Colonoscopies What. The. Hell??!?

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TobaccoRhoda		#81	[-]
Posts: 26035 (05/27/08 12:07 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Not only woke up, but saw my colon on the screen. The doctor says I didn't, but then I told him the convo he was having with the nurse about marlin fishing and he shut the fuck up.
nedloh3		#82	[-]
Posts: 3878 (05/27/08 12:07 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	"Why did you put your response in a spreadsheet? " I was busy & I'm anal about spellchecking & I was using my Lotus 123 speadsheet so I copy & pasted.
Mister Slippery		#83	[-]
Posts: 14734 (05/27/08 12:08 PM) Registered Abuser Administrator Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	TobaccoRhoda wrote: Okay, so here's the deal. I am scheduled for this barbaric thing tomorrow at 10:00 AM. They are gonna run a 10 foot rubber tube with a camera up my ass. You might think this is the worst part, but no. I haven't had anything to eat since dinner last night, and I can't eat until lunch tomorrow. Not only that but there is a gallon of something vile chilling in my fridge right now that I have to start drinking at 3PM. A gallon. And I got a sneaking feeling it's gonna want to come back out as quickly as it goes in. I think I'll just kill myself instead. I did a colonoscopy about a month or so ago. They scheduled me at 7:30 in the AM which was good because it meant less time awak that day jonesing for my daily cup of coffee. The gallon of nasty laxative will indeed start coming out again in short time - and you probably just want to set up a TV and laptop next to the toilet - cuzz your gonna be in there for a while. Oh and they will knock you out - you won't have a clue what they are doing.
Angela in WI		#84	[-]
Posts: 22746 (05/27/08 12:08 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Thank fucking God I did not have to go through this 4 years ago when I didn't take a solid shit for 3 months after my son's birth and then 2 weeks before colonoscopy the solid shit gods rang down again.
Aunt Pappy		#85	[-]
Posts: 16139 (05/27/08 12:09 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Thanks for sharing, Angie!
TequilaVaquero		#86	[-]
Posts: 1440 (05/27/08 12:10 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	I actually woke up during the fucking procedure and felt the worst pain in my lower abdomen - felt like a knife. The doctor saw me and said "uh oh", signaled to the nurse and then I was back under. Dude we all know that was just a Saturday night at the bath house, quit rationalizing it. TRHo, they say it is best if you have a warm up before the colonoscopy, what do you say? Also, why don't they do it another way? Because that wouldn't be as much fun, now would it?
merkyl		#87	[-]
Posts: 53606 (05/27/08 12:12 PM) Registered loser Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	nedloh3 wrote: "Why did you put your response in a spreadsheet? " I was busy & I'm anal about spellchecking & I was using my Lotus 123 speadsheet so I copy & pasted. Firefox has a spell checker.
TobaccoRhoda		#88	[-]
Posts: 26037 (05/27/08 12:12 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Oh and they will knock you out - you won't have a clue what they are doing. Did you not read the part about the godamned fucking marlin fishing? Well, did you? I am going to have to ask my bro about Versed. I don't think it knocks you out, you simply don't remember that you were awake. I could be wrong, though.
merkyl		#89	[-]
Posts: 53607 (05/27/08 12:13 PM) Registered loser Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	I don't think it knocks you out, you simply don't remember that you were awake. I think that's also called a "date rape drug".
nedloh3		#90	[-]
Posts: 3879 (05/27/08 12:16 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	I have my reasons for not using Firefox during the day when I'm fucking off @ OT. They prolly wouldn't make sense to the normal person but who here is normal?
Mister Slippery		#91	[-]
Posts: 14736 (05/27/08 12:17 PM) Registered Abuser Administrator Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	TobaccoRhoda wrote: Oh and they will knock you out - you won't have a clue what they are doing. Did you not read the part about the godamned fucking marlin fishing? Well, did you? I am going to have to ask my bro about Versed. I don't think it knocks you out, you simply don't remember that you were awake. I could be wrong, though. Look - it's not my fault you live in te middle of Nincompoopistan. I woke up at the end of mine and watched the monitor for a bit, but didn't feel anything unusual.
Hamdingers		#92	[-]
Posts: 7723 (05/27/08 12:18 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Well, what wouldn't be unusual to some people might be a little fucking weird to others.
TobaccoRhoda		#93	[-]
Posts: 26038 (05/27/08 12:19 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Versed depresses the central nervous system within 3 minutes when given by IV. Is affects last up to 6 hours so it is usually used for conscious sedation before major surgery or during minor surgery. When used alone, Versed does not effect breathing or circulation. But when it is used with other central nervous system depressants such as alcohol, it can also decrease lung capacity, blood pressure and cardiac output. So, you're awake the whole time, you just don't remember. Most of the time.
superguppie		#94	[-]
Posts: 22995 (05/27/08 12:20 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Not only woke up, but saw my colon on the screen. Oh, okay, so you've had them before. I woke up too, saw the colon on the screen, and was in massive pain because dude couldn't get the scope around my hepatic flexure. So he was just banging it against my damn colon. I felt terrifically gay for a moment and then I sort of whimpered. It was like a frigging nightmare because it hurt but I couldn't frigging talk. I'm sure it was good for him though.
TobaccoRhoda		#95	[-]
Posts: 26040 (05/27/08 12:23 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	I could talk, guppie. I said OW OW OW OW. TC, they can see inside you boobs. It's called a mammogram.
Dr Weems		#96	[-]
Posts: 37928 (05/27/08 12:24 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	I'll bet he said "damn....look at the size of Gammy's pooperhole. Looks like a Marlin stuck his nose up in there."
PassionatePiscesMan		#97	[-]
Posts: 4854 (05/27/08 12:35 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	But the non-invasion method won't remove any polyup they discover. Thn you would have to do it again the good ole up the arse way.
nomii		#98	[-]
Posts: 4228 (05/27/08 12:35 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Trust me TRho, getting things put up your ass would feel goooooooood.
Dr Weems		#99	[-]
Posts: 37929 (05/27/08 12:37 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	"We're gonna need a bigger marlin."
Endofthread		#100	[-]
Posts: 4311 (05/27/08 12:40 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Shortest, tiniest marlin ever.

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Colonoscopies What. The. Hell??!?

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