Ok, so get rid of the stormy night cliche and put more detail about the sandwich. I'll make it a blustering cold day instead and the sandwich is a ham sandwich on rye bread with mustard.

How did everyone like my twist at the end? I have to kill the policeman because he's a murderer but I'm also a murderer and we somehow meet like it was fate, then I shoot him in the face. Should I add more characters to the story like a little sister or a cat?