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Kitty Pryde1 wrote:

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You missed the best part of Kent's "Holds it." line.  The part where right after him, the foreign broadcaster repeats the exact same reporting, only with WAY too much enthusiasm.

Oh yay, you're totally right. I did not write it because I found it difficult to transcribe the humor behind the second part, but you sum up the gag perfectly.

Anyway, the last episode before the Top 20 :

21 - Lisa on Ice


I know the episode is mostly a Lisa-centric but I couldn't help but post this cap of Milooser.

Principal Skinner organizes a special assembly with the Elementary School students to tell them which class they are failing. Everyone is surprised to hear Lisa's name and she discovers with horror that she is failing gym class. To resolve this problem, Lisa must join a sports program outside of school, but she doesn't find any sport where she can kick ass.


"Children, that was our only ball. They'll be no team this year."

One day, The Simpsons goes to see Bart play hockey. After the game, Bart shoots garbage at Lisa with his hockey stick. Apu, the coach of Bart's rival team, notices that Lisa is a natural at hockey goal tending. He decides to maker her a goalie for his team. She quickly becomes an offensive player and she leads her team to victory several times.



Bart and Lisa develops a strong rivalry mostly due to Homer's pressure. Of course, Bart's team has to play against Lisa's team.



There's four seconds left and the game is tied. Bart has to attempt a penalty shot against Lisa. Both start to remember fond memories of their childhood where they were working together and loving each other.



Bart doesn't shoot and he embraces his sister in a hug. The match ends in a tie. Marge is proud of her kids while Homer is sobbing at the fact that both of his kids are losers.


True Brother-Sister's love <3

Most touching episode ever ? I think so. Well, to be honest, the most touching episode according to me will be the next episode to appear, but I can pretty much say that Lisa on Ice and the next episode are tied, since I like them equally and I had a hard time choosing which one would not be in the Top 20.
So yay, the plot of the episode is about Lisa and Bart's relationship and the hockey is just an opportunity to develop the storyline, so it's not really a "sport episode". The reason why I love this episode so much is because I have a little sister and we basically share the same relationship than Lisa and Bart : sometimes we're friends, sometimes we're "crime accomplices", sometimes we hate each other but in the end we still like each other (the funny thing being that I'm closer to Lisa's character while my sister is closer to Bart's personality). But let's stop talking about me, because I think every person who only has one sibling probably share Lisa and Bart's relationship.
The main plot is really strong but there's also a lot of funny moments, the most random one being Marge's obsession over Milhouse's teeth. I also like Homer in this episode. It's true that he acts like a jerk but I still find him funny, especially when he goes to the locker-room and does this :




I like Uter by the way (I mention it because I don't know if I'll be able to say it with the episodes in the Top 20).

The Reviewer's stupid remark :

From Mr. Charles D. Hall :

Grrrr! Who was responsible for last night's monstrosity? He should be forced to apologize on the air, and then be fired from the show, sterilized, and sent to live like an animal in the sewers below Los Angeles for the rest of his life.

Wow, that's a really constructive remark with a lot of arguments. Seriously, I don't know who are all those reviewers on The Simpsons Archive web site, but most of them have bad taste and are dishonest. In other words, they suck.

Good Quotes :

Jimbo: Nice PJs, Simpson. Did your mommy buy 'em for ya?
Bart: Of course she did. Who else would have?
Jimbo: All right, Simpson, you win this round.

Edna: OK, it's book report time. We'll do them alphabetically. Today it's A through M.
Bart: I'm saved! I love being a S-s-s-s-simpson.
Edna: Let's see, we have no A's, so let's go right to the B's. Bart?
Bart: Huh?
Edna: Hah!

Skinner: *over PA* Attention, this is Principal Skinner, your principal, with a message from the Principal's Office. All students please proceed immediately to an assembly in the Butthead Memorial Auditorium. *to himself* Dammit, I wish we hadn't let the students name that one.

Teacher: Tell you what, Simpson: I won't fail you if you join one of those peewee teams outside the school.
Lisa: You mean those leagues where parents push their kids into vicious competition to compensate for their own failed dreams of glory?
Teacher: Look, I don't need this. I inhaled my favorite whistle this morning!

Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot-oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such-and-such.

Man: In that case I sentence you to a lifetime of horror on Monster Island. *to Lisa* Don't worry, it's just a name.
*Lisa and others are chased by fire-breathing monsters*
Lisa: He said it was just a name!
Man: What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula.

Milhouse: Hey Bart, if Lisa's better than you at hockey, does that mean you're going to become better than her at school?
Bart: Maybe I will, Milhouse. Maybe I will.
*in class, Bart grins and puts up his hand*
Edna: Who can tell me the capital of Spain? Bart Simpson?
Edna: *later* The square root of 36? Bart Simpson?
Edna: *later* Who freed the slaves? Bart Simpson?
Edna: *later* Bart Simpson?
Edna: *later* Bart Simpson?
Edna: *later* Bart Simpson, will you stop raising your hand? You haven't had one right answer all day.
Bart: Sorry.

Marge: You caught me at a real bad time, Moe. I hope you understand I'm too tense to pretend I like you.
(Marge bashing Moe <3)

And "Me fail english ? That's unpossible!" has to be the most overrated quote of the show.


Clue for the next entry : As I said, it's a touching episode about the Simpsons' family.

20 - Mother Simpson



Homer fakes his death with Bart's help so that he does not have to work. The news of Homer's death quickly spreads.



Annoyed, Marge orders Homer to get the whole misunderstanding sorted out. Homer goes to the Springfield Hall of Records has an argument with a man who claims that Homer's mother is alive. Homer goes to what he believes is his mother's grave and discovers it belongs to another man. During this visit at the cemetery, he finally has an emotional reunion with his mother Mona Simpson.



Homer takes her mother home where she bonds with the kids, especially Lisa. Lisa and Bart then find several driver's licenses with different names. Lisa thinks Mona is a con artist. The whole Simpson family confront Mona and so she explains why she left Homer.



One night, Mona joined a group of hippies and detonated an "antibiotic bomb" inside Mr Burns' lab, killing all the germs (and curing Young Wiggum's asthma). Burns managed to identify Mona forcing her to go into hiding. After this story, Mona takes Homer to the post office where Burns recognizes her and calls the FBI. Thanks to Patty and Selma's help, the FBI and Burns invade the Simpson home but Homer and Mona manage to escape thanks to a tip-off from a grateful Wiggum.



Once again, Morna is forced to go into hiding. She and Homer say goodbye to each other. Mona leaves and Homers stays alone.


Saddest ending in the history of the show. If you were not sad when you saw that, then you have no heart.

Random fact about this episode : At the end of the episode, Mona's voice is done by Pamela Hayden because Glenn Close wasn't able to say "d'oh!"
So I really like this episode because it's about a touching subject : your mother's love. I ranked it higher than Lisa on Ice because I feel like this episode is sadder. The only thing I don't like in Mother Simpson is the beginning with Homer faking his death, which is pretty stupid I think.
Mona Simpson's character is perfect. I like her design, her voice (of course, Glenn Close <3) and her personality. I like the fact that the writer did not make her an over-the-top character but a down-to-earth one. I also read that the writers tried to find the least violent crime they could think of for Mona's crime. I heard Mona Simpson came back in another episode but I did not see it, I hope the character was not ruined.
I also love the plot and how the story goes, with events occurring in the past having an impact in the present (Wiggum's asthma being cured). It's really a wonderful episode and the reason why it's not higher is because it's probably not as fun as the rest of the top 20.

This episode also features one of my favorite gag : When Mr Burns comes to have Mona Simpson arrested, he tries to play a tape of Ride of the Valkyries. However, it turns out that Smithers had taped over it with Waterloo by ABBA I love this gag because Ride of the Valkyries is my favorite piece of classical music and Mr Burns' look during ABBA is priceless :



Good Quotes :

Carl: Oh no! He's going over the falls!
Lenny: Oh good. He snagged that tree branch.
Carl: Oh no! The branch broke off!
Lenny: Oh good. He can grab onto them pointy rocks.
Carl: Oh no! Them rocks broke his arms and legs.
Lenny: Oh good. Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him.
Carl: Oh no! They're biting him, and stealing his pants.

Lisa: This is so weird. It's like something out of Dickens...or "Melrose Place".

Homer: Any undelivered mail for Homer J. Simpson?
Man: No. Oh wait, this. *lifts huge sack of parcels* That's what happens when you don't tip your letter carrier at Christmas.

Burns: I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?
Kid: Uh, I better look in the manual.
Burns: *groans* Oh, the ignorance.

Friday: Are you sure this is the woman you saw in the post office?
Burns: Absolutely! Who could forget such a monstrous visage? She has the sloping brow and cranial bumpage of the career criminal.
Smithers: Uh, Sir? Phrenology was dismissed as quackery 160 years ago.
Burns: Of course you'd say that...you have the brainpan of a stagecoach tilter!

Cabbie: Yeah, I might have seen her.
Gannon: *typing* Well, according to our computer aging program, she should look about... *turns screen around. it has a giant 25 on it* ...25 years older.

Gravedigger: Yep, I saw her. That is to say, I seen her. She seemed like a nice lady.
Burns: Well, that nice lady set the cause of biological warfare back thirty years!
Smithers: We're only now finally caught up.

Lisa: Grandma, have you ever thought about moving back to Springfield?
Homer: You could live with Grampa again.
*everyone, including Abe, laughs*
Abe: Oh, I'm a living joke.



Clue for the next entry : Return of URSS

So I wrote an update just yesterday and Yuku fucked it up. Now here it is :

19 - Simpson Tide



Homer is fired from the power plant after being responsible of an umpteenth incident. At home, he sees a recruitment ad for the Naval Reserve and he decides to enlist. His friends Barney, Moe and Apu join him.



At the same time, Milooser becomes cool since he got an earring. An impressed Bart gets his ear pierced too. Homer is far from being please with what Bart did.



Homer and co soon graduate from boot camp and they are placed on board a submarine for whatever reasons. When Homer says goodbye to his family, he also has an argument with Bart. Bart removes the earring and gives it to Homer. The submarine's captain takes a shine to Homer and makes him the man in charge when the Captain goes to check on a problem in the torpedo hatch. When an enemy submarine approaches, Homer orders to fire a torpedo. The captain is fired at the other submarine.



Homer's sub ends up in Russian waters, which leads to the reformation of the Soviet Union.



The US Navy drops depth charges on Homer's submarine. The explosion causes a pinhole leak in the wall. Homer saves the day by using Bart's earring to plug the leak. In the end, Homer only receives a dishonorable discharge and he then forgives Bart (since the earring saved his life).


So this episode is partly based on Crimson Tide but apparently the original episode pitch was made before the film was released O_O. I didn't see this movie so I can't tell if the possible references in the episode are funny or not.
Still, it's a fantastic episode with a lot of good sequences and scenes. The part where Russia becomes Soviet Union again is hilarious, especially Lenin's revival and I also love Smithers dancing with the Village People on the submarine. But my favorite scene remains the one where Homer goes to the Naval Recruitment Office.



Recruiter: Just fill out this form, and you're on your way to the reserve.
Homer: There's a question that's crossed out.
Recruiter: Well... due to a recent presidential order, we're not allowed to ask that particular question.
Homer: I think I can make it out! *reading* "Are you a homosex..."
Recruiter: For God's sake, don't answer that, I could go to jail!
Homer: But I'm not a...
*The Recruiter covers his ears and starts singing.*
Recruiter: La, la, la, la, la, la, la, I am not lis-ten-ing! La, la, la, la, la...*he leaves*
Homer: Nice fella. I wonder if he's gay?

LOL so much.

This episode is very particular because it comes from the ninth season but I always felt like it was an earlier episode. It's strange but there's an atmosphere which looks like season 5/6. Weird.
The plot is great because there's an actual story and Bart's subplot has a purpose at the end. So overall, it's a pretty strong episode. And it features Barney's mother :

<3
She looks like Barney with a wig and make-up

The only thing I didn't like is Homer's dream at the beginning. It was too unnecessary.

Good Quotes :

Smithers: Uh, sir, we found the problem. Some idiot threw this in the reactor core.
Homer: Success!
Burns: You did this? How could you be so irresponsible?
Homer: Eh... it's my first day!
Burns: Since I've never seen you before, maybe it is your first day. Very well, carry on!
Smithers: Sir, that's Homer Simpson. He's been working here for ten years!
Burns: Ohh, really? Why did you think you could lie to me?
Homer: It's my first day!
Burns: Well, why didn't you say that be...Yawoo! You're fired!

Homer: Not to worry, honey. We live in a highly technological age where fighting a war is as simple as turning off a light!
*he claps his hands together twice and looks at the lamp. He continues clapping.*
Marge: We don't have a clapper.
Homer: Sorry, I can't hear you Marge, I'm clapping.

Drill Sargeant: All right, Simpson. I don't like you, and you don't like me.
Homer: I like you.
Drill Sargeant: Um, all right. You don't like me, but I don't like you.
Homer: Maybe you would like me if you got to know me.
Drill Sargeant: What are you, a comedian?
Homer: Well, I'm no Margaret Show! But I do a pretty fair Columbo impression.

Skinner: Young man, the school dress code specifically forbids the wearing of earrings unless you're of Gypsy obstraction.
Milhouse: Well, uh, I'm a Gypsy.
Skinner: Oh, really! Prove it.
Milhouse: Uh, I vant to suck your blood!
Skinner: Uh-uh, that's a vampire. But, uh, they're also covered. Carry on.

Lisa: An earring, how rebellious! In a conformist sort of way.

Bart: Come on, Dad. Didn't you ever do anything wild when you were a kid?
Homer: Well, when I was ten I got my ear pierced. But this is completely different!

Abe: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star!



Clue for the next entry : The last Lisa-centric of this ranking.

WylDawg wrote:

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How can you include Simpson Tide and not bring up one of the most funniest gags in the show's history?? I'm talking about the bit where Barney says the submarine is filling up with a clear non-alcoholic liquid.

Here you go :

Barney: May day, may day! The engine room has sprung a leak! It's filling up with a clear, non-alcoholic liquid!
Homer: You mean water?
Barney: Yeah, that's it.

I always love the funny Springfield Shopper front pages, but this one I think is one of the funniest.

It's my favorite.

Also, am I the only one who can't see the screencaps anymore ?
ETA : It must be a problem with Mozilla Firefox since I can see the pictures with IE.
  

18 - Lisa's Date with Density



During one of his visit, Superintendent Chalmers discovers his brand new car's hood ornament missing. It is quickly discover that Nelson is the culprit. As a punishment, Nelson is forced to work with Groundskeeper Willie. During a music lesson, Lisa looks outside at Nelson and she's given detention as a result. She continues to watch him and realizes she has a crush on Nelson.



Lisa reveals Nelson she loves him. At first Nelson doesn't care and he seems indifferent even though he agrees to visit her house. Lisa is resolved to turn Nelson into a sweet young man. Meanwhile, Homer finds an autodialer and takes it home. He uses the autodialer to scam everyone in Springfield. During a date, Nelson and Lisa share a kiss.

However, Nelson's friends convince him to come along with them to Skinner's house. They throw rancid coleslaw at the Principal's house.

When Skinner phones the police, Nelson decides to take refuge with Lisa, and telling her he's innocent. Lisa believes him but Nelson lets the truth slip. Lisa understands that she can't change Nelson and she ends their relationship, much to Milhouse's relief. 



First, the title of this episode is  Poor Nelson.

I remember I had seen an episode where the Simpson family go to a ranch to escape Homer's song and Lisa fall in love with a young guy living in the ranch. I hated this episode. So when I heard the speech of Lisa's Date with Density, I wasn't pleased. I though it would be a terrible episode destroying Nelson's character. I was so wrong on every levels. It's a great episode with a lot of gags and it's my favorite Lisa's centric (though you can argue the episode features Nelson as much as Lisa).
I don't really find the plot to be stupid because people falling in love with a bully happen often (Stockholm syndrome anyone ? Well, it's not exactly the same thing...). It's also a kind of "girl fall in love with the bad guy when there's a good guy who already loves her" plot. As I read in a review of the episode, something funny at the end of the episode is that Lisa learns at 8 what other women still haven't figured out : You can't change a man.
What I also like in Lisa's Date with Density is that the writers did not forget that Milhouse is in love with Lisa. It gives us a lot of great scene, particularly the "secret note" gag. It's maybe my favorite gag in the episode. To cut a long story short, Lisa tells Milhouse she's in love with Nelson. Since Milhouse is in Nelson's class, she gives him a note and asks Milhouse to give it to Nelson. In class, Nelson receives the note and reads :


Guess who loves you ?


HI-LA-RIOUS

Nelson shows in this episode that he has a kind of talent :

Joy to the world the teacher's dead!
They barbecued her head!
What happened to her body?
We flushed it down the potty
And 'round and 'round it goes
And 'round and 'round it... goes...

Also, I always complained about subplots in the other entries but this episode features my favorite subplot in the show : Homer and the telemarketing scam. It's funny, provides a lot of good lines and gives us a great scene between Ned and Maude. Best.Subplot.Ever

Good Quotes :

Skinner: I'll tell you something that's not so funny.  Right now, Superintendant Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl.
*everybody laugh*
Skinner : I guess it is a little funny.

Skinner: All right, Mr. Smartenheimer, that does it.  First, you're going to give back everything you've stolen.  Then, I'm sentencing you to one week of the lowest, most degrading work known to man - janitorial work.
Willy: Ah, geez.  I'm standing right here, sir.

Sherri: She was looking at Nelson!
Kids: *taunting* Lisa likes Nelson!
Milhouse: She does not!
Kids: *taunting* Milhouse likes Lisa!
Janey: He does not!
Kids: *taunting* Janey likes Milhouse!
Uter: She does not!
Kids: *taunting* Uter likes Milhouse!
Mr. Largo: Nobody likes Milhouse!

Lisa *writing "I will not be a snickerpuss" on the blackboard* : Oooh.  How does Bart do this every week?

Lisa *about Nelson* : He's not like anybody I've ever met.  He's like a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a vest.  He sure is ugly, though.

Lisa: Nelson!  Um... that note Milhouse gave you?  It wasn't from him. It was from... me.
Nelson: You?!  Why would you like me?  No girls like me.  *pause* Are you wearing a wire?

Marge: When I first met your father, he was loud, crude and piggish. But I worked hard on him, and now, he's a whole new person.
Lisa: Mom...?
Marge: He's a whole new person, Lisa.

Dolph: Oh, man!  You kissed a girl!
Jimbo: That is so gay!


Ned: *sleepy* Howdily-diddely.
Phone: Greetings, friends.  Do you wish to look...
Ned: *hangs up*  Oh, it's that darn recording again.
Maude: Of course it was.  It's been calling all night.  Just unplug the phone.
*Ned turns out the light. The phone rings again*
Ned: Howdily-di...
Phone: Greetings, friends... *Ned hangs up*
Ned: Dang!
Maude: I told you to unplug the phone.
Ned: But it could be my mother! *the phone rings* Howdy...
Phone: Greetings, friends...
Ned: *hangs up* Shoot!
Maude: That is it, Ned!  If you don't unplug that phone right now, you're sleeping on the lawn.
Homer: *outside his window* Will you two shut up?!  People are trying to sleep!
*Later*
Ned: Howd...
Phone: Greetings, friends...
Maude: Ned, did you plug that phone back in?
Homer: Shut up!

Skinner: Who's out there?  Give me your names so I can tell the police.

Homer: Hey, who shot the auto-dialer? *sees police* ... Marge's auto-dialer.
Wiggum: See you in court, Simpson.  Oh, and uh, bring that evidence with you.  Otherwise, I got no case, and you go scot-free, you know.



Clue for the next entry : 200