Where the fake did these fakers fakin' come from post-ASS? Why the sudden influx of these vapid mactors, pageant dorks, politician-type "I wont say anything mean about anyone" types? BORING AS A SCUNT CUD LEE BLOG ON A WEDNESDAY MORNING AFTER I READ DOONESBURY OVER A BOWL OF CORN FLAKES... WITH SKIM MILK. Bitch.
Amanda takes the crown. You wear it well, you lil fakity fake. No wonder she botched them final jury questions not once, but twice. Almost thrice. Jury saw right thru it. Eliza Manelli (sp?) said it best with the "I cant believe someone could be so superficial!!1!!" in her jury statements. Since she wasnt looking into a mirror, Im assuming she was referring to Amanda.
What begot the new fake queen Amanda? Less emphasis on the "queen" (consolation prizes for J.P., Coby, and Le JeanRobert), and more emphasissing on the "fake". Well, before we go up the fake family tree, we could refer to this season's Alexis Jones, whos father named "Indiana" is an American icon again as of 24 hours ago, even with such a horrible shitty movie ending: Spoiler: Shiiann LeBouf gets screwed by a dirty merge twist, among other thangs. Which just goes to show you that Hollywood fakeness is hereditary and cant be killed off by Hiroshima radiation or Xrays or nuclear convection from leaving your iPod Nano on your balls for more than 26 seconds (that's almost as long as an abridged Stephenie confessional, which in case you missed it, SPARKNOTES -- Her tribe sucks ass *cry*!!).
Let us refer to some of the other post-ASS seasons. Most of our winners post-ASS (not to be confused with post-ANUS, er um, post-ARAS) are the fake diplomat mactor models who were cast two days before filming, except for the fat dude with the chicks haircut and a stewardess weighing in at 37 oz. Its as though the mactresses, OTT Southerners, bartenders, boring minorities, and attorneys that make the jury have all consolidated their retard efforts to now reward the lamest, FAKEST player. Its like a lottery that rewards fakeness. All of them. Sample (I wont name names):
Jury Guy 1: "Whyd ya vote me out at F7? You promised me F6."
Sweetheart: "Im real sorry yall oh heck."
Fake Person: "Your superiorness was too much for us. You were too good a player. Can I suck your cock later to get your vote now?"
Jury Guy 1 votes for: Fake Person.
Jury Slut 5: "I thought you were a chauvinist asshole. Youre only sitting here now because you got a hidden idol."
Honest, Fallible Person: "But I really played the game the best I could. Finding the idol was part of my strategy, and unfortunately I lied to you as well."
Fake Person: *smiles* "I really am just extremely proud of myself for being very, very humble."
Jury Slut 5: *horny*
Jury Slut 5 votes for: Fake Person.
Now that Seasons 15-16 have brought us a fake person finalist who LOST, can we now officially say that the FAKE SURVIVOR CURSE has been broken for good?
















