I used to be one. A furniture guy, that is. This was when I was younger and could move freely without daily cortisone injections into my spinal column...
Furniture guys are used to being stiffed on a tip. But we greatly, deeply appreciate it.
If just dumping off an end table or a leather recliner, we understand if the customer doesn't consider tipping for a two-minute in and out kind of deal.
But setting up a complete bedroom suite... yeah, we are anticipating SOMETHING.
Start by offering a beverage. Give us REAL GLASSES, not plastic, because plastic insinuates that you consider our mouths filthy and disease-ridden and that you will immediately bag the plastic cups into biohazard containment receptacles as soon as we leave. Have a fruit juice on hand, some soda, maybe iced tea and, of course, water -- so that we may choose what we prefer. Most men will opt for soda or water, but you can never be too prepared.
The tips should be in the twenty to thirty dollar range, considering recent inflation and the cost of gas.
Split this up accordingly between however many men come to your home. Probably just two.
If they are taking away your old, lice-infested, urine-stained mattress... you can either add another ten-spot OR at the very least express your gratitude PRIOR to the old mattress leaving your home, so that the men at least get a hint that maybe they are going to get some cash, too.
You may want to hand them their tip when you give them the icy beverage. Just set the bills down and tell them to "go get lunch." If they arrive after the lunch hour, suggest coffee or whatever bullshit you can think of. By tipping them BEFORE they get down to work setting up your new bedroom set, you'll be certain that they won't leave some bed slats just a little bit loose so the whole structure comes crashing down the first time you make vigorous love on your new bed.
Do not feed them or they'll keep coming back.
I understand the TMJ limits your oral capacity, so probably blowing two men in one afternoon is going to cause you some serious pain. Don't worry, they'll understand and will eagerly accept a quick hand-job instead.
Furniture guys are used to being stiffed on a tip. But we greatly, deeply appreciate it.
If just dumping off an end table or a leather recliner, we understand if the customer doesn't consider tipping for a two-minute in and out kind of deal.
But setting up a complete bedroom suite... yeah, we are anticipating SOMETHING.
Start by offering a beverage. Give us REAL GLASSES, not plastic, because plastic insinuates that you consider our mouths filthy and disease-ridden and that you will immediately bag the plastic cups into biohazard containment receptacles as soon as we leave. Have a fruit juice on hand, some soda, maybe iced tea and, of course, water -- so that we may choose what we prefer. Most men will opt for soda or water, but you can never be too prepared.
The tips should be in the twenty to thirty dollar range, considering recent inflation and the cost of gas.
Split this up accordingly between however many men come to your home. Probably just two.
If they are taking away your old, lice-infested, urine-stained mattress... you can either add another ten-spot OR at the very least express your gratitude PRIOR to the old mattress leaving your home, so that the men at least get a hint that maybe they are going to get some cash, too.
You may want to hand them their tip when you give them the icy beverage. Just set the bills down and tell them to "go get lunch." If they arrive after the lunch hour, suggest coffee or whatever bullshit you can think of. By tipping them BEFORE they get down to work setting up your new bedroom set, you'll be certain that they won't leave some bed slats just a little bit loose so the whole structure comes crashing down the first time you make vigorous love on your new bed.
Do not feed them or they'll keep coming back.
I understand the TMJ limits your oral capacity, so probably blowing two men in one afternoon is going to cause you some serious pain. Don't worry, they'll understand and will eagerly accept a quick hand-job instead.
