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KITTY'S NEXT FOUR:

244. Melissa McNulty (Survivor: Fiji - 20th Place)

Best Moment: Beating the ever-loving shit out of Rocky to the point where he got brain damage and she got kicked off the show.  (Note: May not have actually happened.)

Man I wish they had shown that footage of Rocky bleeding on the beaches of Fiji, production having to wrestle Melissa off of him and then tazing her as she refused to go down, running and convulsing along the length of the beach.  It's a wonder no one died.  But seriously, Melissa will go down in history as the reason why Fiji had an odd number of castaways, and a potential reason why the season sucked as a whole.  But really, aside from quitting before the game even began, thus robbing us of the chance to see a world-class meltdown by a hot chick, as opposed to one by Kathy two seasons later, Melissa doesn't seem that bad.  She was actually attractive, unlike Jessica, and she could've easily been such a wonderful trainwreck.  Hell, her quitting might've even spared us from a second race-based season in a row, which is what ruined Cook Islands, because the whites were strong and thus the producers needed to rig the game against them so they didn't look like racist idiots (despite casting based on stereotypes).  Overall, Melissa really marks the line between people I disliked and people that just mildly annoyed me, and it's a fine line.  One that a pre-game quitter represents nicely.


243. Austin Carty (Survivor: Exile Island - 9th Place)

Best Moment: Can't think of one.

Sadly, Austin was the hottest guy in his season, although I suppose Terry gives him a run for his money as a supreme DILF.  Austin was pretty bland, but that's probably because he was part of NuLa Mina, which is, without question, the blandest tribe of all time.  Anyway, Austin got into a strong alliance of men early, which dominated the tribe because heaven forbid the women actually stand a chance.  He had an option, very early on, of voting out weak link Ruth Marie, who wasn't really aligned with anyone but Dan, or taking out Misty because she and Sally wanted to team up with Nick and Austin, and the boys chose to boot Misty.  Smart thinking there.  Especially since Ruth Marie, not Sally, was next.  Anyway, Austin made the merge without numbers, but he was smart enough to throw the first immunity challenge, unlike Nick, who wound up paying the price by being viewed as a threat.  Unfortunately for Austin, he's a dumbass, and tells people he threw the challenge, thus making his whole sacrifice meaningless.  He was voted out next after spending a hard night alone on Exile Island with Danielle.  And then, to further compound his sexism from La Mina, he forgot all about his time with Danielle and wound up giving Aras his vote in one of the saddest votes ever.  Still, he seemed like a nice enough guy.  I just probably should've ranked him lower.


242. Jacquie Berg (Survivor: Gabon - 15th Place)

Best Moment: Can't think of one.

Well, the rest of the Onion alliance has been out for quite some time now, yet Jacquie remains pretty much because A. she was less of a bitch than the rest of those assholes, and B. I feel sorry for the way she went out, because she really seemed like she was in a good position pre-swap, even having alliances with Sugar/Ace just in case the Onion thing didn't work out.  She was just a sweet, yet bland girl that I felt like I was originally going to hate because of how she spells Jackie (It's JACKIE.  None of that Q shit, got that?)  She aligned with the Onions because they were young and attractive, as was she, kinda (mainly she was a butterface).  She got no screentime for three episodes, but when the tribes swapped, she got stuck on Fang, and rather than target Kelly as a weak link or Ace for stirring up trouble, the tribe just targetted Jacquie because Kelly was mad at her and because Jacquie was weaker in challenges than Ace.  Now, it pissed me off that Jacquie went out that way, given that G.C. and Kelly were out next, so she must've been pissed that they took her out, just to completely reverse their decision on who needed to go the very next round.  Overall though, she had shitty friends, and she was bland, so she can't rank higher.


241. Gregg Carey (Survivor: Palau - 6th Place)

Best Moment: Blindsided at the final 6.

Gregg is the first member of the ignored Koror tribe to make this list, and I'll do my best not to make fun of his showmance because that wound still hurts.  I'll just pretend he was showmancing Caryn, because that makes it ten time funnier.  Gregg basically was a generic white guy that did nothing other than be part of an alliance with Tom/Ian/Katie, essentially replacing Steph, who they really wanted on their team.  He had a showmance with CARYN which wasn't quite as bad as Jeff/Kim, because at least Gregg and CARYN were nice enough people.  Then Gregg kept having these great plans to gather a bunch of people together and overthrow Tom, yet his plans seemed to include Coby...even after Coby was eliminated, which was his reasoning behind booting Steph, rather than working with her to take down Tom's alliance.  He won reward and basically signed his own death warrant because he had to take his girl, CARYN, on reward with him, and he also wanted to court Katie for her vote, leaving Tom, Ian, and Caryn alone to plot against him.  He was blindsided, and since Ian was weak-willed and the women were just weak, there was no one left to prevent Tom's dominance, giving us the most predictable final tribal council EVER.  Hmm...maybe Fiji's was more predictable, but even there, you couldn't have expected a blowout.  So basically, Gregg got greedy, waited too long to make a move, and then left CARYN hanging.  Asshole.