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Here's the erntire chapter, in case you're too lazy to open a pdf format, or in case I'm too desperate for you to read it.

Chapter Five - "Close-up"

Days 13-15

Early morning of day thirteen. I open my eyes and see the roof of the tent above me. I wonder where I am. And then I remember. I cannot help it - the edges of my mouth unwillingly stretch into a smile.

It has been the same every single morning for the past twelve days. It is still too good to be true. I am sleeping, and then I am waking up, but it still feels like a dream to me. It is all dreamlike. That is because I am used to the sounds of honking cars and shouting people buzzing in my ear when I wake up, not the sounds of humming birds and swaying leaves. I am used to getting paid for filming weddings and Bar-Mitzvahs, not for filming the most awesome show in the history and future of television.

I am sitting on my bunk-bed, looking around at the rest of the crew, all still asleep. The night-shift people need to be replaced in a short while, and we will never make it in time, and that will mean angry and sleepy night-shift people. But I do not feel too bad about that - last night, Julio, a night-shift cameraman, was supposed to come and replace me at eight pm. He came at nine thirty.

To tell the truth, I am glad they came late. It gave me the chance to be present at Dreamz's rant, which was priceless. I wonder if it got him booted, or if Cirie was still the one that went home, as planned.

"Wake up!" I say to Russ, who is sleeping on the bed next to me, and who is also a cameraman. "The sun is almost up!"

"Shut it Donald, you fuck", he says to me with his head deep inside his pillow, but he does not really mean it. He only swears like this because he is from Australia.

Russ's job is to film the challenges. Today's challenge takes place at a beach close by. The challenge only starts in the afternoon, but they need to film the Dream-Teamers practicing it first, and that is why Russ needs to get up so early.

Russ's other job is to film the contestants' final words. He says he loves to do it because he likes to "see their asses gone for good", as he words it.

I do not have a specialty, like Russ does. I film everything - from camp-life, to challenges, to tribal council. That is because I am new here, and they want to test my abilities, to find what my strongest area is. After thirteen days, they are still not sure what it is.

Shirley, the producer that usually accompanies me - or the producer I am usually accompanying, I have not quite figured that out yet - comes into the tent, already fully dressed and covered in make-up. Why make-up on an island in the middle of the sea? Beats me.

"Donald", she says, "still aren't ready? Hurry up, you ass-hole, we need to be there in five minutes, and we need to grab something to eat first. Boom's already up."

She storms out of the tent, leaving me to dress up as quickly as I can. She also swears a lot, but she is not from Australia, so I am not sure what her excuse is.

"Coming, Russ?" I ask as I am about to leave the tent. His head is still buried inside the pillow.

"Fuck it, they can wait", he says and motions me with his hand to leave him alone. I do not think that he is aware of the fact that he possesses the best job in the world.

Shirley walks at a quick pace towards the contestants' camp and I am right behind her, holding a sandwich in my hand and trying to devour it as fast as I can.

Behind me is Boom. This is not his real name, but everybody calls him that, partly because nobody remembers what his real name is. He is the one holding the "boom" microphone over the contestants' heads, and that is why he is nicknamed Boom. It is not the most original nickname, but it suits him. He does not speak a lot, or at all.

Shirley insists on wearing those high heels, and I feel like she is going to topple over at any given minute, but amazingly enough, she just keeps going and going. When I am older, I want to be just like Shirley. I do not mean the high heels part - I mean the determination she has got. She always gets what she wants, because she does not let anything stand in her way. That is why I am always walking behind her.

"Listen up, twit", she says in a business-like tone, "we've been over this like a thousand times. You don't interrupt my interviews, no matter how tempting that is for you. If you have something to say, keep it to yourself. If you find it difficult to keep it to yourself, try harder. I've had enough of your 'inputs', it's not part of your job and it never will be. Your job is to film them, and that's it. Got it?"

"Yeah, sure", I say, and she keeps on walking towards the camp. From afar, we see Julio, the cameraman I am supposed to replace, taking a nap under a tree, with the camera lying at his side. Shirley is furious.

"That little punk!" she screams, and he has no choice but to wake up.

"What?" he asks just as heatedly when he realizes where he is. "I was just resting some until you are arriving! It took you long time, why always so late?"

"Don't even start with me, you worthless brat", she says, taking the camera from the ground and giving it to me, while Julio runs away from her, mumbling, "crazy woman, so insane", under his breath.

"Start rolling, we have to catch up", she says, and I turn the camera on, pointing it at the survivors' camp, which is close by. We notice that Terry and Cindy are going for a trip in the jungle, and so Shirley signals me to follow them. I do as she says, just because it is safest to do what Shirley says.

"You are eight people", Terry says to Cindy. At first, I think he is wrong - Cindy is only one person. And then I listen to the rest of his sentence. "Eight people, Cindy. That's a lot of people to have in one alliance. What guarantee do you have that your place in this alliance is a good one? Why won't you take the opportunity to dwindle down the numbers while you still can? I'm not asking you to completely jump ship - just vote with us this one time, take out someone you don't want here - what have you got to lose?"

It looks like Cindy really considers Terry's plea. I hope she does not buy it. I really like Cindy, as she is smart and tough. But she is not my favorite out here.

"Let's see", she says at last. "What have I got to lose. My place in the game? My allies? My word? But other than that, you're absolutely right." It is obvious Cindy does not like Terry. I do not either. He is not even close to being my favorite out here.

"O.K.", Terry quickly changes his approach, "so voting one of your own is out of the question. I get that. But even if you want to target one of us, you're choosing the wrong guy. I know that Cirie was your initial target and I know that, once you had discovered she had immunity, you were the one who voted for me." What is he talking about? I ask myself. Cirie did not have immunity. Terry did.

Cindy looks shocked. "How do you know that?" she asks.

"It doesn't matter", Terry responds, "the point is, Rafe and Ami should be on your radar, not Cirie and I. They are the ones with a tight alliance going on. You should be focused on separating those two."

"Thanks for the advice", Cindy says kindly, although it could not be more obvious that she does not buy a word that comes out of Terry's mouth. I don't either. I have seen Cirie and Terry form their final-two alliance with my own eyes. I even have it on film.

Terry and Cindy continue to walk for a bit without talking. Just as it gets boring, Shirley comes to me out of nowhere and pulls me aside.

"Come with me, quick", she says, "I need you for an interview."

I come with Shirley. I am used to her coming and going all the time - I am only one of the cameramen she is in charge of. She takes me towards the beach, where Yau-Man stands knee-high in the ocean, cleaning the cooking pot with sand and water.

"Yau-Man", says Shirley with surprising kindness in her voice, "Are you too busy or could we have a word?"

"It would be my pleasure", says Yau-Man with enthusiasm, and I am filled with admiration towards him. He is always so upbeat and nice. He is by far the nicest All-Star. But he is not my favorite out here.

"Now that you have finished building your shelter", Shirley asks him without pause, "do you feel like there's something missing for the twelve of you, or do you have it all?"

"I feel like, even though we have a shelter", Yau-Man says in his fragmented way, aware of the fact that people watching this at home in a couple of months will only see the answers from this interview and not the questions themselves, "we still lack the most important thing, which is food. I try to provide my tribe with the most nutritious leaves and roots available, but of course, that's not quite enough to sustain twelve adults."

"And what would be enough to sustain twelve adults?" Shirley asks. I keep myself from snorting. I could have done a much better job at interviewing Yau-Man.

"Fish", Yau-Man says immediately. "We see them in the water all the time, but without fishing equipment, there's nothing we can do, they are too fast for us. And of course, there are a lot of fruits and mushrooms on this island that can feed us very well, but I can't be positive which ones are poisonous and which ones aren't, so I don't bring them to my tribe, it is too big a risk. When I learned that we are to come to the Galapagos Islands, I immediately bought a nature guide exactly for this kind of stuff, and I even wrote it down as my luxury item, but of course, the luxury-items phase is long gone, and I hardly remember everything the guide says by heart."

"That's too bad", Shirley says in a tone that suggests it is not bad at all. "Now let's talk about the relationships you have built in this game. Who would you say is the closest person to you right now?"

"This is an easy question", says Yau-Man delightedly. "Eliza is the closest person to me here, and she is a remarkable young lady." I agree. I really like Eliza as well. She is so enthusiastic and anxious about stuff - she reminds me of myself. But she is not my favorite out here. "We have had a tight alliance from day one", Yau-Man continues. "At first, an alliance with her made sense to me, because I thought I could beat her in a final-two scenario, and because I was sure she wasn't going to betray me -"

"Why were you so sure?" Shirley asks, and now I actually snort. Is the answer to this question not obvious?

"Because she was a huge fan of me", Yau-Man says, and he doesn't sound arrogant when he says it; he sounds genuine. "She seemed like she would never betray her hero. But things have changed since then."

"Changed how?" Shirley asks. I lean closer behind the camera.

"We are not superstar and groupie anymore, Eliza and I. We're equals. Now she knows that I listen fully to what she has to say. She wanted to switch alliances not long ago, and I accepted, even though it didn't benefit my game at all."

"So why did you do it?" asks Shirley, almost in disgust. It is obvious to me that a person like Shirley would have never done something like that.

"Because it benefited her" Yau-Man explains. "And if I'm in an alliance with Eliza until the bitter end, that means her game is as important as mine, and even more so. We are in it for each other."

"But that's stupid", Shirley says without thinking, and it seems like she immediately regrets saying that. "I mean… is it the smart thing to do, to sacrifice parts of your game for another person, when it's supposed to be an individual game?"

"It's probably not the smart thing to do," says Yau-Man, and he is completely serious right now, "but I believe it is the right thing to do."

Shirley does not seem convinced. "So who are some of the other people you're close to?"

Yau-Man thinks for a bit. He is the thinking type. "I really enjoy Cindy's company. She holds a lot of knowledge about the wildlife and our surroundings. She is very sharp. Julie is someone I've talked business with many times. She gets this game, and if Eliza and I wanted to move ahead in the future, Julie would be a good person to talk to.

Ian is a good natured kid. He means well, and it shows. Having him around is having a trustworthy person around - which would be quite better than to have deals with sneaky people like, for example, Jonathan."

My camera still points to Yau-Man, but my mind is somewhere else altogether. Yau-Man, Eliza, Cindy, Julie, Ian. Those are five out of the eight people in the ruling alliance. There is a pretty good chance Yau-Man had just named the final five.

We leave Yau-Man alone. Then, Shirley leaves me alone. "I have some business to take care of", she says and disappears, leaving me on the beach. I spot some people lying in the shelter and I walk towards them. They are laughing. The laughter is contagious.

"My fridge on a Thursday night", Cirie says, and everyone bursts with laughter. I do not get it.

"The Holocaust", Jonathan says, and the laughing keeps on coming. I still do not get it. The Holocaust is not a laughing matter.

"Eliza, come here!" Ian screams when he sees Eliza from afar, "come play with us - the goal is to come up with places with more food available than on this island."

"Like Nicole Ritchie's stomach?" Eliza suggests, and they all laugh, and I finally get it. They are laughing because they have not had a decent meal for a very long time. This is their way to relieve stress.

"An African village", Katie says. "After a plague", she adds. "And drought."

"I've got one", Courtney says, and everyone turns to look at her. "Egypt, in Joseph's dream."

I smile, but apparently I am the only one. The silence is ear-splitting. Jonathan breaks it.

"Very spot-on, Courtney", he says. "I'm sure everybody here is beating themselves over not thinking of that one."

"Hmmm…" Ami evidently tries to change the subject, after taking one glance at Courtney's expression. "So when are they gonna supply us with some food?"

It works - the subject quickly changes into more serious realms, but I notice that while nobody is looking, Katie, for some reason, stands up and starts walking away, gently motioning with her head for Jonathan to follow her. Jonathan takes his time - after a minute or so, without drawing attention to himself, he stands up as well and heads in Katie's direction. I find it peculiar and decide to follow her myself.

I catch up with both of them in the ocean. They are an unlikely pair - I have never even seen them speaking to one another before. I get closer, wetting my shoes and my pants. They both look at me suspiciously, but then continue their talk, probably deciding I should be considered a non-entity.

"You're giving it way too much thought", Jonathan says, and I am intrigued.

"No", Katie says heatedly. "It's you who's giving it way too little thought! She is essential to our plan; she is the key to our plan! You can't go around treating her like that."

"It's not like I'm the only one", Jonathan says. "Courtney is a joke around camp, and everyone's treating her as such - it would seem suspicious if I didn't."

"But we need her", Katie tries a patient approach. "You need her. She's your… thing, just like Ian's mine. Both of us need a thing, a person who would be close to us - so that no one suspects we're working together. And Courtney is yours - Courtney is your thing. It's perfect. Don't ruin it all 'cause you want to crack jokes at her expanse."

Jonathan seems like he is about to respond, but then he closes his mouth, a pondering look on his face.

"I'm sorry", he says, "of course you're right. Of course we have to be careful when it comes to the people we need on our side."

"Speaking of", Katie says, "Yau-Man is another person we need to get close to."

"Yes, of course", Jonathan says in an exaggerated tone. "Yau-Man is the perfect goat. We can take him to the final three, and then whoever wins immunity takes Yau-Man to the final two and has this thing in the bag."

"Or", Katie points out, "he is the first out at the final eight. And he knows it, and he's going to do something about it. Unless we give him a false sense of security." I listen to Katie's suggestion and to me it sounds much more plausible than Jonathan's.

Jonathan seems to agree. "But how do we do it? What kind of bargain can we offer him?"

Katie begins to answer with "I've got an idea-", but is interrupted by a shout coming from the shore.

It is Ian, calling enthusiastically: "Yo, Katie, Jonathan! Tree-mail!"

The two of them look at each other, and immediately head back to shore. I am not really good at guessing people's true motives and trains of thought, but I'm pretty sure that at the moment, they both hope beyond hope that Ian does not suspect them of anything.

When us four get there, everybody else is already seated around Rafe, who is holding an old-looking book and is reading out of an even older-looking parchment:

"You've dreamt of the smell, of the taste, of the touch,

It's all you've been craving - don't crave it too much.

Choose one of these items, but please, choose it well -

Your dream can turn into a nightmare from hell."

"Food," Terry says unnecessarily.

Everybody is excited. I am also excited, even though I ate a big sandwich not long ago. But it is like I can feel the taste of their favorite foods through their mouths as they flip through a huge book containing pictures of different delicacies.

"French fries?" Rafe asks when they reach a certain page.

"Yes", Cirie answers, "let's do choose potatoes when potatoes are all we've been eatin' since forever." I am startled. I did not know French fries are made out of potatoes.

"Ice cream!" Cindy screams as they flip the page. "Buck loads of ice cream! With coffee as one of the flavors! We gotta consider this, guys."

"But don't we want to choose something nutritious?" Rafe points out, and as he is the one holding the book, the page is turned once again.

"This looks kinda nutritious", Eliza points out as I zoom in on the page featuring a picture of a salad ball. Nobody responds as they proceed to look at the next option.

"This is it."

The page has a picture of a slice of pizza, the best looking slice of pizza I have ever seen. And I have seen some good looking slices of pizza over the years.

"This is definitely it", announces Ian, and no one has any objections. "It's got it all."

"Yes", Julie agrees. "It has bread. It has cheese. It has vegetables."

"It has it all", Katie says, looking directly at my camera. "That is why I always choose survivor pizza. Survivor Pizza, the best thing to eat after a twelve-day fast."

"So it's done?" Julie asks everybody else. "Pizza it is?"

"Pizza it is", says Ami, and everybody else makes noises of agreement and nods their heads. Pizza it is.

In all the excitement, I catch one exchange between two castaways, an exchange which goes unnoticed by everybody else sitting there - it is Cindy who whispers in Eliza's ear, very quietly but apparently not quietly enough: "I have an offer to make you." Eliza turns to look at her anxiously, and so she adds: "Later."

"Honestly, do I need to pour a bucket of water on your stupid head to wake you up? 'Cause if not, I probably will anyway…"

The first thing I see when opening my eyes is Shirley's nostrils staring at me from above. Something tells me this is not going to be the best day ever.

Russ wakes up as well from the noise made by Shirley; he looks at the cause of the disturbance, murmurs: "someone should really lock up this beast of a woman somewhere that's far away", and goes back to sleep. Sadly, I do not have the privilege of doing the same.

I get up from bed and dress. Shirley is already dressed, and wearing make-up, and high-heels. Her heels are higher than yesterday's heels, if that is even possible.

I am suddenly hungry, as hungry as I ever remember being. And that is why, on the way to the contestant's camp, I grab not one, but two sandwiches, each containing bacon and eggs. I just have to make sure I finish them before we get there - but that is a challenge I believe I can manage.

As expected, Julio is taking a nap under the same tree as the one from yesterday. I do not think he gets the night-shift concept.

After an exchange of dirty words between him and Shirley - I believe that by now I have heard every swear-word imaginable - the camera is once again in my hands, where it should be. I change the battery, as Julio left her on all night, and we are good to go.

Everyone is seating around the fire when we get to the camp. At first I do not understand what it is that they are cooking - they usually eat their potatoes on the day they attend tribal council - but than I remember Yau-Man's luxury item. The nature guide is indeed open, lying on Eliza's lap. I take a peak at the cooking pot and am surprised to discover all kinds of smelly (not the bad kind of smelly) and nutritious-looking roots and mushrooms swimming in the boiling water. It sounds like the rest of the tribe is pleasantly surprised as well.

"Some of these things I've never even heard about!" Rafe says, looking at the book over Eliza's shoulder. "And it's my job to know about these things!"

"That is not something to be ashamed of", Yau-Man says, stirring the pot with a dirty-looking stick. "Galapagos is a very unique area in that respect. It has plants and animals that you cannot find anywhere else in the world. That is why I bought this guide in the first place."

"And it's a good thing you did", Ian says, massaging his stomach. "As much as I enjoy leaving on two potatoes a week, it's nice to know that it's no longer the only option on the menu."

"Well' don't worry", Yau-Man says with a huge smile, "As long as I'm here, so is the book, and as long as the book is here, so is the food."

A few giggle, but those that do not, namely Julie and Cindy, are looking at Yau-Man with concern.

Yau-Man is one smart guy.

The morning passes by. Today's tribal task is to make the shelter floor a little more comfortable, and to have enough material that can be used as semi-blankets. Terry is in the jungle, cutting away broad leaves and soft bushes that would serve as some sort of mattress, and a few others, Ian and Courtney among them, are going back and forth, bringing the product to the shelter. I am startled to see that Katie is one of those people - in my mind, she is not really the working type. But I guess people can surprise you.

Eliza is also one of those people, but I follow her to the woods, and when she halts in the middle of the way, waiting for an unknown something or someone, I start to suspect that a comfortable shelter is not exactly what she has in mind.

"Courtney!" se whispers as she sees Courtney coming out of the shadows, "come here a second!" Courtney does as she is told.

"Have you seen Katie and Ian?" Eliza asks.

"Yeah", Courtney says, looking suspiciously at Eliza. "Yeah, they were behind me, they're on their way…"

"Good", Eliza says, looking at the spot where Courtney had just appeared. "That's good."

Courtney looks at Eliza as though she has gone insane - she probably has - and after a few long seconds, Katie and Ian become invisible, looking at each-other and laughing hysterically.

"So I tell him", Ian says, "I say: 'that's not his tail you've got there', and the man just starts running -"

Ian stops at the sight of Eliza and Courtney standing there, staring at them.

"Can we… help you?" he asks, obviously at loss for words.

"I don't mean to interrupt," Eliza says softly, "finish your story, go on."

"Nah", Ian says, dropping the bundle of plants he has been holding. "This one doesn't really have a punch-line. What is it?"

"Well, alright", Eliza says, and takes a deep breath. "I wanna talk to you guys about maybe forming an alliance that might carry us all the way to the end-game."

Ian raises an eyebrow. "Isn't it too early to think about the end-game?"

"It's always too early until it's too late", Eliza says, smiling to herself. "I'm thinking us four, plus Yau-Man, would make a strong sub-alliance of five. Five is all we need once we're eight, and the day when we're eight isn't too far-off."

Nobody says anything. I think that it is because nobody knows whether it is their turn to speak or not.

"Well?" Eliza says finally, irritated by the silence. "Are you in?"

"Why Yau-Man?" asks Katie bluntly.

"I'm sorry?"

"Why include Yau-Man? I mean, he's one of the biggest threats still left, why include him in the five? Why not someone much more disposable, like, say, Jonathan?"

Ian takes a quick look at Katie, but then turns back to look at Eliza.

"But we all know Yau-Man is a threat", says Eliza, somewhat nervously, "us four can easily take him out at the final five. When we think about it, what are our alternatives, really? Jonathan we can't trust, that's an obvious one; and Julie and Cindy are inseparable, they're a dangerous combination when together, and one of those two won't agree to play without the other. At least with Yau-Man, there aren't any sub-sub-alliances - everyone's standing on even grounds."

When nobody speaks yet again, Eliza adds: "Besides, Yau-Man now has this guide book thingy. We need that right now. We need his knowledge if we want to eat properly. It's an individual game, and the challenges are individual - they aren't going to give us any tribal prizes. And that means DYING OF HUNGER, unless Yau-Man is around. That's the sad truth."

For me it is clear that Eliza had gone over every detail of this plea with Yau-Man. But I am not sure that it is clear to the three of them.

"I'm in", Courtney says.

Katie looks at Courtney for a long while, her expression unreadable, and then: "I'm in."

It is now Ian's turn to look at Katie for a long while, before blaring out a third "I'm in."

My guess is that Ian's and Katie's 'I'm in's are the 'I'm in's of people who know that no matter what, you don't say 'I'm out' on an offer unless you already have a better deal settled. Courtney's 'I'm in', however, is different. It is the 'I'm in' of someone who is just excited to be offered a deal, any sort of deal.

"Great!" Eliza cannot hold her enthusiasm inside, and does not really try to.

"It's settled then. I'll fill Yau-Man in, and update you soon. Oh, and one more thing -" she says as the other three are starting to make their way back, "Julie and Cindy had this idea, where it's the five girls in the final five. I think it's best to play along, just so that they wouldn't be looking for… other options. I'll tell them I'm with them the moment I see them. Katie, Courtney, once they come to you with the offer, I think you should say yes, act as if you're totally into it. It's the safest way to insure we're in control of this game. Right, off we go."

Just as they all take off, Shirley reveals herself, coming from behind a bushy area. "Where have you been?" she asks as though I have done something wrong. "I have been looking all over for you! Well, I looked at the camp and then I came here and found you, but you shouldn't disappear just like that, you have to let me know where you are at all times!"

"You weren't anywhere to -"

"Let's do move on. Now, it's almost time for the challenge, and they haven't take their tree-mail yet. We need to… hmmm… guide them in the right direction. Come with me."

I come with her. We're nearing camp when I hear two low voices coming from the woods. I stop in my tracks. Before Shirley says anything, I put a finger over my mouth, signaling her to be quiet. This seems to piss her off even more, but when she, too, hears the voices, she plays along, and we both head off, as quietly as we can, in the direction of the noise.

It is Rafe and Jonathan.

"It is settled, then" Jonathan says with his hand firmly on Rafe's shoulder. "Cirie is going tomorrow, and then Terry. Don't sweat over it."

"And then what?" Rafe asks with an inquiring look. Shirley and I get closer.

"You don't have to worry about later", Jonathan calms him down. "I'm on it. Remember, you've got my word, you'd be surprised how -" but at that moment Jonathan notices us, and Rafe looks at Jonathan and then notices us as well, and at that moment, the conversation is over. Remembering yesterday's interview with Ian and the leading questions Shirley had asked him, I do not blame them.

In silence, they start making their way in the direction Courtney, Ian and Katie hade come from earlier, and we follow. I no time, they reach Terry, who is chopping branches left and right. It is scary, really.

"What have you got for us, Terry, my man?" Jonathan asks, looking around.

"Actually…"

The three of them turn to find out that it is Shirley who addresses them, with her kind voice - which is kind of fake.

"I'm sorry to interrupt", she says, "but I need you guys to go and check for tree-mail. There might be something waiting for you there."

That's a pretty blunt hint, at least in my opinion.

"Alrighty then", says Jonathan. Why don't you two go, while I take the machete and some of your… work's worth back to camp with me."

"Sure, why not", but then he realizes who is standing right beside him. They share an awkward moment, and we share it with them. Jonathan takes the machete and a few branches and disappears into the wild, leaving Terry and Rafe with no choice but to head off to get tree-mail together.

"Shall we?" says Rafe, trying, not too successfully, to sound casual.

"We sure… shall", Terry says lamely, and they both start making their way to the hill in the middle f the island.

A few times, one of them looks at the other, opening his mouth to say something, but each time nothing comes out.

Finally, Terry takes the initiative - and maybe it would have been better if he had not.

"So… you are a gay person, Rafe."

"Yeah", Rafe says, smiling in disbelief. "Yeah, I believe I am."

"And that's fine by me."

"Thank you", Rafe says, amused. I am not sure Terry notices the amusement in his voice, though.

"I personally know a gay person myself, you know", Terry says, obviously trying to impress Rafe.

"Really?" Rafe plays along. "What a coincidence."

"He's my cousin's son. We'll I don't really Know him, per se. I just heard about him, my cousin doesn't bring him with her usually when she comes to visit, but from what I've heard he's Ok, he's not that sexually perverted like one might think."

Rafe looks good-natured about this whole situation. "One might think so, yes", he says.

"So anyway, my point is", Terry says, and I am surprised to hear he has a point, "you don't have to feel uncomfortable around me, 'cause I'm totally fine with you lot - you can tell that to Ami as well…"

"I will", Rafe says. "I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear it."

"Good", Terry sounds satisfied, "'cause us four in the minority - if we don't start working together, we'll ruin the tiny chances we still got of making it further. We need each-other."

"Total agreeance", Rafe says, now without smiling, and I remember his talk with Jonathan and understand that Rafe really does agree with Terry, only on a different level.

They reach the top of the hill. Under the tortoise's armor lies nothing but a small piece of parchment. I already know what the challenge is, but I am still curious to find out how the clue is worded. Luckily, I have Shirley for these kinds of things.

"Would you be kind enough to read it out-loud?" she asks Rafe softly.

"Sure", Rafe says, and reads out-loud:

"Majority rules, that's the rules of this game,

In order to win you must name the right name.

Unique group of people, each one of a kind,

Let's find out which one has a mind-reading mind."

"Come on", says Terry, and I suspect he believes he had just made a new best friend, "let's go back and tell the others."

They go back, and they tell the others.

"'Mind-reading mind'…" Cindy wonders out-loud. "So we'll have to guess what others are thinking…"

"What the majority's thinking", Cirie corrects her. "'Majority rules', that means we'll have to be right on what the majority thinks, in order to advance."

"So it's the coconut-chopping challenge" concludes Eliza.

"But…" wonders Ian, "doesn't that means we'll have to fill out questionnaires? Rafe, are you sure there wasn't anything else in the tree-mail?"

"I'm positive", Rafe says, looking unsure, but my attention quickly shifts to Courtney, who is clearly very uncomfortable by the situation. So uncomfortable, in fact, that when the subject of conversation does not change, she actually stands up and walks away. Some notice this, but nobody does a thing, no-one goes to check what is wrong. No-one, except for Ami.

I do not need Shirley's over-the-top hand gestures to know that I have to follow Ami. She finds Courtney in the shelter, alone, looking into the distance. Ami sighs, and then sits beside her, putting her hand on Courtney's shoulder, very unlike Jonathan's hand on Rafe's Shoulder about an hour ago. This makes Courtney look around quickly in surprise.

"Oh", she says when she sees Ami. "Hi."

"Hey you", Ami says sweetly, looking right into Courtney's eyes. "Is everything alright? You just left without a word…"

"I just needed a private moment", Courtney says, looking away. "With god."

"Right", Ami says. "But are you sure you're fine, sweetie? Is it the message about the challenge that got you upset?"

Courtney scoffs. "That's going to be a fun challenge, don't you think? Where everybody can just lay it all out in the open, express what they really feel… It's gonna be a blast."

It is evident that Ami tries to find the right thing to say. Whey she asks: "are you worried about what gonna be said about you?", it is evident that she could not find it.

"Come on, Ami", Courtney says, and she sounds different than the Courtney I know, or think I know, "that stuff doesn't concern me anymore."

"You can talk to me freely", Ami says, "I won't judge you, I promise."

"I'm sure you won't" says Courtney, finally looking back at Ami. "But he will."

When Cirie's interview ends, it is completely dark. The night-vision button is already pressed for more than half an hour, because it was even darker in the cave. I take a peek at my covered-up watch before we get back to camp. Eight thirty pm. Any minute now, Julio is supposed to appear in his annoying way and take camera from my hands. I am starving. I wonder what is for dinner. I hope it is not pizza, or mushrooms, or potatoes. I need something that would take my mind off of this place. I need a break. I need sleep.

I can only see Rafe, Terry and Ami when I set foot at camp. At first, I think it is because of the darkness that I cannot see anyone else, but then I follow Cirie to the shelter where the three of them are sitting, and I hear what they have to say.

"Where is everybody?" Cirie asks, voicing my thoughts.

"Disappeared one by one", Rafe says gloomily. "Each with a different excuse. Probably huddled somewhere, deciding which one of us is the next to go. Remember when we used to do that?"

"The good old days", Terry sighs, and they all fall into a depressing silence. This is not exactly what you call riveting television, so I decide to go and look for the rest. Shirley, of course, is nowhere to be seen once again - she left me somewhere between here and the cave - so I do not even have to ask for permission.

I go down to the ocean, but there is no one there. I go up to the tree-mail hill, but there is no one there. I even go as far as circling the entire island, which takes me about forty minutes, but there is no one anywhere. Julio was supposed to be here already, but I am not surprised that he is lat. It is expected of him, to tell the truth.

And besides, the silent night is something different to experience. All day, I am surrounded by people; loud, outspoken people. Up until now, I have not realized how much I have missed being all by myself, with only the moon keeping me company.

It all falls slowly and quietly into place - I have been too invested in this game to remember that it is, after all, a game. That I have people that I love, that love me back and that are waiting for me at home. That there are more than a few dozens of people on this planet. That Jeff Probst is only a host of a television show, and that Shirley is only a producer, and the contestants are only contestants.

And that I am only me, and that I cannot be more than that, even if I try real hard. This brings me comfort.

I am walking in the forest, only me and my camera, giving in to my thoughts. Just when I am starting to get used to it, I find them, in all their loudness and outspokenness. It feels like they are the ones to find me, not the other way around. They are sitting on the logs that have not found their way to camp yet since two and a half days ago.

"Another two challenges", Eliza says, "that Cirie almost wins, and that Terry doesn't even come close to winning. That alone should give us some clue as to who we should get rid of first. Cirie is more likable. Cirie is more cunning. Cirie is more -"

"Alright", Jonathan cuts her aggressively. "Eliza, we get the point. We've heard both sides. Let's have a show of hands, shall we? Who here thinks we should vote off Cirie next?"

It is almost unanimous. Only Cindy and Courtney do not raise their hands.

"Than it's decided", Jonathan sums up. No need to dwell on it." And he gets up and leaves. Others follow.

Only Yau-Man remains seated. When the place is almost deserted, he says softly: "Katie, Ian, may I have a quick word with you two?"

"Everyone wants a word with us nowadays", Ian says, sighing deeply. "Oh, the price of instant stardom."

"Maybe we should start charging", Katie suggests, and they both sit down opposite Yau-Man.

"What's up?"

"Eliza talked to me earlier today", Yau-Man says, "and I understand that she talked to you as well."

"Well, yeah", Ian says immediately.

"And you have both agreed", Yau-Man continues, "to her offer of a final five."

"Well, yes, we did", Ian says immediately.

"While actually planning to get rid of me the moment you get the chance."

This time, Ian does not say anything immediately, and after a while he does not say anything either. In truthfulness, what do you say to a statement like this, especially if it is correct?

"It is completely fine that you want me gone, I can understand why", Yau-Man says, surprisingly calmly. This is weird. "You are scared that I will get to the end, and that people would vote for me to win. You are convinced that I would not contribute anything to your success in the game - on the contrary, you think I might jeopardize it. That is why I want to make you an offer that would prove otherwise - that I can be beneficial, even crucial, to your game."

Katie frowns, examining Yau-Man carefully. "We're listening", she says.

"After we get rid of Cirie, Terry, Rafe and Ami, we find ourselves at a crossroad", You-Man explains himself. "No more enemies to take care of, only us eight. We become each other's enemies. It is then that you have a decision to make - you either keep your word and vote with myself, Courtney and Eliza, or you are doing the tempting thing, and vote out yours truly.

This is my offer - if I come back from that tribal council alive, if you spare me and I find myself in the final seven, I promise that at the following tribal council, I would vote whichever way you'd want me to. At that tribal council, my piece of parchment is yours."

Ian and Katie look at Yau-Man like he is some kind of a mental patient. Yau-Man, however, seems confident in his offer - no sign of hesitation is visible on his face.

"It's a deal", Ian says awkwardly, as though afraid that Yau-Man might take his offer back.

"Good", Yau-Man says, although from my point of view it is not good at all, and he walks away, leaving Katie and Ian glued to the log they are sitting on.

It is now eleven thirty pm., and everyone is asleep. Everyone except for me.

Julio has never been that late. He is hurting his reputation, and that is something of note, as his reputation is pretty hurt to begin with.

I wonder why Russ does not wake him up and send him here - maybe Julio is not even in the tent. But where is he?

Shirley is long gone. Her shift ended hours ago. There are not any producers here - only two sound-men, and two cameramen, and for some reason, I am one f them.

I have already walked around the island again, to see if I could do it in less than forty minutes. I can. I can do it in thirty. And also in twenty five. And in twenty three.

Now I am overseeing an experiment to find out who snores the loudest. Yau-Man is doing pretty well, and so does Ian. Before starting the experiment, I betted on Jonathan to win it - but strangely enough, no sound comes from his direction, not even a faint wheeze. I find out why that is soon enough.

Without any warning, and with no apparent reason, he sits up straight, looking around, checking his surroundings like a curious hound. When he does not find whatever it is he is looking for (or perhaps he does), he makes a signal with his hand to someone at the far end of the shelter. That person immediately gets up and walks over to Jonathan. Only then do I see that it is Katie.

"Let's go", she whispers, and they take off. I take off after them, of course.

"It's about time we'd take one of our midnight walks", Jonathan says once they are completely out of the shelter's earshot. "The last one we had was three frigging nights ago."

Behind them, I take the cover off my watch and check what time it is.11:43 pm. At first I wonder why they are not having their midnight walk at, well, midnight. Then I remember that they do not know the exact time for almost fourteen days. For them, midnight is right after the sun goes down.

"It is about time", I hear Katie say. "You have no idea what went down today. I have been waiting for hours for the opportunity to tell you. It's huge."

I can practically hear Jonathan's head turning in Katie's direction, or at least I think I can. Maybe it was just the wind. "What is it?" he asks loudly.

"I have been approached today", Katie says in a dramatic voice. "By two separate alliances. And I gave my word to both of them."

And she goes on to tell him about Eliza cornering her and Ian and Courtney in the forest; about Cindy cornering her after the challenge in a very similar fashion; and about Yau-Man and his peculiar offer made a few hours ago. When she is done, Jonathan does not talk at first. I run forward so I can face them - I want to catch Jonathan's expression. This is challenging, walking backwards, and I am afraid that any minute I might fall into a hole and die, but it is worth it.

"So…what are you planning on doing?" Jonathan asks at last, very cautiously.

"You mean", Katie says, "what are we planning on doing."

"What?" Jonathan is caught off guard. He sounds very confused by the whole situation. "So you're not gonna follow either of these alliances?"

"Of course not", Katie says simply. "My alliance is with you, and the offers I got don't include you, so obviously I'm not gonna go along with them."

"But you've said yes to them both."

"What was I supposed to say? 'No thank you, please look for another alliance that does not include me'? I'm not suicidal."

When Jonathan does not say anything, she adds: "You're not questioning my word to you, are you? Because it's valid. Why else would I be spilling all my beans to you, at night, when I could have had a perfectly good sleep right about now?"

"You're right", Jonathan says finally. "I trust you."

"You should", Katie says. "What do you think, that I'm walking around all day, giving my word to everyone who asks me to? Well, I did sort of do that today, but those were special circumstances…"

"Don't sweat over it", Jonathan says. "You did what you had to do; it was the right way to act. Now we just have to make sense of it all. So, Cindy and Julie want you, Eliza and Courtney with them at the five. But Eliza would have none of that. She immediately runs and forms a new alliance, with Yau-Man and Ian instead of Julie and Cindy."

"So she's either afraid of Cindy and Julie, or she's really fond of Ian and Yau-Man."

"Or she wants to be in control. Or it's a combination of those things. Maybe she has a tight alliance with Ian or Yau-Man. A final-two alliance. Julie and Cindy's offer to her does not include her companion. In her mind, Cindy and Julie are now her companion's enemies, and she has to form a new alliance, an alliance that doesn't include the enemy."

"But is it Ian or Yau-Man?" Katie asks, frustrated. "Either of them doesn't make sense. Nobody would pair up with Yau-Man - not while they're sober, anyway. And I hang with Ian a lot; I didn't notice anything between him and Eliza."

"Maybe they're secretive, like us."

"No, I don't think that's the case", Katie says thoughtfully. "I think I have Ian in a place where he tells me everything that's going on."

"Which is more than he can say for you."

Katie chooses not to respond to this.

"Either way", she says instead, "Eliza now knows that Cindy and Julie are planning on having an end-game that doesn't include her partner. That probably means that Eliza is now planning on having an end-game that doesn't include Cindy and Julie."

Jonathan ponders this for awhile. "Does it mean that we have to choose sides? This early? Or are we gonna wait until it's just us eight? What do you think?"

"I'm thinking…" says Katie, and she thinks. And then her face lights up. "I'm thinking, neither. Interrupt me if I'm too far off, but I have an idea… a risky one."

"I like risky ideas", Jonathan says. "Go on."

"Let's say I play along with one of the alliances I've been offered. We reach the final eight. Then, sometime over the following nine days, the inevitable comes. They tell me to vote for you, and I have no comeback."

"But you won't, right? You're going to stay true to your word."

"Yes, I am, but what good would that do to me, or you? Then they won't trust either of us. Instead, we need them to add you into the alliance."

"Well, I'm sure they will, if we would just ask politely…"

"But there is a way", Katie says, kind of manically. "A wacky one, but still, a way…"

"What's that?" Jonathan asks, and I think that he is skeptical.

"Think of the reason that you're not included."

"It's easy", Jonathan says immediately. "It's because only a crazy person would make a pact with me, considering my reputation. No offense."

"No", Katie says. "The reason is that there are better options. More attractive options. With the main one being Courtney."

"But what can we do about it?" asks Jonathan. "Courtney is the perfect goat to take to the final stages of the game. She is probably gonna stay here 'till the end."

"Not if we get rid of her. Right now."

I am exposed. I walk around camp exposed. I feel like one of my arms has been cut off from my body, but in actuality it is much worse than that. My dream job is no longer mine. As much trouble as I had with some aspects of this work, I could not ask for anything better. And now it has been snatched from my fingers by a cold-hearted devil woman. Anger is rising in me, making my head dizzy, making it hard to walk a straight line - but I do not have to walk a straight line anyway. I do not have to walk anywhere. I have nowhere to walk anymore.

I bump into something and fall to the ground. This is what happens when you do not know where you are heading.

My head is spinning. I try to stabilize it by holding it with my two hands.

When the pain lessens, I look at what I had bumped into.

It is Courtney.

"I am… so sorry", I say pathetically.

"It's my fault", she says, standing up. She had fallen as well. I made Courtney fall. "I wasn't looking where I…" her voice trails away as she examines me. I suddenly realize that now I am just a cameraless man wondering around the contestants' camp with no apparent reason. "Are you one of the producers?" She asks me curiously. "I haven't noticed you before…"

"I have noticed you", I say, and immediately hate myself for saying it. "I mean - I am a cameraman. Only I am without my camera. So you could say I am just a man now."

She smiles, and reaches out a hand to help me get up. I take it, maybe too enthusiastically.

"Don't tell anyone", Courtney says to me when we are standing close to one another, "but I am woman of faith, only without the faith part. So you could say I'm just a woman. Does that make you feel better about your condition?"

"No", I say, "but thank you."

We stand there for a short while, looking at each other in silence. It is weird, but it feels natural somehow.

"It's pleasant", Courtney says to me, "talking to someone outside this game. It takes the pressure off. It puts things in perspective."

"I am glad to be of service", I say, and suddenly I realize what I am doing. I am not allowed to talk to her. I am probably not allowed to be in this part of the island. This is totally unlike me. But somehow it feels right.

"Are you OK?" she asks me, probably because I stare at her, deep in thoughts.

"I will be OK, I think. And you?"

"I was kind of going through a rough time", she says, and I do not know why she is so open to someone she has not met before. "But I think things are finally beginning to brighten up."

"It is good to hear", I say to her. Inside me, everything falls into place.

_____________________________________________________________________

Half an hour later, I am still not over my encounter with Courtney.

And as if things are not surreal enough, I can see a familiar figure walking towards me, a figure I am not used to seeing in this section of the island.

"Russ? What are you doing here?"

"Taking up your place, mate", Russ says, patting me on my camera-free shoulder. "Shirley came to the crew's camp, said something happened to you and that I need to take my camera and replace you out here. I couldn't ask her what's wrong, though - before I got a grip she was gone with the wind. Never a quiet moment with that spawn of Satan.

But you look alright to me - what happened exactly?"

"Long story", I say, as Russ would not understand why I acted the way I did.

"I've got time", he says with a shrug. "I'm not exactly anxious to film these baastards trying to stab each other in the back while starving."

"Why do you always do that?" I ask him.

"What am I doing?" he asks defensively. "Just because I'm not having an orgasm over these folks like are, it doesn't mean that I have a problem."

"You always act like you suffer here", I say. I do not know why I have suddenly decided to say things I do not usually say, but now I cannot stop. "Like it could not be worse, and you are waiting for it to end."

"Maybe that's because I am waiting for it to end", he says, looking pissed. "I'm waiting for the check to arrive, so I could take the first flight home."

"And then what?" I ask.

"Then I'll pay some debts down under. Meet some people I'm not keen on meeting. It's not gonna be an enjoyable time, but I gotta go through it -"

"For what purpose?" I ask.

"For what pur…" Russ seems lost for words. "What are you getting at, Donald?"

"That you are going to die", I say. "You are going to die miserable, and angry, and you are going to look back on your long life, ad you are going to ask yourself how it had gone by so uneventfully, and you are going to try and remember, without any success whatsoever, when, in all this time, you weren't just waiting for something to be over, When were you actually living.

Look around you. Look where you are. You are not going to get this kind of opportunity again. You are one of the luckiest people in the world. Start acting like one."

I have no idea what have gotten into me. Russ is left speechless. I probably should not have said half the things I did. But I am so tired of worrying about what I do and do not say.

_____________________________________________________________________

I figure I am not really allowed to stay at the contestants' camp. And I do not really want to go to the crew's camp, in case I run into Shirley. So I decide to head to the only place that would have me - the forest.

I walk in familiar routs, and at some that are not familiar.

Time passes by.

I feel changed, somehow. I feel more relaxed. But my heart still does a back-flip every time I think about Courtney, and about how she had finally found some piece, and about how she is going to be voted out tonight in that cold-hearted fashion.

I do not want to think about it, so I walk some more, deeper into the forest.

"Why did we have to come all the way here?" I hear from a distance. Apparently I am not the only one looking for some privacy. I get closer, close enough to see that Cirie and Jonathan are standing in the middle of a cluster of big trees. I use my knowledge as an ex-cameraman to practically get into spitting distance from them without them actually noticing me.

"I think you'll find that it's in your best interest for this conversation to be unheard", Cirie says smugly.

"Why's that?" Jonathan says loudly. "What have I got to hide?"

"I don't know", Cirie says in a high-pitched voice. "Your final-two alliance with Katie, perhaps?"

Jonathan looks at Cirie with his mouth open. For a long while he forgets to close it. "How do you know?" he says at last.

"I've heard you two talkin' four nights ago", Cirie says victoriously. "I was up on our shelter's tree, retrieving the necklace that saved my ass at tribal, when your two voices carried all the way up to my ears. You where taking a trip together, while you thought everybody was asleep, and you were talking freely about how you plan to get to the end together. Riveting, captivating stuff, really."

"You've… told anyone?" Jonathan asks, looking like he is trying to stay calm.

"Not yet", Cirie says casually, raising both her eyebrows. "But that's not to say I wouldn't ever. Keeping secrets is bad, Jonathan. It eats you from the inside…"

"What is it that you want?" Jonathan cuts right to the point, apparently tired of playing games.

"Nothing special", Cirie says, thriving in the role of the blackmailer that is so not like her. "You know, the basic stuff. A promise that you won't get rid of me before the rest of my alliance. That leaves me at least three free-passes - four, if I can count on you to actually vote for Courtney tonight - and then we'll see what happens."

"Or else?" Jonathan tries his luck. "What happens if I don't play by your rules?"

"You could do that", Cirie says. "You could even vote me out in a few hours, but let's just say that in that case, my final words won't be in front of a cameraman in a distant booth. They'd be right there, at tribal council, in front of everyone. You just have to decide whether it's worth it for you."

After Jonathan and Cirie part ways, I continue my walk. You would think that their voices would be the only voices I hear in this abandoned part of the island. But soon enough, I hear another set of voices, a very different kind of voices.

It sounds like someone might be in trouble. I walk at a quicker pace towards where the noise is coming from.

"Stop it, it hurts", I hear, and I recognize the voice immediately. It is Shirley's voice. Shirley is in trouble.

I begin to run.

"Julio, what are you doing?"

Julio is hurting Shirley. I try to get there as fast as I can. I have to stop this.

"Julio, not there, I liked it better when you did this thing with your tongue."

I finally get there, and immediately regret it. It is indeed Shirley, and Julio is indeed with her, and they are both lying there, between the bushes and the trees, and I get an eyeful of them - I certainly see more than I wish to see.

"Hello", I say, looking away, a little amused.

"Donald!" Shirley says - she almost screams it, she is so surprised - "What are you doing here? Because - because we certainly aren't doing anything!"

"Yes, I can see that", I say and smile - I cannot help but smile.

"El Donald, it is very nice to seeing you, how are you been?" Julio asks me, standing up, picking up some of his clothes.

"I am alright", I say, amused - and suddenly things make more sense. "This is why you are always disappearing", I say to Shirley. "And you -" I look at Julio, " - Of course you are always late, you do not exactly get much sleep during the day, seeing that you're… busy…"

Shirley stands up as well, red with shame. "I'm sorry you had to see this, Donald", she says kindly, "Julio and I are - well, it is what it is, and now you know. I'm assuming I can trust you to… not tell anyone?"

"Of course", I say good-naturedly. Nothing seems serious anymore; everything seems like a light-hearted joke. "Your secret is safe with me."

"That's nice", Shirley smiles at me. She suddenly seems like a real person, without any shields to hide behind. "I really appreciate it, Donald."

"I guess I will see you guys later", I say, wanting more than anything to leave those two alone.

"Wait, you forgot something!" Shirley calls after me. I turn around.

She hands me my camera.