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Top 25 Teams- Week 3

1 Southern California
remain No. 1 in the NCAAF during their bye week. Next week the trojans destroy Ohio State in the Coliseum. USC already has a 10.5 spread, easily the biggest under Jim Tressel. Urban's Bettor Tip: Take the trojans minus points.

2 Florida, aka The U
Miami has lost a lot in the past twenty years, their pride, their dignity, but they always had the "U." That is until Knowshon spoke up: "U means university. U means being the best and we won the championship last year. Florida is the U. When I'm talking about Miami, I say Miami." Strong words, Knowshon. The stakes for this game are huge: the letter U. Unfortunately for Miami, they scored as many times as Vegaz Guy in a 26-3 rout, losing the U to their heated rivals. Miami, if you, not U, want your football legacy back, you're going to have to earn it.

3 LSU
stays at three after postponing this week's game against Troy due to Hurricane Gustav. The tigers play North Texas next week.

4 Oklahoma
beat up Cincinnati 52-26, moving up three spots. The sooners play at Washington next week.

5 California
adds another chapter to the most storied team in college football by beating Washington State 66-3 and moving up fourteen spots. To put that in perspective, the bears scored fifty points above the betting line and gave the Washington State cougars their worst loss in the history of its 104 year-old program. The hotgaybears travel across country to play Maryland next week.

6 Auburn
moves up two spaces by beating Southern Miss 27-13. The tigers play at Mississippi State next week.

7 Ohio State
falls three spaces after struggling with Ohio University, eventually winning 26-14. The buckeyes lose to USC next week.

8 Texas
drops two spaces after beating UTEP 42-13. The longhorns play against a struggling Arkansas team next week.

9 Oregon
falls four spots after beating up wimpy Utah State 66-24. Coach Belloti only played his second stringers but still came up with 688 offensive yards, the greatest in the school's history. But a victory isn't a victory until you pour salt in the wounds. "It was like playing in high school again," said one Oregon freshman. Hell yes.

10 Georgia
rises four spots after beating Central Michigan 56-17. The bulldogs play at South Carolina next week.

11 Penn State
jumps onto the list after humiliating Oregon State 45-14. The nittany lions play at Syracuse next week. Can they win?

12 Virginia Tech
rises twelve spots after last week's disaster is greatly mitigated by this week's West Virginia disaster. (At least VT was able to hang 22 on the ECU priates.) The hokies also beat Furman 24-7. They play against Georgia Tech next week in perhaps this season's biggest ACC game.

13 Wisconsin
move onto the list after scoring 51 unanswered points against Marshall in a 51-14 blow-out. The badgers play at Fresno State, an extremely strong WAC team, next week.

14 Alabama
drops five spots after sputtering to a 20-6 victory over Tulane. Somewhat of a letdown after the Clemson win. The crimson tide plays Western Kentucky next week.

15 Utah
falls two spots after coming alive in the second half to slam UNLV 42-21. The Utes (that better not be an amerindian tribe) play at Utah State next week.

16 Tennessee
rises two spots during their bye week. The vols are still smarting after the UCLA loss and will have a lot to prove when they play against UAB next week.

17 Texas Tech
jumps onto the list after winning at Nevada, 35-19. The raiders play Southern Methodist next week.

18 TCU
falls three spots after beating Stephen F. Austin (not a real school) 67-7. The horned frogs face Stanford at home next week in what should be an interesting game.

19 Arizona State
returns to the list after enjoying an unexpectedly easy win against Stanford 41-17. The sun devils play UNLV next week.

20 UCLA
rises a spot during their bye week. The bruins face another major opponent next week when they play at Bigot Young University. Can UCLA repeat the magic?

21 Michigan
falls four spots after struggling mightily with Miami (the fake one in Ohio), eventually winning 16-6. The wolverines play at Notre Dame next week in a game very reminiscent of last year's battle of the terrible.

22 BYU
rises a spot after beating Washington 28-27. And I want to take this opportunity to thank the refs for keeping Jake Locker in-line. I've always said that gun-touting, motorcycle-driving, reef-smoking Jake Locker is an American bad-ass and an all-around menace to society. And I won't rest until Locker is out of the game, off my screen, and off the streets. What he doesn't understand is that football is at its best when it's a battle of two emotionless collectives. The cougars play UCLA next week at home.

23 Florida State
falls three spots after routing a weak Western Carolina team 69-0. The Seminoles racists continue their I-AA schedule when they face-off against Chattanooga next week.

24 South Carolina
drops twelve spots after losing 17-24 in an embarrassing game at Vanderbilt. The gaymcocks hope to rebound in next week's game against Georgia for fear of becoming irrelevant.

25 West Virginia
All I have to say is, what the hell happened to the Big East. Two years ago, they were on top of the world with a strong West Virginia, Louisville and Rutgers and winning Bowl games like crazy. Fast forward two years and the Big East has never been worse. West Virginia, Louisville and Rutgers have all been squarely kicked in the balls by other teams already and no other Big East team is stepping up or looking good. Last week's 3-24 loss against East Carolina was just icing on the cake. When the best team in the Big East can't score a touchdown against East Carolina, you know you're playing in a conference which should forcibly give up their BCS status.