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Blondzilla5150 wrote:

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Dear Dump Diary,

I am really worried about Kaley and Paris, They have not written in you for a few days now, and I am starting to worry. I hope they aren't dead. I know some of their sexcapades and confessions to you are always a little 'out there' but they are good girls for the most part, with good hearts. and I hope they are both alright. Oh Diary, I pray that Kaley didn't go home with some random guy from her work for fun times, and instead got chopped into bits and fed to his pet squirrel's, and I hope Paris didn't get a fatal case of toxic shock in her vadge from that french toast she put up in there. *sigh*

OMG want to hear the weirdest story!!! I was camping once with some friends and they were setting up this fire I don't know why it was so early but it was still light outside anyways this crazy as squirell went running by or something like that maybe it was a chimpmunk since they're from hell and all biggest fear of chimpmunks. Like totally hate those things b/c this one time I was attacked by one, true story. I was just minding my own business when this damn chimpmunk attacked me like totally crawled over my shoe. I was terrified but anyways back to the whole camp thing, so like yeah they set up this fire and all of the sudden this chimpmunk squirell jumped out so the guys trying to be macho chased at it and the damn thing ran into the fire, out of the fire, into a tent and sent it a blazing. I didn't know what to do so I just watched as it burnt down the whole time thinking if my bag was in that tent or the other one. Lucky for me it was in the other tent but unlucky for one of hte guys he got burnt kind of badly. Its like this one time I caught my friend's hair on fire making a smore but that's a different story.

Dear Dump,

Today a kinky midget asked me if I ever had sex with a small person, without thinking I said "ewwww no." He then asked if I wanted too and I laughed at him, he got mad and I felt kinda sorta bad. I mean I just can't see them having a big penis or anything. I mean really how big can it get, anyways this story parellels into another story. One time at Sizzler, which totally sucks, this guy working there, who I think was a convinct or something b/c he looked bald and had tats and stuff and when me and my friends walked by he licked his lips like convicts do, but anyways this convict guy asked my one friend, who has red hair. . .which I really don't think is that pretty of a color, I think my hair is better and its softer, many guys prefer blondes so I try to keep it up, I mean really why would you want a boring brunette? I don't find TOO many brunettes that pretty, well women, men are different. Brunette women just have this dumpy quality to them and they look really really boring, I mean there are som exceptions and shit but that's only famous people except for that Disney slut, she's TOO short to be pretty its like Vanessa Hudginens or something like that, the one who sent a nude picture to the kid from Drake & Josh not the fat one but the one that's retarded. So anyways, this convict guy comes up and told us he likes reds. I was just like WTF!? I'm right there and you're going to hit on her but she got offended and shit so she told the manager and he got fired. Anyways, he got really mad and said he was going to kill her, he never did but I was thinking for a while about that A&E show the one about the dead people and the cases. . .I was thinking I could be on that show. . .I guess it was bad thinking about it but that midget today made me think of this story.

That is SOOOOO sweet, want a handjob?

I own a Hummingbird and its not a bird.

Dear Dump,

I'm about to bash one of my boss's balls in with a frying pan. If you are reading this Tony. .. . FUCK YOU PINKY DICK!! Yeah you're dick is the size of a pinky you little bitch hope you didn't think Shannon didn't tell people about it b/c she did you son of a bitch. Don't tell me that I need to get people drunker I mean WTF? Just b/c some C section stripper bitch is as nasty as hell doesn't mean you have to get on me about her not getting her fuckign tips, how bout putting a bag over the bitches head go green with a sack. I HATE YOU!!! Oh, by the by this guy I went to school with was run over while he was jogging today, the weird thing is I gave him a handjob like an hour or so before. I guess it was like the kiss or hand of deah or something. He's alive and all but he broke some bones I forget which ones but its not the important ones. Like an arm or collar bone or something, how the fuck would I know I'm not a doctor. Luckily his cock is okay, so he says. Not like my ex who I hate too but there's no point in bashing his balls since he can't get hard without Viagra anymore anyways.

Oh by the way, I can't fit all 3 names in the title its too long. So I just kept my name. This thread is kind of like Will and Grace, the show's named after me but you're kind of like my Jack & Karen, you're stars in your own right but if you get to close to my level of shine I'll take a bitch out.