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Before going on the show:

1- Have my haircut in a short yet stylish cut

2- Have my eyeliner tattooed on.

3- Make sure to wear at every single interview or photo session the following outfit:
- Underwear (black sports bra and 2 pairs of black matching underwear) with a bathing suit over it (everything will be black or dark brown- won't look as dirty)
- Zip-off-at-the-knee black cargo pants that are durable and warm, with lots of pockets (good for smuggling food back from rewards, and hiding things)
- Black t-shirt over my underwear and bathing suit
- Three pairs of socks
- Hiking boots (so if they throw me into the game they will have to give me my sneakers and I'll have warm, dry boots AND sneakers)
- A ultra-warm zip up hoodie to cover my t-shirt, bathing suit, and underwear
- To top it all off a rain-proof yet stylish jacket.
- A leather necklace with a wooden ornament on it, as well as shells, beads, and other stuff on it (this will come in handy later)

4- Make sure to perform well (but not *to* well) at challenges when we are in tribes- enough to help the tribe win- but not stand out. NEVER put myself in a position like being the "caller" at a challenge where everyone is blindfolded. Once the game goes to individual challenges, suck like hell so people won't see me as a threat.

5- Four simple words: Keep my mouth shut.

6- Work hard around camp.

7- Act interested in everyone's life stories, remember details.

8- Get sent to exile, find HII, and swap the real HII with my necklace I wore to the island. The plan is to wear the necklace to the island, hidden under my shirt. Then once we get on the island, take it off and hide it in one of my pants pockets so no one can see it. Use the decoy necklace to make someone else think they have the HII, while I have the real one hidden in the woods.

9- put on 10 pounds of fat, then 3 days before going slowly wean my diet down to almost nothing. This way my stomach is pre-shunk and I won;t be sick or hungary the first few days.

10- Have custom bi-focals made that I really don't need but can be used for two things: 1- making a fire 2- making a fish hook. Make sure they can do both these things before going.

11- Read every survival book I can find and find out things that will make life easier.

12- Always remember what people say about other people so I can use it against them later

12- Wait a few days and find 4 other loyal people to form an alliance with. Not hang out with them or be buddy buddy. Meet with them while collecting wood to dicuss who we are booting at tribal.

13- If I am suspected of being voted off do one of two things: -Use my HII I cleverly hid the entire time OR go up to people one by one before tribal and say "I know I am going home, and it's OK, but I am going to be on the jury, and it would mean so much to me if I didn't go out unanimously. If you could just not vote for me and vote for "Mary", it would do two things- it would be a stray vote you could blame on "Bill" and get "Mary" to hate him, and it would show me you really liked me and I would guarantee you my jury vote. I know the other 6 tribe members are votiong for me, so I am going home anyway, but if you could just not vote for me, it won't hurt quite so much." Say this little story to everyone seperatly right before we leave for tribal. Then at tribal -right before we vote- say, "I know I am going home tonight, Jeff, and it's OK. I know I made a true friend on this island, and I know this is a game. This person deserves to win and will have my vote." Everyone will think I am talking about them, vote for "Mary" thinking they are the only one, and "Mary" will go home.

14- the final and most important thing to do before I go on Survivor and collect my million dollars: Have a tattoo done of my "husband and 2 kids" that fatally died in a car crash months before I was cast. Never mention this tragedy the entire show until final tribal when I am in final 2. Then when someone asks my hardest moment in life I will grimly peel off my sock, show the tattoo and tell how my entire family was wiped out by a drunk driver while briefly making eye contact one of the guys that got drunk during a reward challenge. That will be 2 votes in the bag right there. The other 2 will be friends I made.