Disciples of Jonathan Christ,

I have recently witnessed a vision of our Lord. He was watching a man penetrate a watermelon...




WITH PLAYING CARDS!!!

I was looking at an article on cracked.com about people with useless talents and in this article was a video of a man who threw playing cards at blazing speeds. And I thought mine eyes had deceived me, because who did I see slowly revealed to be in the audience but our Lord and Savior himself! Fast forward to the 1:17 mark to see his glorious majesty.



Surely our Lord was in attendance to recruit the man for his Holy Army.

Praise be!