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Wednesday, August 11, 2004, BB5

'Twas the Night Before Eviction - An Ode To Jase

Twas the night before eviction, when all through the house
not a hamster was stirring, not even a jackass
The suitcases were packed and rolled to storage with care,
In hopes that eviction soon would be there;

The hamsters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of no jase danced in their heads;
And cowboy in his 'kerchief, and nik in her cap,
Had just settled down for a long summer's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
they sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the window they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

Right after lockdown, with the sun shining bright
The HOH competition was such a scary sight.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
A shuffleboard setup, complete with all gear,

With a little old camera mounted high and above,
They knew it would record the slightest little shove.
More rapid than possible, a surprise to them all,
The peckerheadpig shoved them aside with such gall.

"Now, COWBOY! now, NATALIE now, WILL and KAREN!
Move, ADRIA, move NIK, move DREW, DIANE and MARVIN!
To the tip of the shuffleboard, and with all the gear,
Now shuffle away! shuffle away! shuffle away one and all!"

As each hamster took their turn on the fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, go to the sly,
So down to the end of the course the puck flew,
With the hope and the joy, and maybe HOH too.

And then, in a twinkling, they knew it was no spoof
The prancing and pawing of each jackass hoof.
The hours drawing near, and is the case,
Down to the last hours, then there's no Jase.

He was wet all in sweat, from his head to his foot,
His pit stains were drenched with BO and more soot;
With a big brother bag he had flung on his back,
He looked like a has been, all kicked out of his shack.

His eyes -- how they beaded! his wrinkles all deep!
His forehead were like canyons his hair looked so freak!
His droll little mouth was drawn down like a scowl,
And the deformed upper body was just way too foul;

The pink Holly hat he held on his head,
in memory of the girl he once had in his bed;
When Julie Chen said, Jase, where you are living;
The pussy alliance, oh the mind fuck keeps giving!

He was surprised and shocked and all by himelf,
And they laughed and shouted in spite of themselves;
A wink of their eyes and a twist of their heads,
Soon gave him to know he had everything to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door,
And alone by himself, his big brother bag on the floor,
He picked it all up and slung it around,
And giving a nod, he turned with a frown;

He opened the door, and his team gave a whistle,
And up they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But he heard them exclaim, as he walked from the cast.
FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, WITH PUSSY POWER, WE ARE FREE AT LAST.

Copyright 2004 QuietSurvivorFan, Survivor Sucks EZBoard

Now for the real feed summary recap.

They voted today, probably 6 to 1 for eviction. Not much happened, Jase and Marvin packed. THey had a lockdown and a half shuffleboard court was setup in the backyard where they got to practice, presumably for tomorrow's HOH. More than likely it will be a luck thing as none of them had any particular skill with the game. Jase practiced and still thinks he has an outside chance of staying. It is the mind fuck the keeps on giving.

Peace Out

Also, here is the link to the Adria Twin Beast HOH week, early days of her reign as HOH in the house.

http://survivorsucks.yuku.com/topic/5257?page=3

And here is the best recrap moment yet of all seasons:

Sunday, August 15, 2004, HOH Twin Beast Explodes!!

Dumbria (That is adria) just could not stand to hold all of the power of the veto and HOH at the same time. She walked around the house for 24 hours before she exploded with pent up cum from the gargantuant hardon she sported for this excruciating long period of time as the power hungry c_u_n_t that we know her to be. (For my regular readers, please excuse the extra strong snarkiness today. We appear to have a new ghostnic that can't stand the spirit of sucks and wants us to make nice in the lovey dovey fashion of the other nauseating BB5 websites out there on the web.)

Dumbria, the HOH twinbeast, went running around the house trying to engage anyone in a POV discussion. No one was interested in talking to her. She ran outside to the w/k/n group that was talking and nik and karen promptly fled from the HOH twinbeast that was enroaching in their personal space. Will stayed and replied with noncommittal comments on every conversation Dumbria tried to start. She got frustrated and went back inside. Will decided to work off his cooties by running on the treadmill.

Marvin then went inside where the HOH twinbeast cornered him in the kitchen and began to try to engage in conversation about the fact he still had options in the game and 2 chances to save himself. Marvin kept trying to change the subject, but all that did was stroke the HOH twinbeast's dick harder and bigger. It exploded all over the place when he would not slap his lips all over the tip and swallow what was c_u_m_m_i_n_g.

At that point Marvin went off on the HOH twinbeast in that way that is so special to Marvin. He reminded her that she and her sister are only in this house because he helped to save her ass in week 3 and that he was the only one who defended her against Jase during week 4. There was only one way to take his nomination and that was personal. He then said that he was not going to beg to be vetoed off because his actions in the game should speak for themselves and the vote should let him know where he stands. He said the integrity of the game is all fucked up because each twin got to read a book, take a shit and shower without a camera for half the time while he was in the house under the conditions of the game. The fact that 2 sisters are in the house to work together stacked the game against him and that he figures there is no point in begging for the veto, so she can forget that.

Marvin told her he doesn't know which sister he ever talked to so he doesn't know any of them, because the "twist fucked things up". He then accused the HOH twinbeast of working directly for CBS and not really being a contestant on the show. The HOH twinbeast was speechless with that one. Another direct hit scored by the fearless Marvin.

She then tells him that she will forgive him for some of the things he said on Friday night. He asked her what things. Then the HOH twinbeast got her dick hard again because he was supposed to remmeber the very personal slur that he laid on her character. She reminded him that he accused her of putting put the black man and the gay dude (only I believe he used the N word). He said why should I apologize, it is the truth and he rammed it down her throat again. The HOH twinbeast at that point got very upset because a perfectly good dick hardon went as limp as a wet noodle.

But alas, don't worry, the HOH twinbeast began to stroke its balls this time and got it aroused again because at that point she said that the nominations are not personal. Marvin then asked her if Jesus told her what order to put the keys in. SHe said no, it might as well be random, then Marvin took that back at her and said, "but I thought you said your decisions came to you through your faith in prayers". Checkmate, he talked her into recanting that Jesus told her what to do and that it was random, and then back again to Jesus. It was quite brilliant how he did that.

Marvin then went outside and Will and Marvin trashed the HOH twinbeast for a long, amusing tirade while the HOH twinbeast began yelling inside the house that there are still options on the table. When no one came out of the various rooms to find out what was going one, she marched into the cloud room and announced to Diane, Drew and Nik that the vote had to be a tie this week since everyone was too big of a pussy to be gutsy in the game, then she can break the tie vote on national tv. When she did not get the blow job for her raging hardon there, she slunk back out into the kitchen and let Cowpussy blow her off. He swallows.

Will went inside to get some water and the HOH twinbeast cornered him right there and said they had to communicate. She then put her nice, big dick in front of his mouth and demanded that he suck her off. Will backed away in horror. He told her they won't be on the same page over how she chose her nominees and how she did not communicate to the team and he no longer wants to look backward and only wants to look forward. So once again, the HOH twinbeast has a raging hardon that fell limply to the floor.

Meanwhile, Karen missed all the drama because she had her own drama in the diary room for 3 hours talking to producers and eventually the shrink. She came back into the house and found everyone ducking for cover, EXCEPT the HOH twinbeast who cornered her in the bathroom and announced how the HOH twinbeast is now at peace with everything, the vote will be a tie, no one wants to be vetoed off, therefore she will be the only one using a dick and making the decision on national tv. Karen just nodded knowingly thinking the whole time, "this twinbeast is crazy and I have to pee".

After all this drama died down, Drew came out of his 7 week coma today and voiced an opinion to the HOH twin beast. He told her it was probably a good idea to not use the veto and not piss off more people to get mad at her. They then talked about contingencies for next week if the twins get put on the block. He worked it all out where drew and diane will save one of them in the POV and someone else will be put up instead. The HOH twinbeast agrees, not understanding that the hidden 4 twin alliance will finally be exposed and whoever is HOH next week would put up the drew/diane component that did not win the veto. Once those braniacs agreed on this, he promptly went back into his coma.

Now, swirling around the house are other relationships that keep the mystery and drama floating. Nastylie is sucking cowpussy's dick 24/7 to keep his head firmly inserted up the asses of both twinbeasts. They are using him for his loyalty and vote and count on him to not be able to use his ONE god given brain cell to draw a logical conclusion about the game. Meanwhile, they told him to keep this 24/7 oral sex relationship a secret so they can protect him. Since he never has had a blow job in his life, he happily agrees to this arrangement.

Diane is acting as a secret agent for the twin alliance, pretending to empathize with the n/k/w faction at various times during the day. They never directly challenge her on her loyalties. They are assuming that diane is loyal and by default Drew is not a threat to them.

Now here is where it gets interesting. To orchestrate a tie vote, drew/cowpussy/nastylie are voting will out. Diane/karen/nik are voting marvin out. HOH twinbeast Dumbria will send Will to sequester on national tv Thursday nite. They have determined they are safer breaking up a known 3 some and risking a 2 some with the floater Marvin. They think Marvin will be so grateful to be saved that he won't go after them. Their memory is very selective because remember, he took out Lori for the 10K at the first opportunity and it took him 3 weeks to get in a position to do that. They also underestimate how catty Will will be in the jury house.

Let's talk about the jury. Marvin will never vote for a twin to win unless the nadria unit makes it to the end intact. Then he has to. He is just too insulted by the twist. Then Will/Nik/Karen talked today about who they would vote for at the end with various final 2 options. Not once did a part of the nadria unit get the final vote if they were there alone against other hamsters. So no matter how the game unravels over the next 5 weeks, the nadria unit has alienated 4 jury members. The most they hope to win at this point is 50K.

Let's talk about Diane. She is in the safest position. The w/k/n unit does not know she is a double agent at this point. She can openly diss the twinbeasts because the twin beasts think she is part of a final 4 twin alliance. However, she has told Drew that if the twins get targeted and split up early, they will float back to the other side. Drew is whigged by the HOH twinbeast tirade today. He likes natalie more and rims her at every opportunity - when he comes in and out of his comas.

Let's talk about Cowboy. His only friends in the house are the twinbeasts. If they get split up, he loses his anchor. Right now he is useful to them and they are bigger targets.

Let's talk about the bad game of the n/k/w unit. They finally figured out that Will is vulnerable this week but they are only focussed on not being put up together tomorrow if the veto is used on marvin. They haven't even clued in on the fact that Will is the target. They decided to talk to the HOH twinbeast last tonite and she came to them in the cloud room (everyone else was outside) and they all made nice. The HOH twinbeast accepted her blow job as her natural right, and the other 3 did not understand they just got played. Instead they think they played her. Will then went into the HOH to listen to music but ended up getting Bible verses read to him by the twinbeasts. He left the HOH and was very friendly to Drew right outside that door, which then caused Drew to think he and Diane are being played so he woke up briefly from his coma again. That is TWICE in one day!!

Will went outside and Diane went out there to talk to him. Will told her that they made up with the HOH twinbeast because they don't want her to use the veto. He did NOT tell Diane that they still plan to target the twin beasts next week. I listened for that but did not hear him say it directly.

Diane goes back inside and Drew grabs her and they crouch down by the dining room table and whisper about if they are being played by the twinbeasts. They are both whigging now and decide to go see the twinbeasts in the HOH. They go in there and Nastylie immediately tells Drew that Will has been trash talking him all week along with Karen and they have targeted him. LIE. Diane does not reveal to the twin beasts that they now do not trust them that much. DISTRUST. So this twin alliance is as shakey as the pussy alliance. The cowboy entity is hidden from Drew and Diane. There are a lot of things here that if people start talking and comparing notes, it will all blow up in their faces.

Meanwhile Will is outside listening to his tunes. Diane goes to bed, Drew stays in the HOH and gets talked down from whigging by Nastylie, who he trusts more than HOH twinbeast. Nastylie goes to the bathroom area where cowpussy is waiting for another blowjob, she gives it to him.

Cowpussy goes to bed, but is concerned because he can't figure out where drew and will are. Drew goes to bed finally. Nastylie is in the kitchen making a protein drink when Marvin surfaces to forage for food. Nastylie can not contain her superior knowledge and begins to talk in metaphors that as soon as someone thinks a book is all worn out and should be thrown away, someone might pick it up and discover there is still a lot of good reading left on the pages. Now here is where BB is cruel. For no good reason, we get fish tanks for several minutes and then only come back as Marvin and Nastylie end their conversation. Marvin then walks back to his area of the house but then turns around and comes back out and asks her to clarify again what she said. He nods and walks back to his room. Nastylie goes to her bed. The hamsters are asleep.

Things to look out for this week.

1) Does Marvin reveal what he was told tonite about possibly being safe? If so, to whom?

2) Will the twins trip up and catch each unit in their lies?

3) Will the cowpussy allegiance to the twinbeasts be discovered by the rest of the house?

4) Will Diane be found out?

Who orchestrated thsi mess this week? Diane, she planted the seeds that the w/k/n unit was not happy at the HOH win. I watched the episode again and they were smiling. Then when she was telling this lie in the HOH, BB showed unsmiling individual faces on the tv. I think these expressions were during the turns of the HOH contests as they watched the puck go around.

So who had best game this week?

1) Diane, she caused everyone to be a target but her and drew. She pushed more people out in front of them

2) Cowpussy, he accidentally got behind two huge targets. By the time they are all dealt with, he won't be remembered until it might be too late.

3) Drew, he is in a coma, he is getting overlooked by all but Karen.

4) Karen, she has acted convincingly crazy and fragile so she was not considered a target this week

Now who has played a bad game this week?

1) Nik, she can't hide her disgust with the twinbeasts so now she is the next former pussy alliance target.

2) The twinbeasts, they are the puppets to Diane and don't know it. They made themselves huge targets 2 weeks earlier than they would have been.

So here is your very snarky, very graphic feed recap, in all the tradition and glory of SUCKS



So stay tuned, more snark for Season 10 is just TWO DAYS AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!