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Bumping for Episode 5 - Read up on 1-4 to get caught up. Sorry it took so long!

I let you off easy! ;)

After I stopped writing for a month due to my involvement in an online game that shall remain unnamed for lock-threat-purposes, I finally finished EPISODE 5! Enjoy!

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Previous Episodes:

Episode 01 - The Breast Is Yet To Come
Episode 02 - Can You Feel The Ox-Citement?
Episode 03 - Lysdexia Borealis
Episode 04 - This Ain't Your Mama's Chess

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PREVIOUSLY ON “SURVIVOR: REALITY STARS”

-        Janelle, Scott, Colin, Alan and Kathy became a third tribe – Saci – competing against Caipora and Iara.
-        At the Immunity Challenge, Caipora and Iara ganged up on Saci, sending them to Tribal Council.
-        A confident Colin was shocked to find out his ex-Caipora buddy Alan voted against him.
-        Colin became the 4th person voted out of Survivor: Reality Stars

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EPISODE 5 – “SUSPENDED HARNESS FROM HELL”

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CAIPORA TRIBE



IARA TRIBE



SACI TRIBE

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DAY 13

SACI CAMP

        “Fuck y’all.”
        Scott was evidently bitter – Up until Anne read the last vote for Colin the night before he had been sure that Janelle was going home. Alan had reassured him on several occasions that such was the plan, so when his vote was revealed to be for Colin and not for Janelle, Scott felt betrayed by Alan – he was now next in line.
       
        SCOTT: Y’know, I been done ova in this game. Alan done betrayed me, so my game wit him be done. Now I’ma just BLAAZE through this Immunity and hope we win, cuz if we don’t I’ma go next.

        Rather than putting up a front and faking niceness to his tribemates, Scott took the alternate road and was purposefully distant from all three, especially Alan.

        ALAN: I did what I did because, no doubt about it, I was at the very bottom of the Caipora Monarchy, maybe a little bit above Sam. I knew that once we got down to the 5 of us, Sam was first to go and I was right behind him. So when we came here, the three of us guys had the clear majority over Janelle and Kathy, but I’m looking at my own Survival and not that of an alliance which would’ve booted me off at the F4. I’m in this for the long haul.

        Alan did seem to take his own decision a little bit harder than he expected – However he tried to spin it, he liked Colin and Scott, and voting for either had been difficult. Still, he also liked (and was liked by) both Janelle and Kathy, and since Scott was being such a useless waste of space anyway he didn’t feel particularly bad.

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DAY 13

CAIPORA CAMP

        Out of all three tribes, Caipora had definitely had it the easiest. Out of four Immunity Challenges they had only lost one, so their strategizing had been reduced to a minimum.
        Because the ex-Caiporans who were now on Saci had a clear voting majority, Stephenie was relieved that no members of her monarchy would be going home and didn’t give the matter of the Saci Tribal Council from the night before a whole lot of thought.

        STEPHENIE: I think last night’s vote might have been the most predictable vote yet. Alan, Colin and Scott have the majority at Saci, so I’m sure they kicked out one of the girls. It’s just a matter of time before we find out which one.

        Without Colin, Alan and Scott, the tribe was unusually quiet. Rupert and Marcellas spent their days as far away from camp as possible, Stephenie refused to listen to Sam because he was “unworthy”, and Clay found himself caught in the middle and having to make choices as far as who to talk to.

        CLAY: I am really at the center of this tribe. None of these people will talk to each other, so if there’s gonna be any strategizing done at all it has to come from me.

        Much like the Saci situation, Clay found himself in a majority alliance at Caipora – Stephenie bitched Sam around, but he was unquestionably loyal to her, and Clay’s personal friendship with Stephenie could easily guarantee that Rupert and Marcellas would be the next two to go, should Caipora lose.
        But Clay was having second thoughts – for one thing, Rupert kept bringing in fish despite Stephenie’s complaints that they were too small, and Marcellas was quite simply the master of berry stew. Without those two, Caipora might literally starve.

        CLAY: I’m hoping we win, but if it comes down to us having to vote I will really have to struggle with my morals to further myself in this game.

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DAY 13

IARA CAMP

        “Oh mah gawd, y’all,” said April, “Ah am so bored!”
        Last night had been the first night Iara had avoided Tribal Council in a long time, and by the looks of it that had been a good thing.

        APRIL: Before the tribes were split into three, we were gonna boot off Janelle and Kathy next anyway. So when they took those two bitches away, that only left our alliance in this tribe. If we had lost yesterday, we wouldn’t know who to vote off.

        Mornings at Iara were always the same – Mama Weaver cooked breakfast and thanked Jesus for their “wonderful meals,” April cleaned up, Omarosa sunbathed and refused to speak to anyone, Julie was practically nonexistent and Juanita slept in and flicked off anyone that tried to wake her.
        Today, it was a little different – These five women had comfortably settled themselves into their alliance, but now the prospects of all five making it to the merge were rather grim – they would have to win every single immunity challenge from now on.

        MAMA WEAVER: We are really in a tough situation, you know? I didn’t come all the way to Asia to lose on Survivor: Brazil. If Ted was here, I’m sure he’d help us win the next immunity challenges.

        TreeMail arrived later in the day.
        “Y’all, it’s a weird one!” said April.
        And she read the treemail to her tribemates:

        Hung up high in such a way
        Double Tribal, Double Trouble
        Win today and longer stay
        Lest somebody burst your bubble

        “What dat means?” said Juanita.
        “I believe,” said Julie, “That this…..is a Double Eviction Week.”
        “What dat means?” said Juanita, “What’s a viction?”
        Omarosa rolled her eyes.

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IMMUNITY CHALLENGE – HUNG UP (TIME GOES BY…. SO SLOW-LY)

        The three tribes made their way to challenge beach that morning expecting the unexpected.
Anne was standing on the beach, wearing her usual navy blue overcoat and looking stern as ever.
Iara came out first, looking as dysfunctional as ever and walking in a clump rather than in a line. Caipora followed in their routine hierarchical line, with Stephenie at the front and Clay suddenly promoted to second in line. Marcellas, as expected, was last.
        “Welcome,” said Anne, “to your next Immunity Challenge.”
        “Immunity?” said Mama Weaver, “We just had one yesterday!”
        “Saci, you may come out, now!”
        And out from the bushes came Scott, Alan, Kathy and Janelle.
        “Take a good look at Saci,” said Anne, “Colin was the latest person to be voted off.”
        “Oh my God!” said Stephenie.
        She was in a complete state of shock. So shocked, in fact, that her legs were now twitching uncontrollably. She kept looking from Scott to Alan, wondering which of the two had betrayed Colin and feeling helpless and alone – All of a sudden there was no Monarchy. Her alliance was dead.
        “Which one of you” she whimpered, “Was gay and retarded enough to vote Colin off?”
        Alan raised his hand. “Sorry, Steph.”
        “FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!” she shouted, “FUCK YOU IN THE EAR!”
        “Steph, calm down” said Clay.
        “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! THE ASSHOLE TURNED AND SAVED THOSE TWO USELESS PIECES OF CRAP!”
        “Excuse me,” said Marcellas, “But I don’t recall you ever being useful at all.”
        “Dang, dis be wack!” said Juanita.
        “Who made you Queen Bee?” said Marcellas, “I don’t think I got the memo!”
        “SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU QUEER FA—“
        “ENOUGH!” Anne shouted.

        Everyone went silent.

        “We will get through this challenge in a civil manner,” she said softly, “Or there will be…consequences. Do you understand me?”
        She was so stern that nobody dared speak.
        “Good, then,” she said, “Let us proceed.”
       
        And she pointed to three towers emerging from the water, each color coded for one of the tribes.
        “Today’s challenge is a special one,” said Anne, “In that there will only be one winner – only one tribe will be immune. The other two will each have to eliminate one player.”
        “Oh mah sweet Jeebus,” said Juanita.
        “Today’s challenge will be familiar to you,” said Anne, “Especially to Rupert – this was done on Survivor: Pearl Islands.”
        Rupert grinned slightly. He usually would’ve roared, but he truly wasn’t enjoying the game this time around.
        “Each tribe will select one member to be hung on a harness above the ocean water by a rope-and-pulley system,” said Anne, “The other three members will simply have to hold on to the rope to make sure their team member doesn’t touch the water. The last team with a dry member wins.”
        “I cain’t be me,” said Juanita, “Ah jest got mah weave did!”
        “Before we begin, however,” said Anne, “Caipora and Iara both have an extra member, so you must sit someone out.”
        Both decisions came quite easily – Mama Weaver sat out for Iara because she claimed the harness was a blasphemous Biblical allusion; Marcellas wasn’t allowed to compete because Stephenie said so, thus sitting out for Caipora.
        “Now,” Anne continued, “You must pick your lightest person to be harnessed.”
        Saci’s choice was unanimous – Kathy was the smallest and lightest of the four, so she was harnessed. Julie was the chosen one for Iara due to her exceptionally small frame. Clay rounded out the harnesses as the only male.
        “Grab onto your ropes,” said Anne, “Pull your people up. This challenge has begun. After one hour, one person from each team must drop out of the challenge.”
       
        It was dull work. All three teams had thought strategically and placed their heaviest contestant (Scott, Rupert and Omarosa, respectively) at the back end of the rope.
        For a while, nothing happened – the teams had a little laughing spat due to Julie’s harness, which vividly glorified her already glorious cameltoe, but besides that minor break in the air the challengers were silent.
        “It has now been fifteen minutes,” said Anne.
        “Mah hand hurt!” said Juanita.
        Iara was clearly struggling – Light as Julie was, April, Omarosa and Juanita did not exactly compose the world’s strongest group of women, and they were already showing signs of pain and fatigue.
        At Caipora, Rupert barely moved. Stephenie whimpered, cried and hung on. Sam had his hand on the rope but didn’t seem to be making much of an effort to hold on.
        Scott, it seemed, was the most determined to win. Aware of the fact that a Saci loss would most likely indicate his departure he fought hard to win and prevent that from happening. Alan and Janelle both looked strong and unbothered.
       
        Thirty-seven minutes into the challenge a bird flew by and pooped on Juanita’s head, which caused her to let go of her rope prematurely.
        “OH MAH GAAAAH!” she cried, “MAH WEAVE!!! MAH PURTIFUL WEAVE DAT MAH MAMA WEAVED FO’ ME!”
        “Oh mah gawsh, you selfish bitch,” said April
“Who gives a damn about your weave, sweetheart?” said Omarosa.
        “BITCH, WHATEVIA,” Juanita shouted, running her fingers through her hair in an attempt to remove the bird residue, “YOU WAS JUST AS P.O.’ED WHEN DAT PLASTER DROP DONE HIT YOU UPSIDE DA HEAD!”
        “Ahem,” Anne intervened, “Juanita, you are now out of this challenge. Please take a seat next to Mama Weaver.
        “Dat ain’t fair,” said Juanita in between pouts, “Crazy ho.”

        Suddenly, the weight of Julie became too much for just April and Omarosa to bear, and they began to struggle even more.
        “Oh mah gawsh,” said April, “Ah can’t do this, y’all!”
        Yet she held on – barely, but effectively.

        By the 40-minute mark, Omarosa and April had allowed the rope to slip through their fists so much that Julie was hanging a whole three feet below Clay and Kathy. Her feet were mere inches above the water.
        The challenge wasn’t easy on the harness people – the harnesses were uncomfortable burdens. Julie’s cameltoe was magnified to gigantic proportions, Clay complained his “package” was completely crumpled, and Kathy provided random bursts of info such as “freaking rash from hell” and “I’d rather wear a poison-ivy thong.”
        The sun was scalding hot – temperatures reached upward of 99 degrees – yet the tribes hung on.

        At the one hour mark, Anne chimed in.
        “You have been holding your people for one hour,” she said, “Caipora and Saci, each of you must now have one of your members let go of the rope. Iara, because Juanita disqualified herself, you two may remain.”
        Despite Stephenie’s whimpering cry for release, it was Sam who let go of the rope and took a seat on the bench, leaving Stephenie and Rupert to pull Clay up. At Saci, Janelle was the obvious choice to let go of the rope, so she did (reluctantly so) and took a seat with the others.
        “Bitch, don’t you sit next to me,” said Juanita, “Crack ho”
        “In one more hour,” said Anne, “Another person will be asked to let go.”

        1 hour. 30 minutes.
        April was about to die. Her shirt was soaking wet from sweat, and dehydration was beginning to set in.
        Omarosa tried her best – she was holding up remarkably well against powerhouses like Scott and Rupert, but no amount of willpower on her part could make up for the fact that she was going up against two 200+ pound beasts (with Scott nearing 300 pounds.)
        April let go of the rope at 1 hour and 34 minutes, leaving Omarosa alone against Stephenie, Alan, Scott and Rupert.
        “Iara, now down to one member,” said Anne.
        Due to the lead Caipora and Saci had on Iara, Stephenie let go of the rope 15 minutes before the two-hour mark, whimpering and crying as she took a seat next to Sam and Marcellas.
        With each minute that passed by, the harness people dropped more and more.
        “We have now reached the two hour mark,” said Anne, “Caipora and Iara both lost a member during the last hour, so the only person that needs to leave the challenge is a Saci member.
        A reluctant Alan, who up until then had shown no signs of fatigue except for a few shakes, let go of his team’s red rope and took a seat next to Janelle, who hugged him, said “ew, you’re sweaty” and wiped her hands on Marcellas’s shirt. Marcellas suddenly forgot his irritation with Stephenie and grinned broadly.

        This was now a 3-person battle between Rupert, Omarosa and Scott. Last one standing would win immunity for their tribe, while the other two tribes faced Tribal Council.

        The game had become almost boring for the people on the bench – Watching their tribemates suffer through excruciating pain wasn’t half as entertaining as they’d once found it to be. Tired and worn out, some contestants even fell asleep. Juanita was snoring particularly loudly into April’s ear.       
       
        At two hours and seventeen minutes Kathy startled everyone by shouting “OH MY GOD, I HAVE TO PEE!”
        She began wiggling in her harness, causing Scott to have to suddenly adjust his hands on the red Saci rope – As a result, Kathy (who had been the highest of the three harness people) descended about a foot, which placed her perilously close to Clay (Julie was inches away from disqualification, as her toes were barely above the water).
        “Dang it, yo,” said Scott, “Just pee yo pants, but stop wigglin’ so damn much!”
        “So sorry,” said Kathy.
        And she took the liberty to pee her pants.

        “Two and half hours,” said Anne in her stern British accent.
        “Come on, Omarosa!” shouted Mama Weaver, “Dear Jesus, please lift the pull of gravity from Julie just so Omarosa can win this for us. Please, Jesus, Amen!”
        Omarosa was struggling, and it showed – Her face was covered in thick sweat droplets, and Julie was so dangerously close to the water that holding the yellow rope in place wasn’t enough. Omarosa had to resort to pulling on the rope in order to reduce the slack that had been given throughout the course of the challenge.
        “I can’t….hold…..much longer….” Said Omarosa.
        “Let go! Let go! Let go!” said Kathy from her harness.
        “Hey!” said Mama Weaver, “Let’s be encouraging of each other, how about that?”
        “Fuck Jesus!” said Janelle.
        “Oh mah gawsh, how disrespectful,” said April, “You have no soul.”
        “Bitch, please, be original,” said Janelle, “That’s Ivette’s line.”
        “How DARE you talk about Ivette when she’s not here to defend herself?” said April.
        “I CAN’T HOLD ON ANYMORE, STOP ARGUING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!”
        “Somebody pour plaster on her head,” said Marcellas, “Before I go and do it myself.”
        “Marcellas, shut up,” said Omarosa, still struggling with the rope and only talking in between gasps for air, “You’ve just never….been exposed…..to a strong black person before….”
        “Bitch, I’m black,” said Marcellas.
        In what was more of a reflex than a conscious action, Marcellas grabbed a coconut husk off the ground and threw it at Omarosa. It hit her on the head.
       
        Omarosa’s eyes bulged out for a second. She felt her head, saw the husk on the ground, and looked at Marcellas. Her rage was too strong for words, but even though she wasn’t speaking it was obvious she had never been that mad in her entire life.
        “Oh dear,” said Mama Weaver, “Ooooh dear.”
        Omarosa began to shake uncontrollably, almost as if she were going into multiple convulsions.
        “Omarosa, oh mah gawsh,” said April, “Hold on, Omie, hold on!”
        She jumped up and knocked a sleeping Juanita off the bench.
        “I ain’t eat da cookie, Mama!” said Juanita, who had clearly just snapped abruptly out of a dream, “Oh….what be up?”
        “Omarosa, control yourself, we need to win!” said April.
        “Dear Lord, please calm Omarosa down, in the name of Jesus, Amen!” said Mama Weaver.
        Omarosa suddenly stopped shaking – she froze solid, hands on the rope, gripping at it with all her might – and a single tear fell from her left eye.
        Then she fainted.

        “Oh mah gawsh,” April yelled, “Some uh y’all, do som’in!”
        Julie had been dropped into the ocean water, and was now swimming to Omarosa’s aid and trying to pull off the yellow harness at the same time. April also ran to her side, and Mama Weaver got down on her knees and prayed. Juanita was frantic, running around mercilessly trying to find palm fronds with which to fan Omarosa.

        For a few long minutes the challenge came to a halt – Rupert and Scott hung onto their ropes, but everyone else – including Janelle, Stephenie, Sam, Marcellas and Alan – ran to Omarosa’s aid.
        After April poured some ocean water on her head, Omarosa woke up. She didn’t say a word to anyone, got up, grabbed her buff (which she had taken off to use for protection against rope burn), put in on, glared at Marcellas and walked back to camp.
        “Blimey,” said Anne, “Well, unfortunately for you, Iara, Omarosa was the weakest link, and you five will be visiting me tonight at Tribal Council where one of you will be voted out of Iara.”
        But none of them were listening – for the first time in the game, everyone cared enough about Omarosa to worry about her as she made her way alone toward the Iara campsite.

        “Caipora and Iara are still competing,” said Anne, “Whichever team is the last standing wins Immunity and a very special reward.”
        Upon hearing this, the bench Survivors sat back down and began watching the challenge once again.
        It was a pretty even battle – Scott and Rupert were roughly the same size, with Scott gaining on Rupert a bit in terms of girth. Rupert made up for it with strength, which seemed to be Rupert’s own advantage against Scott.

        It went on for two more hours. They both held their ropes until Kathy and Clay were severely dehydrated from hanging in the hot sun for over four hours.
        “Ad friends…won’t let you……down…..,” Clay sang softly, “like a…..bridge….over troubled….water…..water…..water…..please…..”
        “Four hours and fifteen minutes in,” Anne chimed in.
        “This is insane,” said Janelle.
        “Come on, FaFu, you can do it!” Alan shouted, encouraging Scott to continue on.
        “We’re gonna lose,” said Stephenie, loudly, “Rupert’s wimpy…he’s big but he’s wimpy…it’s over, we’re gonna lose.”
        “Stephenie, shut the fuck up,” said Marcellas.
        Stephenie rolled her eyes.
        Rupert had heard her.

        “Four hours and thirty minutes.”

        “Rupert, just give it up,” said Stephenie, “Seriously, we can just vote off Marcellas, let go of the rope.”
        “Rupert, please,” Marcellas pleaded, “Hang onto that rope, please!”
        “Marcellas, shut the fuck up,” said Stephenie, mocking Marcellas’s largely effeminate speech patterns, “Rupert, we won’t vote you off, it’ll be Marcellas, but let go of the freaking rope you oaf!”       
        “What dat means?” said Juanita.
        “Shh, don’t talk to them,” said Mama Weaver, “They’re the enemy.”
        “I…..I just……”
        Rupert was conflicted – He truly could not hold on any longer, but he knew Marcellas was probably toast. Letting go of the rope at this stage would be, in his mind, as bad as writing Marcellas’s name down at Tribal Council.
        “I’m sorry…..I……I can’t let go.”
        “OOOOH, DAT’S A MARIAH SONG!” Juanita said, jumping up, snapping her fingers and singing, “EVEN THO I TRY I CAIN’T LET GOOOOO!”
        “Juanita, sit down!”
        “RUPERT!!” yelled Stephenie, “Ugh, just let go!”
        “I…….”
        “LET GO!”
        “I……..I can’t…….”
        “RUPERT, PLEASE, STAY STRONG!”
        “I…..I……..”
        “HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST YOU BLUBBERING IDIOT, LET GO!”
        “I……..I…….”
        “RUPERT!”
        “I….can’t hold on any longer…..”
        Crying himself a river, Rupert let go of Caipora’s purple rope.
        “I’m sorry, Marcellas,” he said, looking down, putting on his buff and walking quietly toward the bench, “I really couldn’t stay there any longer.”
        Marcellas didn’t respond.

        Clay was now swimming toward the beach after being dropped by Rupert. Soaking wet, he removed his harness and patted Rupert on the back.

        “Scott,” said Anne, “Congratulations. Saci wins Immunity. You may let go, now”
        “Halleluja!” said Scott.
        “Oh, praise Jesus!” said Kathy.
        Mama Weaver glared.

        It took a second for everyone to get settled – Kathy got dropped, swam to shore (albeit with some difficulty) and shared a drink from Scott’s canteen. Then she hugged Janelle and Alan.
        “Saci, here you are,” said Anne, handing Saci the Immunity Idol, “You are immune from the vote tonight. However…”
        “Uh-oh,” said Kathy, “There’s a however.”
        “However,” Anne grumbled, clearly angry at the interruption, “You will still attend Tribal Council.”
        “What?” said Janelle.
        “WTF?” said Scott.
        “Don’t worry, you are not voting one of your own off the island,” Anne continued, “But as the winners of today’s challenge you get a special privilege. The four of you will sit in and observe the other tribes’ Tribal Councils, and will cast a very important vote.
        “Oh,” said Alan, relieved, “I thought it was something bad.”
        “You may all head back to camp,” said Anne, “I’ll see all of you tonight.”
       

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DAY 13

CAIPORA CAMP

        “Finally, we get to vote that waste of space off.”
        Stephenie could not be happier – As Caipora stood, Marcellas was in line to receive 3 votes and be voted out. She felt confident in Clay and Sam, both of whom had promised her again and again they would vote Marcellas off.

        CLAY: I told Stephenie I was not going to vote Rupert off because we truly do need him, but I promised her I was in line with voting off Marcellas, even though I truly, in my heart believe that Sam is a better option.

        Marcellas seemed to sense this, because he had now retired himself to the shelter and refused to come out. Not even Rupert, his only friend in the tribe, managed to make any progress with him.

        MARCELLAS: My game with Rupert is done. He let go of that rope and because of that, I am going home tonight way before my time. He claimed to be my friend, but if he was truly my friend, he would still be there hanging on.

        Rupert was an emotional mess – Marcellas had previously been the one person with whom he could still talk about non-game related subjects, but such was Marcellas’s rage that Rupert was now a loner.

        RUPERT: That was the hardest decision of my life. I tried to save Marcellas, but I just could not bring myself to stay up there any longer. Scott wasn’t moving at all, and I was in pain…I couldn’t do it.

        For the first time since the beginning of his Survivor journey Rupert did not attempt to fish. He wished he could save Marcellas, but Stephenie’s control over the tribe was such that the Monarchy – or the remnant of it – was impenetrable.

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DAY 13

IARA CAMP

        Immunity loss aside, Iara now hailed Omarosa as their God-given savior. Previously an outcast due largely to her own behavior, Omarosa had now emerged as the strongest member of Iara. Without Janelle to obfuscate her, the members of Iara suddenly began to take notice of her contributions.

        APRIL: Uhmarosa was really a trooper in that challenge today. Ah mean, she really was. She was being abused emotionally and physically by Marcellas and took it like a champ.

        Iara had suddenly gone from a bunch of bickering misfits to a very united, well-oiled Omarosa-worshipping machine. Julie, Juanita, Mama Weaver and April suddenly realized the advantages of keeping Omarosa in the game.
        So much, in fact, that they didn’t think at all about who they’d vote off that night because they’d focused so heavily on keeping Omarosa.

        LINDA WEAVER: I think this is the first time we’re going into Tribal Council without having any idea who we’re voting for. The five of us have grown really close, so it’ll be really weird to see who ends up leaving.

        “Y’all ready?” said April as the tribe gathered their torches.
        “Ah ain’t gon’ go,” said Juanita, “I ain’t wantin’”
        “Oh, pshaw,” said April.
        She pulled Juanita up by the ear, handed her her torch, and the five Iaras headed to Tribal Council.

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TRIBAL COUNCIL

        Saci arrived at Tribal Council first. Since they weren’t voting anyone off, the four didn’t bring their bags.
        Caipora was set to hold their Council first. Janelle, Kathy, Alan and Scott watched intently from the jury seats as the five purple-clad members of Caipora made their way, torches lit, onto the Tribal Council set.
        “Welcome,” said Anne, “To Tribal Council. As I gather, you haven’t been here since Day 3.”
        “That’s right,” said Clay, “We’ve been a strong little tribe throughout.”
        “Until that stupid switch,” Stephenie blurted.
        “Right, about that switch,” said Anne, “Stephenie, how did it affect your personal game?”
        “I hated it,” Stephenie whined, “Absolutely hated it. It was the most gayest thing ever. Pretty much, I had this awesome alliance that was gonna take me to the Final 5, but now because three of those five people got taken to another tribe I’m left with the bafoons.”
        “Excuse me,” said Marcellas, “I don’t appreciate you constantly putting me down like that.”
        “How dare you speak to Miss Stephenie when she has not addressed you,” said Sam, “That is so disrespectful.”
        “Are you listening to yourself, Samuel?” said Marcellas, clearly irritated, “Do you realize she doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you and is just using you for your vote so she can dump you later?”
        “I refuse to listen to this!” said Sam, covering his ears and chanting “La La La La” to himself in order to drown out Marcellas.
        “Marcellas, give it up,” said Stephenie, “You’re going home anyway, give it up.”
        “Did I hear that right?” said Anne, “From what I gather it’s pretty obvious that you all want Marcellas gone.”
        “Not all of us,” said Rupert.
        “Most of us, anyway,” said Stephenie, “Marcellas is gonna be voted off today. Clay, Sam and I are voting for him. That’s three. Three our of five is enough.”
        “Why exactly am I being voted out?” Marcellas shouted, “And why is it that you two are so blind and don’t see that this bitch is gonna make the Final 2 and win the game because you all were afraid of voting her out?”
        Clay said nothing. Sam began to talk but Stephenie stuffed his own buff in his mouth.
        “The point is, Marcellas,” said Stephenie, “This team sucks, and unfortunately you suck the most. Now, Anne, can we vote please?”
        “Why, yes,” said Anne, “Yes, I believe the time is just right. But first…”
        “BITCH, THAT’S MY LINE!!!!” yelled Julie Chen from outside of Tribal Council, where the Iara tribe was waiting to be allowed inside.
        “As I was saying,” continued a very irritated Anne, “The Saci tribe is here for a reason.”
        “Oh dear,” said Clay.
        “Tonight, Saci has the power to collectively award one member of Caipora immunity.”
        “Holy cow!” said Clay.
        “Ooh, fun!” said Janelle.
        “Saci,” said Anne, “You have five minutes to deliberate.”
        “Oh, there’ll be no need,” said Kathy.
        “Yeah,” said Alan, “We know who we want.”
        “All right, then,” said Anne, “Please make your decision now.”
        “MARCELLAS,” they all said in unison.

        For a split second Caipora was stunned. Then people’s individual reactions began to show: Marcellas’s eyes grew wide and shiny with tears. Rupert smiled his first true smile of the entire game. Sam didn’t seem to have a clue what was going on. Clay dramatically placed his left hand over his wide-agape mouth and looked at Stephenie, who seemed to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
        “FUCK YOU ALL!” she said to Saci, “FUCK YOU IN THE EAR, ALAN!”
        Alan, as instructed by Anne, remained silent.

        “Stephenie,” said Anne, “As much as we’d all love to hear your bickering, it IS time to vote, and you’re first.”

        A livid Stephenie made her way to the voting urn, wrote down Rupert’s name, said a feeble “Sorry” and walked back to her seat. She was so angry she didn’t notice Rupert whispering something into Clay’s ear.
        Both Marcellas and Rupert voted for Sam.
        Clay and Sam were the last to vote.

        “I shall now count the votes,” said Anne.
        She walked over to the voting confessional and grabbed the voting urn, which she brought back to her podium and opened.
        “First vote,” she said, “RUPERT.”
        “Surprise, surprise,” Rupert laughed.
        “Next vote,” Anne continued, “RUPERT. That’s 2 votes for Rupert.”
        “What the fuck are you all thinking?” said Marcellas.
        “Next vote…..SAM.”
        Sam smiled. Stephenie kept patting his back saying “It’s ok, Rupert’s going home.”
        “Fourth vote,” Anne read, “SAM. That’s two votes for Sam, two for Rupert. I shall now read the last vote.”
        She pulled the card out of the ballot and unfolded it.
        “The fifth person voted out of Survivor: Reality Stars is…”
        “Rupert,” said Stephenie.
        “No,” said Anne, “It’s Sam. Sam, please bring me your torch.”
        “WHAT?” Stephenie yelled, “Oh my God, Clay!”
        “I didn’t do anything!” said Clay.
        “You voted for Sam!” Stephenie shouted, “I saw Rupert whispering to you.”
        “Yeah, he was asking me for the words to Solitaire,” said Clay, “I voted for him just like you said.”
        “Miss Stephenie, it was me,” said Sam, “I voted for myself. You couldn’t get your wish of booting Marcellas so I sacrificed myself for your sake.”
        Stephenie was in shock. “Sam….why?”
        “I just wanted to make you happy,” he said. He bowed to her, then reached for his torch and handed it to Anne.
        “Sam,” she said, “The tribe has spoken.”

        And Sam left the game forever.

        “Well, this tribe is now evenly balanced as far as power goes,” Anne said, “Let’s see how you fare. Head back to your campsite.”

        And thus, half of them grinning and half of them stunned, Caipora left.

        ……………..

        “Iara, you may come in!”
        The minute Caipora stepped outside of Tribal Council Iara walked in. All five were wearing their yellow buffs as tube tops.
        When they were seated, Anne walked them through the routine Tribal Council Q and A.
        “Omarosa,” said Anne, “That was the first time in this game that I believe you’ve given your all in a challenge. Why was that?”
        “Well, Anne,” said Omarosa, tongue filled with venom, “I don’t think these girls have ever been in the presence of a strong Africa American woman, so I wanted to show them how strong we are.”
        “She be right,” said Juanita, “We be STROWNG!”
        “You know, Anne, we were all very proud of Omarosa,” said Mama Weaver, “I think today we all realized she’s a valuable member of this tribe.”
        “Oh mah gawsh, ah know,” said April, “Ah think we all saw a side of Uhmarosa today that we’d never seen before.”
        “Well, then,” said Anne, “It seems to be that Omarosa can sit tight because she is going nowhere tonight.”
        “Abso-friggin-lutely,” said April.
        “You bet,” said Mama Weaver.
        “How will Omarosa’s safety affect the tribe?” said Julie Chen.
        “So, who WILL you vote for tonight? Who deserves to leave?”
        “Ain’t nobody deserve it,” said Juanita, “But we gots ta vote, so we’s gon’ vote!”
        “Ah think we’re all just gon’ vote our hearts today.”
        “Well, before you do so,” said Anne, “Saci is here to award Immunity to one of you. Saci, you have five minutes to deliberate.”
        The four Sacis – including Scott, who had become much more amiable after the Immunity Challenge – whispered to each other for a few moments, then nodded and looked at Anne.
        “We’re gonna give immunity to Omarosa tonight, Anne,” said Alan.
        “Very well, then,” said Anne, “It is time to vote. Omarosa, you are first.”

        For the first time in the game, none of the people voting had discussed their vote with anyone else. Each of the five women made her way to the voting confessional, cast her vote, and returned to her seat.

        Omarosa’s vote was for Julie. “Sorry, but you have been evicted from Iara. You are by far the weakest.”
        April voted for Mama Weaver. “Ah mean, ah’m religious too, but you’re just obsessed. Gawd. Oops, excuse me, Lawd.”
        Mama Weaver, in turn, cast her vote for Juanita. “It seems that half the time you don’t wanna be here, and there are some of us that do. My Ted didn’t get cast in this so you could come here and complain? I don’t think so.”
        Julie voted for April and didn’t say anything in her voting confessional.

        Juanita was the last to cast her vote. She wrote the name down, showed it to the camera, and said simply: “I did eeny-meeny-miny-mo!”
        Then she returned to her seat.

        Anne then proceeded to retrieve the voting urn which contained the votes.
        “Once the votes are read the decision is final, and you may not throw a temper tantrum. I shall now read the votes.”
        She opened the urn.
        “First vote…….APRIL.”
        “Oh mah gawsh, mah first vote!”
        “Second vote…JULIE.”
        “Thank you, Anne. Please send the next vote to the Diary Room.”
        “Um….right,” said Anne, “Third vote……MAMA WEAVER.”
        “Dear Jesus, we pray, please let my name not come up again.”
        “Fourth vote,” said Anne, “JUANITA”
        “AH WANNA WIN A MILLAIN BUCKS FO’ DA CHILL’RUN!”
        “Oh mah gawsh, we’re gonna have a five-way tie!” said April.
        “Dat ain’t mafmatically possible,” said Juanita, “Cus ‘Rosa gots da immunity.”
        “Final vote,”said Anne.
        “Oh my,” said Mama Weaver, “It could be any of us.”
        “Ah’m gonna pee mah pants,” said April.

        All five were holding hands, heads together, staring at Anne as she unfolded the last card.

        “The sixth person voted out of Survivor: Reality Stars is…..”

        You could hear a pin drop.

        “………JULIE. Julie, please bring me your torch.”

        “Oh mah gawd, thank goodness,” said April.
        “Thank you Jesus!” said Mama Weaver.
        “Sorry, Julie,” said Juanita, “I done it by luck!”
        “Bye Julie,” said Omarosa.

        Julie grabbed her torch and made her way torward Anne.
        “The tribe had spoken,” Anne said, “It’s time for you to leave.”
        “Geez,” said Janelle, “How unceremonious.”
        “Janelle,” said April, “Stop addressing issues that don’t concern you.”
        “Ahem,” said Anne, “All of you may now return to your campsites. Tomorrow, the game continues.”
        “Well, dat was pointless,” said Juanita, “She ain’t even sad she be voted off.”
        “I don’t think she’s programmed to feel emotion,” said Mama Weaver.
        “Y’all, I’m just glad it wasn’t Omarosa,” said April.

        Omarosa grinned and winked at the camera.

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VOTING HISTORY

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NEXT TIME, ON SURVIVOR: REALITY STARS:

- A sudden power struggle at Caipora leaves the tribe divided and weak, causing Stephenie to make a drastic decision that could change the entire game.
- A player once viewed as weak becomes the unlikely hero at the Reward Challenge.
- When Anne injures herself, the host of the game changes yet again.

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Thank you all SO MUCH for reading! I really appreciate all the support.

A couple of questions:

1. Who will go next?
2. Who is your favorite?
3. Who will be the sole Survivor?
4. Please leave any comments, good or bad, about this episode so I can improve the others.

It's time again for....

SURVIVORONLINE2005's COMMENTARY AND PREDICTIONS!

ALOT to talk about again, first lets see... Clay/Marcellas/Rupert=alliance...does anyone else see this? There is no way he (Clay) is staying with Steph, not happening. I am predicting a 12 person merge, seems like the right time...but thats just me. If so..April,Mama weaver, and Juantia are around Omarosa's finger, because of the challenge (Which was hilarous by the way, we had some good lines today!) and she wants out Marcellas, so I could see her and Steph teaming up with Alan,Rupert,Janie teaming up, making either Steph or Marcellas up for the boot
REWARD:N/A
Immunity:??!?!??! Janelle?!?!??!
Boot:Marcellas