Colonoscopies What. The. Hell??!?

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TobaccoRhoda	Colonoscopies What. The. Hell??!?	Lead	[-]
Posts: 26023 (05/27/08 10:05 AM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Okay, so here's the deal. I am scheduled for this barbaric thing tomorrow at 10:00 AM. They are gonna run a 10 foot rubber tube with a camera up my ass. You might think this is the worst part, but no. I haven't had anything to eat since dinner last night, and I can't eat until lunch tomorrow. Not only that but there is a gallon of something vile chilling in my fridge right now that I have to start drinking at 3PM. A gallon. And I got a sneaking feeling it's gonna want to come back out as quickly as it goes in. I think I'll just kill myself instead.
Penelope McBagpipe		#1	[-]
Posts: 2140 (05/27/08 10:07 AM) Geenyus extraordinaire Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	This thread is everything without pics.
Hamdingers		#2	[-]
Posts: 7702 (05/27/08 10:08 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Well, she's going to have some soon enough.
Buggles73		#3	[-]
Posts: 25995 (05/27/08 10:09 AM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Just think. Some people insert larger items, for fun.
Mom HOLIO		#4	[-]
Posts: 300 (05/27/08 10:09 AM) Registered Adult Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	The exact reason why I have put off making my appointment for that monster test. I'm diabetic and I don't know how a fast and medications are going to work. I'm sure that they will be able to tell me how to do this at the doctor's, but its a good reason, don't you think? Post how you did (or pm me), please.
Hamdingers		#5	[-]
Posts: 7703 (05/27/08 10:10 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Yeah. It's probably a pretty small camera. Some people probably put a whole Nikon D2X up there with a Zoom and a lens hood. JUST FOR SHITS AND...uh...kicks.
TobaccoRhoda		#6	[-]
Posts: 26025 (05/27/08 10:10 AM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	On the bright side, the Versed will provide the first decent sleep I've had in 3 years. On the not so bright side, I understand that Versed does nothing for pain, it simply is an amnesiac. You feel everything and remember nothing.
HoboKitty		#7	[-]
Posts: 1085 (05/27/08 10:10 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	My father has had this done lots of times. It isn't bad at all. Unless you have a crappy doctor. Then you could die. Seriously. Sign your will. Good luck!
Cleofuss		#8	[-]
Posts: 1234 (05/27/08 10:14 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	My sister works for the company who develops the machines that clean these scopes after each use. She's a poop removal engineer.
merkyl		#9	[-]
Posts: 53581 (05/27/08 10:15 AM) Registered loser Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	So you gonna let hubby nail you in the pooper afterwards?
Viking Pete		#10	[-]
Posts: 734 (05/27/08 10:18 AM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	I had it done. The tube expands like a balloon so they don't miss anything. Oh, and that liquid WILL drain everything out of your intestines.
Buggles73		#11	[-]
Posts: 25997 (05/27/08 10:19 AM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Well that should brighten her day.
B DeBrun		#12	[-]
Posts: 16693 (05/27/08 10:20 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite
Hamdingers		#13	[-]
Posts: 7704 (05/27/08 10:20 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Hey, anytime a woman loses a couple of pounds, regardless of method, they're usually giddy as hell.
Aunt Pappy		#14	[-]
Posts: 16133 (05/27/08 10:21 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	The worst part of this is the fasting/drinking the cocktail from hell/pooping. Stay within feet from your toilet at all times. The procedure itself is a breeze, and you're right--you remember nothing.
xabana		#15	[-]
Posts: 6504 (05/27/08 10:26 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	The fun part is pissing out of your ass. Because it'll get to that point.
SmrtAss		#16	[-]
Posts: 2630 (05/27/08 10:28 AM) Lazy ass bitch, please Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Definitely the worst part is drinking the gallon of vile liquid. I was supposed to finish in a set amount of time, but it took me many more hours. The object is to have clear liquid spewing from your ass. If you are unable to drink the entire gallon and you've accomplished the goal of clear liquids coming out, you're fine. The test itself is easy peasy due to drugs. The only thing I recall from the test is the nurse reminding me to breathe. Was I so far under I was forgetting to? I dunno, but she repeated the admonishment more than once. "BREATHE, SMRTASS. DON'T FORGET TO BREATHE."
worstdog		#17	[-]
Posts: 2943 (05/27/08 10:29 AM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	My mom said it was a toss-up as to which was worse - drinking the nasty gallon of snot or the constant dribble-shit.
xabana		#18	[-]
Posts: 6505 (05/27/08 10:31 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	I actually woke up during the fucking procedure and felt the worst pain in my lower abdomen - felt like a knife. The doctor saw me and said "uh oh", signaled to the nurse and then I was back under.
Aunt Pappy		#19	[-]
Posts: 16135 (05/27/08 10:31 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	By the way, I now hate jello.
r		#20	[-]
Posts: 2495 (05/27/08 10:32 AM) Registered loser Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	I hope to die before I need one.

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Colonoscopies What. The. Hell??!?

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