I am so pissed.
I recently found a box of my sister's old fairy tale children's books and, upon reading them, I have come to realize this shit makes NO SENSE.
A. In Cinderella, her clothes turn back to rags, the carriage becomes a pumpkin and all, and yet the fucking slipper stays intact. WHY THE FUCK DID IT NOT TURN BACK LIKE THE REST OF HER COSTUME? It'd be much more realistic if the prince went around making women try on a nasty worn out flip flop.
B. I'm sorry, I don't care how much hair she had or how strong it was, Rapunzel would've been fucking scalped. There is no way her head could handle the weight of a full grown man climbing up on her locks.
C. Snow White - she didn't die from the poison apple because, apparently, the piece of apple got lodged in her throat. WELL THEN WHY DIDN'T SHE FUCKING DIE OF LACK OF OXYGEN? And furthermore, where the fuck did the piece of apple go when the prince kissed her, because she sure as fuck didn't spit it out.
D. Wouldn't Sleeping Beauty have awful morning breath?
E. Why didn't The Little Mermaid just grab a piece of paper and write "I AM THE SAME FUCKING GIRL FROM THE BEACH YOU DENSE ASSHOLE!" and saved herself the trouble of almost losing her man to a fat octopus and dying in the process? She clearly could write since she read and signed the contract Ursula gave her.
Discuss.
I recently found a box of my sister's old fairy tale children's books and, upon reading them, I have come to realize this shit makes NO SENSE.
A. In Cinderella, her clothes turn back to rags, the carriage becomes a pumpkin and all, and yet the fucking slipper stays intact. WHY THE FUCK DID IT NOT TURN BACK LIKE THE REST OF HER COSTUME? It'd be much more realistic if the prince went around making women try on a nasty worn out flip flop.
B. I'm sorry, I don't care how much hair she had or how strong it was, Rapunzel would've been fucking scalped. There is no way her head could handle the weight of a full grown man climbing up on her locks.
C. Snow White - she didn't die from the poison apple because, apparently, the piece of apple got lodged in her throat. WELL THEN WHY DIDN'T SHE FUCKING DIE OF LACK OF OXYGEN? And furthermore, where the fuck did the piece of apple go when the prince kissed her, because she sure as fuck didn't spit it out.
D. Wouldn't Sleeping Beauty have awful morning breath?
E. Why didn't The Little Mermaid just grab a piece of paper and write "I AM THE SAME FUCKING GIRL FROM THE BEACH YOU DENSE ASSHOLE!" and saved herself the trouble of almost losing her man to a fat octopus and dying in the process? She clearly could write since she read and signed the contract Ursula gave her.
Discuss.
