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What an odd coincidence. I also dropped a Lincoln log this morning and found a bug in the bathroom, but instead of flushing it I snatched it up and shoved it up my puckered poopchute. It crawled around for a bit then I squeezed my sphincter until he shot out across the room and hit a loose tile.

The tile fell, shattering into miniscule bits of which one portion hit me square in the left eye. Bleeding and with feces running down my leg I jumped up and ran to the sink to wash out my eye. Unfortunately for me I grabbed the Drano by accident and dissolved my eye right out of its socket.

So here I am, with a bloody hole in my head and shit on my bum typing this as if everything is right with the world.