Based on what weve seen in 17 seasons, here is the permanent, go-to guide for all future players on how to maximize their airtime on future editions of
Survivor.
In each post, please include one tip / pointer / piece of advice and number it. To get us started, I will begin with Tips #1-5.
Tip #1
At the final tribal council, if youre a member of the jury, clearly state SEVERAL times that none / neither of the finalists deserve to win.
Tip #2
Kill something large and eat it.
Tip #3
Fall in love with another player.
Tip #4
Cry. As often as possible.
Tip #5
Win all the physical individual immunity challenges.
Continue, please.
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- Survivor Sucks
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- American Idol PAST SEASONS
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- In Memory, 9/11/01
Maximizing Your Airtime - A "HOW TO" GUIDE
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 fsmdud |
Maximizing Your Airtime - A "HOW TO" GUIDE |
Lead | |
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Posts: 1815 (01/03/09 8:41 AM) Registered user |
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FallenTorch.fantasygamescen... |
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Posts: 16 (01/03/09 9:24 AM) |
Tip #6- Win (You're bound to get at least some airtime this way-use tips 1-5 for even better results)
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kishuu |
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Posts: 974 (01/03/09 9:26 AM) |
Win doesn't count cause Danni/Bob were pretty much invisible till their entire alliance got taken out.
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fsmdud |
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Posts: 1816 (01/03/09 9:38 AM) Registered user |
Tip #7
Make up some bullshit nickname for yourself like CaoBoi, Dreamz, Rocky, or Sugar. |
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tomersde |
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Posts: 216 (01/03/09 9:42 AM) |
Tip #8
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O2JamFreak |
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Posts: 169 (01/03/09 9:47 AM) |
Tip # 8
Have sex on the isle. Doesn't necessarily mean human partner. Could be the rat, the immunity idol, even your old fag tribemate if your desperate. |
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tomersde |
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Posts: 217 (01/03/09 9:47 AM) |
Tip #10
If you're an attractive young woman flirt with Jeff Probst in a way to make him think that he has a chance to see you naked when filming is over. |
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TroubleInTampa |
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Posts: 4599 (01/03/09 9:47 AM) Registered user |
Tip #9
Threaten to burn down something. |
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tomersde |
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Posts: 218 (01/03/09 9:50 AM) |
If you're a young good looking alpha male you don't need to do anything
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kishuu |
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Posts: 975 (01/03/09 10:06 AM) |
Tip #11
Be a quitter cause if you quit, the whole episode is dedicated to why you quit. |
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NickF227 |
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Posts: 6076 (01/03/09 10:15 AM) |
Tip #12
If your a masochist, go get impaled on a stick or throw yourself into a fire. You'll be forced out of the game, still have the whole episode like you quit but not have the shame that comes with it! |
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A Dying Clown |
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Posts: 7378 (01/03/09 10:42 AM) Registered User |
Tip #13
Roar. Loudly and often. |
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Dictatorship |
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Posts: 6370 (01/03/09 11:00 AM) |
Tip #14
Be a male. |
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NickF227 |
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Posts: 6082 (01/03/09 11:02 AM) |
Tip #14 Section A/2
Be a semi-decently attractive male. |
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JeffsOversizedShirt |
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Posts: 50 (01/03/09 11:17 AM) |
Tip #15
Develop a Boston/New England accent. It doesn't matter if the episode has nothing to do with you. As long as you have a Boston/New England accent, you'll get at least two confessionals an episode. |
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unduli clone |
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Posts: 3896 (01/03/09 11:41 AM) Registered User |
Dictatorship wrote:I was going to post this. Dictatorship is right on the money. |
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Seyz |
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Posts: 321 (01/03/09 1:59 PM) |
TIP #16
Find the Hidden Immunity Idol. Even if it has absolutely no bearing on the endgame if you don't use it, they will still at least dedicate one episode to you finding the hidden immunity episode and then multiple episodes thereafter insuinating that you might use it even if you don't. |
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WTFscissoring8 |
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Posts: 363 (01/03/09 2:04 PM) |
tip #17
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PrettyGoodYear1988 |
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Posts: 1914 (01/03/09 2:06 PM) Registered user |
Tip #17
Even if you have no real reason to, take time in each confessional to berate and insult all of your tribemates. Call them losers (and don't forget to stick up your fingers in an L shape) even if they've been pulling more weight than you in challenges. Pick on the fact that they have low-paying jobs or a lack of education even if your credentials aren't that much better. Make idle (yet convincing) threats of violence against each of them, even if none have personally wronged you. Be sure to bring up dead family members, miscarriages, and obesity (former or otherwise) as much as possible. |
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IluvGoddessCirie |
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Posts: 423 (01/03/09 2:20 PM) |
Dictatorship wrote:By far the most important tip of all. This will at least double your confessional count, and will save you from Jeff Probst's continual scorn and derision. |
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VTRealityAddict |
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Posts: 38 (01/03/09 2:36 PM) |
A Dying Clown wrote: Dictatorship wrote: See rule #13.5: Be Rupert. |
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- Survivor Sucks
- Lions, Tigers, Survivors - Oh My!
- Survivor Spoilers
- MESS Hall Tribal Council
- MESS Hall Archive
- Survivor Speculation
- Survivor 20+
- The Amazing Race
- Big Brother
- Big Brother - PAST SEASONS
- The Apprentice
- American Idol
- American Idol PAST SEASONS
- The Mole
- Lost
- Other Shows That Suck
- Off Topic
- Clubs That Suck. No, Really.
- The Dump
- Monster Island
- Purgatory
- FAQ
- In Memory, 9/11/01
