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142 - "4 Continents, 24 Cities, 40,000 Miles"
a.k.a - Ugh @ that boring ass racist bitch winning.



I basically hate all the x continents, y cities and z miles titles since they're so uninspiring. I have to believe they could've come up with a better title than that (though on the whole, finale titles are shitty. Though, on the whole of the whole, TAR finales are shitty.) Anyways, this gets the dubious honor of being last over the other 3 because A) they suck, B) they suck and C) because if you do the calculations, you get a total of a little under 33,000 miles (calculations determined by this excellent site). And did I mention they suck?

141 - "5 Continents...10 Countries...and More Than 59 Thousand Miles!"
a.k.a. - I get it, the Hippies shit rainbows and pixie dust.


Again, another unsatisfying finale. Since the Hippies weren't racist/elitist, they didn't offend my black ass as much as the Princess did, but still they were annoying and really only won because of the bunching on the final plane ride. Moreover, I dislike the use of punctuation; ellipses and an exclamation mark are too much, as is the spelling out of thousand. Meh.

140 - "Five Continents, 25 Cities, and More Than 40,000 Miles"
a.k.a. - American Airlines makes up for TAR 6



I've expressed my feelings regarding this finale and this season; good for Uchenna/Joyce, but I'd rather there be like, 100% less moralizing, hypocrisy and bullshit equalizers. It's a fairly blah title for a fairly blah season, and that symmetry keeps it out the gutter.

139 - "I Wonder If They Like Blondes in New Zealand?"
a.k.a. - ZOMG (the) blondes are retarded lolol!!1



(before you bitch, it was the only picture I could find)

If there's anything in a title I dislike as much as bland ones, they're ridiculously stupid ones like this. Granted, I'm aware that the Blondes have a tendency to spout out random shit (as evidenced two episodes prior) but this was still really lame. Not to mention, it was the first time they spoiled the episode (namely where they were going and yes, I am aware they released the route prior to the season, but still)*

*granted, there was another episode title that implicitly spoils something, but that will not be appearing for a while

138 - "The Final Push"
a.k.a. - Wake me up when TAR13 starts



Boring title for boring winners. You mean to tell me that with ridiculously quotable Ron and Don, intelligent and ripe-for-a-soundbite-regarding-her-relationship-with-Ron Christina and sarcastic Nick, that you couldn't find a decent title out of any of them? Bullshit. If it only weren't for that need for every winner to have an episode title, then we probably wouldn't have gotten one so gay.

And...5 seems good for now. Discuss.

JasonSiskaLulz wrote:

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aww i like the blondes : /

h8 for the boring finale titles though

A) I do too, it's just that was sooooo dumb of a title (as were almost all this season). Conversely "Do You Like American Candy?" is wtf ridiculous but not so ridiculous it becomes dumb

B) So very true. One of them makes the Top 10 though (and you all had better be smart enough to know what that is)

Eta: Unlike the finales for TAR 6 and TAR7 and "...New Zealand?", there were plenty of pictures of TKR at the finish line. You're welcome.

I'll be sure to pretend to consider your comments. Moving on, here's five more:

137. Bees Are Much Calmer Than All This!
a.k.a. - Those are some pretty damn calm bees, then.



Worst.premiere.ever, no? At least the TAR3 title is fairly good and has a shitload of people passing up the obligatory skydiving task. The title is also totally inaccurate, since that leg was boring as shit. Unless you're the token old/eccentric/cannonfodder team who is destined to go out first...hey!

136. 25 Days, 50 Cities, and More Than 600 Consecutive Hours As A Family...
a.k.a. - The end is in sight...and it's not a bad end at all.



It's the last of the x countries, y continents, z miles titles, and aside from it being redundant (25 days = more than 600 hours), it's kind of epic. I totally couldn't imagine over 600 consecutive hours with my family without someone getting killed, so it's a smidge epic. Unlike the other finales with this form of titling, the actual leg was awesome, too, pushing it up relatively high.

135. No Babies On The Race!
a.k.a. - The one with the not-at-all-shocking exit if you bother to watch the promos.



Seriously, this would probably be the worst ranked title were it not for the events of the leg. The most boring racers get a title, and it's not even said by them (it's printed out by equally boring but slightly more attractive racers). Still, the combination of Philippines/Mirnaownage that led to Romber's bloated asses getting an early boot is enough to make me think more of the shitty title.

134 (tie). This Is Forever, Now
a.k.a. - Boring titles almost ruining amazing episodes, part 1



Like I said, it's kind of a boring ass episode title, especially coming from quote-fountain Don. What saves it, though was the fact that this was one of the best episodes in recent memory (like, it and the next leg make my top 25). It provided a chance for the teams who have been pushed to the background (basically everyone but Ron/Chris and Nate/Jen) some much needed screentime. Still, the title sucked.

134 (tie). The Family Christmas Card
a.k.a. - Finally one of these bitches are going home



(there wasn't really any pictures from the episode, so enjoy one of Pamela/Vanessa making wtf faces)

To be honest, again, the title sucked. What puts it this high is having to wait literally a month for one of the four teams to be eliminated (Paolo elim - Weaver NEL - TBC - pre-emption - Godlewski elim), thus allowing us to get this season over with. That's...about it. (Fun fact - for you spoiler whores, remember when they misspelled "family" and it sent everyone into a tizzy? Good times).

132. That is Studly
a.k.a. - Way to be Dan's bitch, Andrew



(I couldn't find any saveable pictures of the leg and didn't feel like using CBS, so enjoy this picture of a camel, since this season could've really used more animals)

Again, gay title. What's worse is that it is Andrew admiring Dan, when many of the previous episodes showed Andrew becoming more aware of Dan's shortcomings and getting some self-esteem (and *that* would've been an interesting storyline) even as recent as the prior episode. That being said, it's the first time they got a title when I'm sure they had many other gems so it's ranked highly because of it.



Also, a thought - for being such a crappy season, FE had some great titles, no?

Thailandsurvivor wrote:

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oh ehm gee wrote:

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137. Bees Are Much Calmer Than All This!
a.k.a. - Those are some pretty damn calm bees, then.



Worst.premiere.ever, no? At least the TAR3 title is fairly good and has a shitload of people passing up the obligatory skydiving task. The title is also totally inaccurate, since that leg was boring as shit. Unless you're the token old/eccentric/cannonfodder team who is destined to go out first...hey!

Yep. I actually didn't watch any episodes part that because I hated it so much. I've skipped the last two...might need to find time to go back and watch them.

The second India episode and the second Russia episode are both very good (unless you enjoyed the teams who were eliminated). India was hilarious and Russia was just amazingly complicated.

Here Comes The Bedouin' and most of the Gretchen titles soon, pls.

Even "We Have a Bad Elephant"?