it's not like it's the Presidency we're voting on.
Can Paula please run for presidency next term?

*walks up to podium, reading off of notes*

"It's come to my attention that *ten second pause* a lot of Americans have disagreed with my decision to *adjusts boobs in corsett* have a draft. As you all know, we've been short on *scratches ass* troops in BOTH Iraq and China.

Vice President Randy: Yo, dawg, 'sup Paula, we haven't gone to war with China!

Paula: ....Shit. OH, WAIT! NO WONDER! I was reading off of these cue cards, see? It must have been a typo. *shows notes to camera, as there's nothing there except for a colorful drawing of a unicorn and a painkiller pill*