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Since there is a tie, there will be no #2, therefore here is the first episode to share the title of my favorite Simpsons episode of all-time:



1. A Milhouse Divided (season 8)






More than any other episode, I quote this one the most. This is due to the incredible idea to focus an episode around possibly the best secondary character of all-time, Kirk Van Houten. A former "big shot" down at the cracker factory, Kirk's life unravels after his wife Luann asks for a divorce after a disaster of a dinner party hosted by the Simpsons. This sends Kirk's life into a downward spiral, where he loses his job as a result and has to move into a crappy apartment. This could pose a problem for the viewers, where they wouldn't want to laugh at a character so pathetic. But it is Kirk's resilience that allows him to be both sympathetic and hilarious. He takes pride in the fact that he gets to sleep in a race-car bed and sees his firing as an opportunity to launch his singing career. The result of the latter is what I consider the best song in television history, and I ask you to give it a listen here if you have never heard it before:

Can I Borrow a Feeling?

This is what I consider the absolute funniest Simpsons episode of all-time, with a great story, a great fleshing out of a secondary character, and it tackles the issue of divorce that spills over to a subplot involving Homer and Marge. It takes place after what I consider the absolute prime era of the Simpsons (seasons 4-7), but it's still a fantastic episode that I have to give a spot at the top of this list.

Quotes:

Bart: If you really wanted us to be neater, you'd serve us out of one 
       long bowl.
Marge: You're talking about a trough.  We're not going to eat from a
       trough.  And another thing, it's only 5:15.  Why are you in your
       underwear?
 Bart: Hey, this ain't the Ritz

Marge: Well, maybe we could use it once, and then return it.
Homer: Marge, we're not talking about a toothbrush here.

Kirk: Ah, come on Luanne, you know what this is.
 Luanne: Kirk, I don't know what it is.
   Kirk: [sighs] It could not be more simple, Luanne.  You want me to 
         show this to the cat, and have the cat tell you what it is?  
         'Cause the cat's going to get it.
 Luanne: I'm sorry, I'm not as smart as you, Kirk.  We didn't all go to 
         Gudger College.
          [timer dings]
   Kirk: It's dignity!  Gah!  Don't you even know dignity when you see 
         it?

Kirk: Why don't you tell them one of your little bedtime stories, huh?
       Like the one about how rotten it is to be married to a loser.  Or
       how about the one about how I carry a change purse?  Yeah, a
       purse!

Luanne: I want a divorce!
          [everyone gasps]
   Kirk: [surprised] I... I... a divorce?
         [resolute] Sure.  Divorce.  Hey, you got it toots!  And here's
         a picture even you can figure out!
         [draws a circle in a rectangle]  It's a door!  Use it!

Kirk: Singles life is great, Homer.  I can do whatever I want.  Today I 
       drank a beer in the bathroom.
Homer: The one down the hall.
 Kirk: Yeah!  And another great thing, you get your own bed.  I sleep in 
       a racing car, do you?
Homer: I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
 Kirk: Oh.  Yeah.  

Kirk: You're letting me go?!
Boss: Kirk, crackers are a family food.  Happy families.  Maybe single 
      people eat crackers, we don't know.  Frankly, we don't want to
      know.  It's a market we can do without.
Kirk: So that's it, after twenty years: "So long, good luck"?
Boss: I don't recall saying "good luck."

Milhouse: [makes racing noises] And the winner of the Milhouse 500 is...
          Milhouse!

Homer: I know you're only eight years old, and I don't want to put a lot
       of pressure on you, but you've got to save my marriage!
 Lisa: Oh.  Okay.  Can I stay up?
Homer: [thinks]  All right.