to Dreamz.  Given that your stated goals are to help kids, riddle me this.  You cheat, you lie, and you backstab to succeed.  Why would the rats and the snakes be the role models to the kids you and I are trying to help?  Explain to me why I would endorse this view of the world?
*Dreamz explains*
Alex: Okay.  Well I would wish you luck, but unlike you I'm a man of my word, so I wish you no luck at all.  Can't run from karma forever.

lol.  How awkward is that?  Then multiply it by ten and you begin to get a taste of the discomfort I felt.  And imagine how much MORE uncomfortable it would be to be in that actual situation?  Without jivy and tribal-esque music behind it?  Just awful.

Ranking Criteria

ROLE OF JUROR: Jury foreman.  Without a doubt - he led the anti-Cassandra and Dreamz charge with the rest of the retarded Fiji cast.

ARC COMPLETION: Check.  Evolving from a douchebag into an even bigger douchebag?  Also check.

CORRESPONDING VOTE: Not a surprise.  But it doesn't make him any less awful.