It was a fucking awesome wrench.

And no coats clearly because they hated us. Either that or they were insanely strict. Did I mention that the church was a cult? My mom used to take my older sister and I door to door in our Sunday best to whore out our church. "Come join our church!" translated to extra cookies with our grilled cheese.

How people can be abstinent until marriage boggles my mind...Who wants to commit to a relationship with someone unless you know the sex is going to be good


Maybe because there are people out there who aren't as superficial as you are and believe that it is more important to have a spiritual connection (that translates into love) rather than a physically gratifying one? And um, because they don't want to go to hell?

Didn't work out that way for me, but I admire anyone who puts their Bible where their vagina is.