Survivor:Tatooine-Episode 2 "Queerer then a Clockwork Orange" in progress in Lions, Tigers, Survivors

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Survivor:Tatooine-Episode 2 "Queerer then a Clockwork Orange" in progress

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Dr Will Hatch two point oh	Survivor:Tatooine-Episode 2 "Queerer then a Clockwork Orange" in progress	Lead	[-]
Posts: 3189 (04/16/08 08:27 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts	I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. Remove this ad ....will begin on Thursday. Anyway,heres the cast! DRAKE:Rupert,Sandra,Jon,Christa,Shawn,Michelle,Burton,Trish CASAYA:Aras,Cirie,Shane,Courtney,Bobby,Danielle,Bruce,Melinda TAGI:Richard,Sue,Rudy,Kelly,Sean,Stacey,Dirk,Sonja How will the tribal dynamics be different from these mega tribes first time? Find out tommorrow on Survivor:Tatooine Last Edited By: Dr Will Hatch two point oh 07/23/08 10:10 PM. Edited 2 times.
CSCin3D		#1	[-]
Posts: 7921 (04/16/08 08:29 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Melinda/Stacey F2 pls
Edinboro		#2	[-]
Posts: 881 (04/16/08 08:38 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Why do you people waste your time doing this?
Dr Will Hatch two point oh		#3	[-]
Posts: 3190 (04/16/08 08:46 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Its no different then pretending to be an old chinese man Edinboro!
Edinboro		#4	[-]
Posts: 886 (04/16/08 08:58 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Whose pretending?
TW After Life		#5	[-]
Posts: 63 (04/16/08 10:08 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	24 people is too many for one season. Will not read.
PKFA		#6	[-]
Posts: 441 (04/16/08 10:33 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts	How dare you exclude Tina from Casaya.
ptcruisn56		#7	[-]
Posts: 4313 (04/16/08 10:55 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts	What about the Tusken Raiders?
survivorisdabest		#8	[-]
Posts: 1535 (04/17/08 12:32 AM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts	A Jon/Rupert alliance will have me in t.ears.
MyChemicalShowmance		#9	[-]
Posts: 297 (04/17/08 10:24 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Spoiler [+] With 24 players, a jury of 12 will be voting among the Final 5 players to see who wins the 1 million. Current spoilers are not very decisive, pointing to a F5 consisting of a fatass, a dumbass, a freak, a spiritual fruitcake, and a horse... so much for spoilers...
Bobby Jon goes apeshit		#10	[-]
Posts: 1070 (04/17/08 10:29 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. Remove this ad Bobby/Bruce FTW!
Dr Will Hatch two point oh		#11	[-]
Posts: 3193 (04/17/08 07:12 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Episode 1:Requiem JEFF PROBST: For this season of Survivor, we've decided to up the ante. Instead of living among the relics of some long forgotten civilization or on some forsaken desolte island, we are heading to Tatooine, home of Luke Skywalker and a generation earlier,his infamous father. Tatooine is a dark, forboding planet, with an endless,barren desert, and wild creatures such as sandpeople,jawas,and krayt dragons. For the next 42 days, three former tribes will live here. Can they learn to adapt and become one with the land? We wil soon find out (dramatic pan over the desert, emphasizing Jeff being alone amongst the dunes): 42 days, three former tribes, 1 SURVIVOR! duh duh duh. We see a starship heading to the planet Tatooine. On board, the venerable Han Solo and his first mate,Chewbacca. Courtney:Whats this do?! Han Solo:Don't touch that! We'll fly right through a star! CHEWIE, where the hell are ya! GROOWVKVK(im knocking back whisky with my new bud Bobdawg) Shane:Can I bum a cigerrete before we land? Chewie:rofekj(OK) Shane:lights up I can't believe I have to spend another two months with that fat bitch Cirie and fucking nutcase Courtney. Bobby:Tell me about it c3p0:oh dear Han:Shut up Threepio, your supposed to be searching everyone for contraband Artoo:beepbeep Aras(confessional):Even though Im a previous winner, I still think I might do ok on an insane tribe like this Melinda stares out the viewport (shot of space) Han:alright,and the coordinates say to land directly right...here. Chewbacca knocks the cig out of Shanes mouth And the Casaya tribe is let loose The Tagi tribe are,one by one, walking through a Ramsbotham gate. They immediatly see their tribal flag("Same old Tagi" says Kelly). Seans gives Dirk an affectionate slap on the ass, and Dirk replies in kind Sean:you're married now dude? Dirk:yeah, and a little tyke too Sue:So you've fucked finally?! Dirk:Yeah,like several years ago infact Sue:Oh Richard finds somes moisture condensers and starts working on them Richard:"No fish to catch" with a look of worry Richard(confessional):I guess I'm going to have to kill a bantha Sur(confessional):Rich is done. We need him for now, but hes not getting anywhere near the end Dirk(confessional):I think theres a consensus right now that we don't really need Rich right now. Not to say he couldn't help us with challenges, but that we could do without him Kelly(confessional):Im definatly ready to come back and kick ass again. And this time I'm prepared to play the game dirty. I've come to realize that it is only a game, and I was a little naive the first time around Rudy(confessional):I don't know. Rudy:lets get a latrine going that way, and since theres no law out here, I don't see why we can't go on a bantha chase Rich:here,here. Lets propose a toast, to good times had by all and more meaningful experiance Richard(confessional):I definatly don't like Tatooine, its a dessert planet with little natural beauty and no real history, save for some of the phony bologna myths about Jedis and Galactic Empires. I really wanted someplace interesting, and some place where I could get my thoughts together, but this place is Survivor to the max. We are going to spend all our time surviving HERE. Anyway, as much as much as I dislike the place, I'm good to go survival wise, it'll again, be the people who are a little more challenging. But I've got the million doller check written already,I'm the winner,and its that kind of cocky attitude that makes people really hate your guts, so I'll have to keep it under wraps. Its just,where do I go from here? Last Edited By: Dr Will Hatch two point oh 07/23/08 10:11 PM. Edited 3 times.
Dr Will Hatch two point oh		#12	[-]
Posts: 3195 (04/17/08 08:29 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts	pirate music With the courtesy of some New Genesis Survivor fans, the Drake tribe was able to use a boom tube to arive at their camp. Sandra:ugh,its even too hot for my PuertoRican ass! Christa:Cheer up Sandra, we are having abother amazing adventure! Look on the bright side, we will probably win the first immunity challenge, and if we don't we can defeinatly afford to expend a couple of these boobs! Sandra:Yeah,if we can convince Jon to break down again,like a bitch by the way, we will be set. I can handle Shawn and Burtons preening bullshit, and besides,they are powerless anyway. Christa:SO lets just enjoy the ride? Sandra:lets Rupert immediatly gets to work on the moisture condensers,when he hear Burton yells, "We've found a spring"! Rupert:"Well I'll be Grace O Malleys red headed stepchild. In the middle of this desert? Burton:"The note says, courtesy of Luke Skywalker" Jon:Thats awesome, I didn't know the Force could do that! Now I'll ask him for a bigger penis next time I see him Michelle:giggles (confessional): I think we need Fairplay for our alliance, and if we can pull in Trish, we can have something good going ones Shawn approach Jon "So are we good bro"? Jon:"yeah,we're cool,if we lose the challenge,Sandras out of here" (Shawn gives weasely laugh) They began to collect wood and attempted at a fire. Later on, a Jawa walks by indiscriminatly and offers to barter some food and maybe a few droids, but they find out that no droids are allowed on camp. They get some blue milk, some rare fish from some planet in the mid rim, bantha steak and some Mars bars. Jon offers to sell him some X, but the Jawa doesn't know what that is. Times are good, and Rupert tells some stories about how he and his pirate buddies once ransacked Madagascar. Jon:Stop making this shit up! And he pulls off Ruperts skirt,and Rupert runs away, with everyone else laughing(except Sandra, who rebukes Jon in an offensive tirade). Shawn follows by talking how hes the world greatest salesman, followed by an inebriated Jon telling him to go suck a cock. Shawn:You got owned by Danny Bonaduce and a third rate comic, I'm not the one whos been owned,alright?" Random conversations continue throughout the evening Back at Casaya, Aras and Bobby are the first to find the spring. They rejoice in the fact that only they know about it. Aras: We're both targets, theres no reason we shouldn't align. Bobby: We'll both be excess baggage to the rest of the tribe though Aras:Yeah, but if we play it cool, we can parley it to a ride to the merge,and then we reacess Bobby:You read my mind Bobby(confessionals):So we shook hands like gentlemen,and agreed to work together.I promised I wouldn't shit in the place where we store wood(what wood),and he promised to not be a pretentious yogi in training. (walking back to camp) Bobby;You kind of look like Luke a little Aras:Maybe I'll have some of his Jedi powers if I concentrate real hard then Bobby:Maybe, just maybe Bobby(confessional):my dragons just lurking beneath the surface Last Edited By: Dr Will Hatch two point oh 04/30/08 08:49 PM. Edited 1 times.
Jack Tourette		#13	[-]
Posts: 1320 (04/18/08 11:07 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	This is officially the dumbest/worst/unfunniest fan fic of all time.
Dr Will Hatch two point oh		#14	[-]
Posts: 3196 (04/19/08 12:14 AM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts	DAY 2-Casaya Shane:So what kind of horse is Danielle do you think? Bobby:Beats me, my best guess is a kladruber or an italian draft horse. I have to say though, as much as I hate her,shes one hot looking horse. No jury in the world would convict me of beastiality Shane:Yeah, I outta take her to the animal version of Spagos and afterwords show her a good time Cirie and Melinda laugh Melinda:Thats so mean Meleinda(confesssional):Oh my goodness, why did I sign up to do this again,especially with this crowd? Escuse me for my whining, because I actually think I have an advantage going in to this game. Bob has made up for last time and is definatly the focal point of who the alliances want to rely on. What I want to do is to get me and Cirie, Bob and Bruce and Danielle together. I think we can manage without Courtney and Shane. Melinda:So Bruce,can I ask you something? Bruce:Sure Mel Melinda:How about you,me,Cirie,Bobby and Danielle sticking together. We'll have Aras around as a hanger on, but he'll be on the outside looking in Bruce:I think thats wonderful Melinda:SO your in? Bruce:Sure Bruce(confessional):Its really troublesome to me that I had to leave the game last time in such an embarresing way,and I'm looking forward to breaking peoples expectations. Everyone pretty much knows about the plan, but Shane seems suprisingly calm while Courtney deals with it in her usual passive aggressive way. Aras:"Guys,can we have a group hug?", while Bobby looks at him unapprovingly TAGI Richard:Look at this huge mess of rats! Stacey: I think we should just cut its head off Rich:"Want to do the honors", as Stacey sulks off "Holy Moses" "Guys, you can thank me for remembering to bring the rat traps, I studied those damn movies and knew about womp rats,so you can all thank me for breakfest"! Sean:"If we wern't living on an entirly different planet, I'd have asked you to catch some of those rats we had on Borneo, they were tastier" Rich: "If I see a rat like the ones on PT, then I'll catch the ones that come from PT,otherwise I'm catching these Sean:"Well these womprats appear to be slow,slow,slow, or you no how to catch them then Richard:"Keep me and I'll wrestle a krayt dragon" Sean:"I don't know what I'd do without the gay perspective anyway hahahahaha Richard sits down and listens to Sonja twiddle with her ukulele Richard:"I'm really glad you got to raise money for your church" Sonja:"Yeah,it really helped Richard:"I hope we win the confounded challenge so we can spend more time togther, I'm sorry we haven't spent too much time together". Sonja:Don't apoligize! We're friends and I could care less how you want to spend your life. Want to hear the therapist version of "Be my baby"? *(I'll give someone kudos if you actually came up with lyrics to such an oddity) Rich taps his feet and makes a big imprint in the sand. "Thats awesome,awesome,its amazing that a seventy year old woman still wants to do this kind of thing. Sonja:"71 this year" Sean(confessional):I was really the first person who talked about getting a fire going. We worked on it for hours and only got smoke. gWe knuckleheads stilll don't no how to make a fire after 8 years, and then I realized,damn, the magnifying properties of a drop of water and glasses. Rudy remembered to bring a pair along, so they had a fire and hat rat sandwiches(well,not really) DRAKE-Night 2 Burton(confessional): Slightly after it got dark, the sudden realization that we had a pretty awful shelter next to the spring really hit home. To make it totally clear, the adage about rats crawling over your face is a genuine one, because hoards of womp rats were bothering people all night Jon: We couldn't have moved to a more ghetto place. I thought someone was reaching up my rectum and it turned out to be a rat! Sandra(laughs):Did you really think one of the women here would put up with you Jon? Jon: Listen, I'm going through some really serious shit right now. I've got a kid at home that was totally unexpected,and I don't want to be a deadbeat dad, but I continue to put up with bullshit from the media("what media"?, laughs Burton) about Bonaduce and I have to deal with fucking rats! Sandra:You knew what you were coming into going into this! Sandra(confessional):I can't stand Jon for being such a baby. He knew exactly what he was getting into, but he still complains. I feel sorry for his daughter. Christa is laughling silently yet the expression on her face shows that shes in stiches Jon:At least we'll have some rat stew in the morning Rupert:Exactly, those traps must be filling up pretty nicely Trish:"Wheres our milk stashed by the way"? Ru:pert"We have as solution for it, night" DAY 3-TREE MAIL-TAGI Rich:"We've got a clue"! Stacey:"Hooray(eyerolls), now well probably lose one of us losers" Richard:"Water you shall seek in a stream or a well, a flubbitzer points the way,listen to the exodist bell"! Rudy:'What the hell does that mean"? Richard:"They're saying they won't make this contest any easier"! Sue:"They're also saying their poetry writing sucks" (not exactly what it said, but points for anyone who gets the reference from the proceding paragraph)
spnintendo		#15	[-]
Posts: 2419 (04/19/08 01:40 AM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts	I only come for the pretty graphics a la GF.
Hostile6		#16	[-]
Posts: 869 (04/19/08 01:42 AM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Jack Tourette wrote: This is officially the dumbest/worst/unfunniest fan fic of all time. I beg to differ... we are heading to Tatooine, birthplace of Luke Skywalker Han:Shut up Threepio, your supposed to be searching everyone for contraband Artoo:beepbeep Last Edited By: Hostile6 04/19/08 01:46 AM. Edited 1 times.
Dr Will Hatch two point oh		#17	[-]
Posts: 3211 (04/20/08 09:01 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts	DRAKE Rupert:"...a flubbitzer points the way, listen to the exodist bell" Shawn:Well guys, we have to be the strongest tribe out here, so I don't know what there is to worry about Burton:I agree, I mean the other tribe can't be doing as well as us when we have a steady supply of meat. Christa:So heres to winning guys Shawn:And heres to totally dominating the bitches on the other tribe in unison:ONE,TWO,THREE, DRAKE!! (survivor challenge music,think music leading into episode 5 IC of S2) (Dramatic enterences by all three tribes to the Jundland Wastes, otherwise known as challenge HQ(couldnt be called a beach)) JEFF:(big smile)Welcome tribes, how are you liking Tatooine so far, um, Bobby? Bobby:Well I have no problem at all Jeff, I'm a big fan of our tribe and I've dealt with worse then Tatooine Jeff:Really? Bobby:Really Jeff:What about you Jon? Jon: We're also doing great Jeff, never a dull moment and we have full bellies,look at Rupert for proof that we're getting fat Jon:I mean, we got bantha steaks, milk, candy and we'd probably have some chesse if we got a hold of some rennet and good mixing bowls Jeff:You got that from the jawa? Jon:Right Jeff:What did you barter with? Jon:We didn't Trish:He must have been the exception to the rule,he was very friendly, he said he was hired help Jeff:Well, I didn't hear about that, but I'll allow it. Has anyone had any luck with fire? Richard:We have,thanks to Rude here Rudy:Eh, I remembered to bring glasses with me, I don't need them but its better then the lumber method,and we have a pretty good hut down by the spring Kelly:We are the most eqipped tribe by far, were ready to go on a dragon hunt Sean:We are so set, we're never going to want to leave this place Jeff:"Well OK"!, sounding a little impressed despite his skepticism. So you all sound pumped and excited to be here, lets get down to it, this is what your playing for. Flint and steel. That,as well as this, what I consider just as important, immunity.To win immunity, you must place first in our first competition,Quest for Fire. As a tribe, you must all race across this rocky course, using the wok to light torches along the way. Along the way, you must send up runners to light torches at three rocky cliffs.The first tribe to light the wick on either side of the fire spirit,wins immunity. Unfortunatly,the other two tribes will then have a date with me at Tribal Council. Clear?" Various:"Yes Jeff","Got it Jeff", "got it loverboy" "alright, I'll let you stratagize,and we'll get going" (dramatic challenge music,ala africas first ic) Jeff:For fire,and Immunity from tonights Tribal Council. Is everybody ready"? An eager verbal nod followed Jeff:GO! do do do dododo, do do do dododo The tribes raced into the dessert, struggling to keep up with the momentum of their competitiors. The Drake tribe took the early lead, as Burton,Shawn and Rupert were pulling the heavy wok,while sandra lit the torches along the way, perhaps reminiscent of the first challenge on Pearl Islands. The Casayans were also doing quite well with Aras,Bobby and suprisingly Bruce pulling themselves up by their bootstraps after several nasty falls, a few tribemates even gouging themselves on the sharp rock.The Tagis were in the clear third place position, but not that far behind,and as we all know, sheer determination and gumption can many times make all the difference. You can see it in their faces. Tagi was clearly the old tribe of the bunch, but they more then compensated for that. So far, Drake had a one point lead over Casaya, and over Tagi, 3 points(as in, they have three more torches lit). The first runners to the somewhat intimidating cliff were Burton from Drake, Courtney from Casaya.Tagi arrived a few moments leader after the other tribes representitives were reaching the summit Sean:I want to do it, I'm in the best shape Dirk:Let me do it,please! Ive been jonesing for a little competition Sue:"Just go"!,and Dirk raced up the hill, and was resilient enough to actually beat Courtney while running down the cliff. Shane:"What the...",Shane muttered as he saw the sight of Dirk running like the Flash down the cliff."COURTNEY,GET YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN HERE! Courtney:"Don't talk to me like that"! Shane:"Shut it,we're wasting time"! And indeed they had. The Drake and Tagi tribe were now quite a ways ahead of them(in relative terms of course) Torch after endless torch,Jeff wasn't kidding when they said they upped the ante.It felt like they've been racing for days in this endless competition,in this heat, but actually its only been 35 minutes. The tribes have slowed down, some have even stopped to take momentary water breaks. The second climb up the hill was similar to the first, with Dirk coming up first and Burton and Courtney in a dead heat on the way down the hill. Rupert looked exhausted,so did Shane on Casaya. Rudy was showing unflagging determination,surely hes been in worse jams then this, but even he was tired.Even the young studs were feeling it. Along this ridiculous course, and with two thirds of the challenge done, Tagi was in a very vulnurable first place,and Drake and Casaya were pushing eachother out of the way for a chance to catch up. Suddenly, the last cliff that must be ascending has come. They all raced with their might, lighting the torch on the summit. They raced down the hill like madmen, and by some inner drive, Casaya managed to get a lead out of this. Courtney ran down the hill first, and Casaya raced towards the visible finish line. There was no sand, no rocks, a smooth ride to the finish,and it was quite a site to see the three tribes running towards the finish. If one were not aware of what was going on(and didn't see the massive crew), they might of thought this as an epic chariot race (africas first ic music and probably the same imagry as well) duh duh duh JEFF:CASAYA WINS IMMUNITY! A wave of excitement. Everyone kissed and hugged and threw the water buckets at the finish line on eachother, and it even looked like Shane and Courtney reached first base and were working on fourth. Bobdawg let his guard down for one brief moment and he looked proud at his compatriots. Tagi was a close second, followed by Drake,losing their lead due to the inner hatred that this tribe had for eachother. Jeff:Casaya,congratulations on your win. Heres your flint and steel and probably more important to you--- Shane:"Give me that"!, as Shane pulled the idol from Jeff Jeff:"The Immunity idol" Shane kissed it Jeff:"Drake,I'll be seeing you tonight at Tribal Council, where the first member of your tribe will be voted off. Tagi,you'll come right after. Heres a map for each of you,and I'll see you both tonight". Rupert looked pissed Jeff:"Casaya,in honor of your first win, I'll let you burn up the fire spirit" Casaya:WOO...HOO The formal music for such an occasion started playing(in this case, the theme after Pagong won their first challenge), and you could see the beaming faces of Danielle,Aras,Shane,Courtney,Bob,Melinda,Bruce and Cirie as they lit up burning man. WHO WILL BE THE FIRST TWO TO LEAVE? Last Edited By: Dr Will Hatch two point oh 04/20/08 09:14 PM. Edited 1 times.
Syoma		#18	[-]
Posts: 2091 (04/21/08 06:15 AM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Nothing beats Moovivor's fan fics. Darrah: (gathers fahrwood)
Dr Will Hatch two point oh		#19	[-]
Posts: 3214 (04/21/08 07:11 AM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts	*Darrah will play a role in a future episode.
Jack Tourette		#20	[-]
Posts: 1334 (04/21/08 09:33 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. Remove this ad Dr Will Hatch two point oh wrote: DAY 2-Casaya Shane:So what kind of horse is Danielle do you think? AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA......get it.....because we all say Danielle looks like a horse.... ......